Hi Everyone, I'm a 29 year old male. When I was about 21 years old I had my first real girlfriend and a lot of times when we were dating I used to have to go to the toilet and be sick to stress/anxiety. The feeling would come on and once it started I never found a way of controlling it. This of course then became a real problem because I would then become stressed/anxious about the vomiting happening in advance of any date. I went to the doctors and got the usual -"take a few deep breathes and think of a happy place....."- yeh great thanks!!! If it was that easy I wouldn't be in this scenario. In the end I approached my dad because it was out of control and he was shocked and explained he had the same problem when he was younger with a particular girl. In the end the problem was solved by the relationship ending and me moving on to other things. I've has the odd girlfriend since and no repeated problems. No other situation or life experience/issue since this episode has caused me to vomit or feel that bad.
Fast forward 8 years now to the present day. About a year ago I started a new high pressure job in one of the UK's biggest companies. The first 10 months were stressful but I got through with little work/life balance issues. In the last two months I have taken on a new role with increased responsibility. In addition, I also have two new bosses who are putting a fair amount of pressure on me. One boss in particular is very challenging and I struggle to figure him out. I do not consider him to be a great people person and other people in my team feel the same. He has an effect on me that really gets under my skin but most of my colleague/pier group seem to cope fine with him which makes me think the problem is with me. All of a sudden my vomiting problem has returned. I'm waking up early in the morning and my mind is racing at 100mph. I tend to get to sleep fine but then wake up early. I try to calm myself down but there is little time in the morning to relax because I have to get up and get out the door to start the day. I think I've vomited/retched 6 or 7 times in the last few weeks before work. I'm also starting to lose weight because I'm losing my appetite. Personal life is becoming really challenging because I don't want to make any plans because I'm not a great person to be around at the moment.
I have asked for some help and spoke to a counsellor over the phone. The counsellor thinks things will get better after a while because I'm only two months into the new situation. They have offered a few face to face counselling sessions but asked me to see how I go over the next little while before coming back to them. My biggest worry is that I know I could not find a solution to the problem when I was 21 and had to remove myself from the situation to solve it. I'm concerned about this because it could have a big impact in my career leaving at such an early stage and it would make feel like I have failed, couldn't cope etc. I also feel this would really effect my confidence moving forward. The longer I try to fight it the more chance of me melting down publicly at work which would not be a good legacy to leave behind. Hope that doesn't sound shallow from a career perspective? There are probably a few different triggers (new boss, new role, putting pressure on myself, fear I'm not smart enough for the role etc.) bit right now I'm feeling like I'm sliding into a very dark space and I just want to be normal again.
Not sure if anyone else has had a similar experience and would like to offer any advice on how to deal with the situation? Any advice would be appreciated because it feels like I'm losing control of the situation.