Hey guys, was just hoping for a bit of advice/support because I've decided to finally go and see my GP about how I've been feeling.
I started to suspect there wasn't something quite right with me about a year ago, but didn't go to my GP because I thought there was a chance it'd just pass. I won't go into it too much, but I was in a very destructive relationship where I was emotionally abused for a long period of time***. I didn't accept it for ages and only started to come to terms with it recently (8 months after it was over). My thoughts started to become more and more irrational at that time, and since then I've found they've gotten even worse. It's like every little thing I do is riddled with stress and worry, every decision I make is incredibly difficult because what if I make the wrong one? And my moods have been absolutely awful. The tiniest thing plummets me into a low, and a couple of times I've even had panic attacks over ridiculous things. The most frustrating part is KNOWING that I'm being irrational and that I just need to relax, because I just can't stop it! I have this constant uneasy feeling in my chest...I really don't know how to describe it. But it's like there's a weight on it that I'm always aware of. A feeling at the pit of my stomach that makes me always on edge. I can't remember the last time I was relaxed and it takes next to nothing to make me cry. On a slightly side note, in the same way it takes nothing to make me cry, it also takes nothing to make me feel high. There have been a few times in the last few months where I have felt absolutely EUPHORIC because of the smallest of happenings in my life. It never lasts long but boy is it an amazing feeling while it's there. Honestly indescribable.
I find that talking to people helps me, but only in the short term. My friends help me to rationalise and calm down, but I only fall into the same trap next time. I really benefitted from counselling in April, but the uni service only allows 3 sessions per semester. Alcohol makes it worse. Sometimes I'll go out drinking and be fine the next day, but other days I wake up and my feelings of anxiety and depression are intensified. I know alcohol is a depressant and it does that, but it's absolutely horrible and I feel I'm so close to giving up drinking altogether (very difficult as I am a 20 year old uni student!).
To cut a long story short I really don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so useless and pathetic. Normal people don't feel like this. It's so hard to explain what it feels like in my mind and I feel like I really need to see my GP.
If anyone could give me some advice/support that'd be amazing and really appreciated
Sorry for the really long post...I didn't realise I'd have so much to say.
darkparadise
***I should add that before said destructive relationship, I was very prone to stress in my day to day life, but no more than the average person. It felt manageable. It doesn't feel manageable now...whatever I have.
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darkparadise
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I have read your post & do understand where you are coming from
I am so sorry you went through such a bad relationship & no doubt this will have added to the anxiety that you seem to feel was already there
I think it would be the best thing to do to go & see your GP they are the professionals & can diagnose your symptoms as well as anxiety with the highs you feel at times you could have some depression
You have wrote a very good post & described everything so well , if you feel you may struggle once you are face to face with the GP as some of us do , I would take a copy of what you have written here & just pass it them & ask them to read it
I hope you make that appointment as soon as you can & get the help you need & deserve when we are suffering
Keep talking on here as you will get so much support & it helps to know you are not alone with this
I like your idea of me taking a copy I've written here to the GP. Think that would really help as I often go blank when I'm put on the spot!
I will definitely keep talking on here...I initially made an account last year, but that was when I was only just starting to have my suspicions, so I didn't fully know if I was worthy of being here. Now everything's accelerated I feel that I am, and will definitely benefit from the support. I look forward to being a part of the community
This site is for anyone that may feel they could be suffering with anxiety , even if it's mild or more severe & everyone is worthy of asking for support on here & I am pleased you have come back & hopefully it will help a little talking to others that understand how you feel
Hi darkparadise, I feel so sorry when I read your post, as it brought back so many bad memories, the only thing I will say, is will go away once you get the correct treatment and advice.
I am unable to give you any better advice than all our friends on this forum have given you, as most of them have far more experience than I have. Two pieces of advice I would repeat is a) Arrange an appointment as soon as possible, as this will give you a little comfort and something to look forward too and s) Write down as much as you can about your symptoms, feelings, fears, what events brings on the feelings of tension, anxiety e t c and give it to your GP and let them read it, he should then ask you relevant questions, to save wasting time, because it's amazing what you forget what you were going to say until you come out of the surgery.
May I wish you all the luck and hope your problems will be short lived.
I sympathise with you so much. It really sounds like you're in a lot of stress and discomfort most of the time - something which even the highs that you talk about wouldn't be able to make up for. Anxiety is an extremely unpleasant (even unbearable) feeling, so I understand exactly what you're saying.
Have you already made an appointment with your GP? If not, I would try to do it as soon as you can, as sometimes you will need to wait for a few days or even a week before you can see them, so getting the ball rolling as soon as possible would really help. I know that when I had to do it, even just making the call to start the process really made me feel like it was the beginning of the end.
Similarly to what whywhy suggested, you could print out what you have written here or just take a little post-it with some bullet points on that you can jog your memory with in the appointment in case you get stressed or were to forget something. Just try to be as honest as possible with him/ her and they can then do their best to help you.
I really hope you find yourself able to go to see your GP - I promise you that you will feel better for it. Let us know how it's all going!
You're right about the highs; I used to let them overshadow the bad times but then I realised that their short-term nature just wasn't enough. I'd love to have something that is more sustained and stable!
I have not yet made an appointment with my GP but I will do soon. The downside is that the GP I am registered with is in my uni city and I don't go back for another week! Whilst I feel that as I've felt like this for so long I can wait another week, I will be sure to make an appointment ASAP so there hopefully won't be more of a delay once I get there!
I will keep you posted with how everything is going Thank you for your advice.
I know how you feel - even the thought of an extra week can be so challenging! Could you call them to make the appointment whilst you're still home and arrange it for the week you get back? That way there would be less of a delay so you'd be starting the process sooner. (I can't tell whether that's what you meant in your post but if it wasn't then I would consider it)
Hope the start of the semester goes well & any deadlines or exams are as stress free as possible!
The idea of CBT has crossed my mind a few times and I think I'd benefit from it. I'm painfully aware of the errors in my cognitions, but as I'm sure you will agree, it is so difficult to change them even once you've acknowledged that you're making them! I'll bring it up to my GP and hopefully they'll give me some guidance.
Thanks for the sites...I'll be sure to have a look at them today! Definitely have time for a guided calm on this cold, rainy, miserable day!
Hi there I really feel for you. As everyone else has said , the GP will put you on the right path. Being in an abusive relationship has probably affected you and you might think that because your out of it , that you would be ok. You might benefit from talking
About this with someone. I have experience this myself And
It did make me far more anxious than is normal.
I did get over it. And got my self esteem back but it takes a
While. Be gentle with yourself. At least you have take. A
Good step by posting your feelings here. Make sure and
Tell everything to your GP ( don't be embarrassed ) and then
He will be able to help you. Hope you feel better soon.
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