Hi all xxx

Hi all xxx

Hi all how are we? All good I hope x

Well what a day x Im still happy, and im still having my blips, some good some not so good but Im coping x sailing on:)

I had a cbt session today x my 5th I think ive lost count lol. It was ok an hour of talking about what has bothered me in the last week. Told her my news of the neighbor moving x And other various head stuff x She told me my neighbour was a bully and maybe once she has gone it will ease some pressure as I feel under a lot with her there. I don't go out as you all know but the once i did it was no help her standing at the gate applauding me saying well done !! Even if it was meant in a nice way x anyway soon :) she will be gone by next week. No matter what comes out of my mouth to this woman (cbt) Im finding it all goes back to the same point x low self esteem and my dislike of thinking people don't like me. Im a people pleaser and I have to learn to let them come to me for once x No further forward with my ha or the fact Im not going out x

I also got a letter today to say when my hubby went to the doctors on my behave last week they decided to refer me for more help:) x lovely hubby I have . So as well as cbt I will have a mental health nurse assigned to me for assessment to see if we can get me out this house x Little bit nervous as one its a man, and two am i insane? lol x I have to do it though I need to be better x life is to short to waste x

On top of all this today, I think Im getting the flu:/ sniffles are on the way x and I feel cack. Should of gone for that bloody flu jab x:/

Anyway i hope you're all happy and positive today x

Donver xx p.s the pic is my two lovely boys x a lot of you saw danny the other day as my inspiration post x the other nathan who is type one diabetic and just as brave xx

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  • Hi donver, it's good to hear your doing well and that ur cbt went well. Your neighbour sounds like a right bitch (sorry) how patronising applauding u. It's great u went out but did not need that people who do not suffer anxiety will never know how we feel. I guess it's a bit like an alcoholic unless u are one u don't know how the individual feels. Great she's moving though. I must say I seen ur pic of ur little boy the other day what an inspiration he it brought tears to my eyes. I think god look at that little boy and the smile on his face and hears me obsessed about my health and heart problems when I have been given the all clear. Anyway enough of my waffling on hope u have a lovely evening :-) xxxx

  • Hi Loopy x ty :) Im doing my best and thats good enough for now x one small step at a time x my neighbour is a cap B ..itch I don't think she actually realized what she was doing but wow did it not make me feel so small x Anyway the negative things in life are best forgotten x If only she knew how we feel its so hard feeling so ill on the inside and looking so good on the outside. I guess this is where people assume we must cope as we look like we do.

    Ty also for the lovely words about my little boy x he is my world and his little bro x his little bro has diabetes x They both make me feel so proud, they smile every day and laugh an have fun x they want to seize the world and make it theres x Sometimes its hard find a way with anxiety x but I know we will all get there one day x :)

  • That's very true we will. I can't wait for that day to come lol as I won't lie iam sure ur aware everyday is a struggle. I just don't know how I have got this far when I look back it scares me what I have come through. On wards and up wards tough :-) xxx

  • When I look back I think what a waste x But its so hard for people to understand you face a invisible brick wall each day called anxiety x one day it will go as quickly as it come x We have all travelled so far we cannot give up now :) xx

  • No we can't. That's my other thing the waste of the past months and the fact it will change me forever! Hey oh tomorrows and other day lol :-) xx

  • Tomorrow is always a new day and its always tomorrow somewhere else x :) we cannot change our past but we can decide our futures x

  • Hi donver

    I saw the mental health nurse at our doctors on monday and found the session really helpful. she explained the types of services that are available to help people with mental health problems. She has suggested counselling for me and was really sympathetic to my situation. I think its really good that you are willing to give it a tr, its that positive attitude that will help you get better. Let us know how you get on x

  • Ty Jules, I guess its more the actual not knowing what they do x its a taboo subject and when people say mental health you think oh no. Or is that just me x It helps to know some of what they do so ty x My doctor seems to think that one session of cbt for a hour a week isnt going to get me anywhere fast which is why we are going down this route x I feel a lot more positive to give it a try so x fingers crossed it will all be good xx

  • Hi Donver

    Glad to hear you are doing well.

    Xx

  • Ty Ashley xx

  • Hi donver

    Just saw this & if you keep putting up pics of your fantastic handsome boys , I am not going to be able to reply , I do read what you have put but two busy admiring them !

    Oh they are so lovely no wonder you are proud :-)

    Pleased to see you are doing well :-/

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Hi and ty xx they are both little handsome buggers x they may break a few hearts when they grow up :) x I am so very proud of them both x My therapist said I should choose someone to be a role model so I can be inspired to turn my life around. What better inspiration do I need x No matter what life brings they wake up each day and start it like it was there first and live it like it was there last x Ty again Im feeling pretty good x Hope all is well your end x Donna x

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