Terrible health Anxiety, fibromyalgia

Hi to all! I am new to this forum. Two months ago my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma. I tried to be extra strong for him but after about a week my body began having severe digestive issues, including pain in my upper right stomach, heartburn, diarrhea and constipation. I am SO anxious over all of this and too scared to go to the doctor because I have convinced myself that I have something seriously wrong with me. My family and counsellor said it's all anxiety related due to watching Dad suffer. I am extremely close to him and he has been my rock. Now my fibromyalgia has kicked in and I can barely function.My husband is NO support and makes my anxiety worse. He becomes very condescending and belittles me. I feel trapped and very scared. Any support would be appreciated. 😯


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11 Replies

  • Hi JanElaine, Fibromyalgia is yet another disorder that can't be seen or felt by others. I've had it for 30 years. Actually, anxiety & fibro go hand in hand. Stress being the number one precursor. It is always wise to see your doctor when under intense stress. I am sorry that your dad is so ill but now is the time for you to stay strong, to stay afloat. When I lost my father years ago through an accident, my heart was broken, he too was my strength. Right now this is about you and your dad and making his time with you memorable. That closeness you two have with give him peace.

    I'm sorry your husband doesn't see to be able to support you at this time. Nothing is worse than being belittled and condescending by another. I so understand your feelings of being trapped, scared and overwhelmed that your anxiety is soaring. We can't always count on others to be there in times of crisis, but we can count on ourselves. Keep using the forum for support and venting at this time. Use meditation and deep breathing daily. Sending you "gentle hugs" x

  • Thank you for your support and wise words of wisdom. I am so sorry about the sudden death of your dad; God must give us the strength to carry on andfind joy again. I have had Fibromyalgia for 28 years also. A long road, full of times of wonderful remission, but it has really come back since I turned 50, eight years ago. The problem is this: I am too scared to go to the doctor! I went a few months ago for my prescription refills and had complete blood work 18 months ago when I was having other concerns. Each time it gets harder to the point that I am being irrational. I have ever a 12 year old still and am soooo afraid of dying and leaving her. 😢

  • Well JanElaine, I guess we have both put in our time with Fibro. It is a rough journey not only because of the pain but the fact that no one understands it. (Just like anxiety) Through this all, I've learned a lot about myself and how strong I really am. I've learned to say the word "no" when feeling bad. Other times I've pushed knowing I would suffer the consequences the next day. It's become my life and when I look around, it's not that bad.

    I know how seeing a doctor always makes us anticipate something else may be wrong. But somehow we have to march on. The best way of being there for your daughter is taking care of YOU. That one took me a long time to accept. Take care, nice meeting you! Agora

  • Thank you! Yes, I need to take care of myself for my daughter. I will hold on to that thought. Take care!

  • Magnesium glycinate helps with anxiety and is really good for fibromyalgia.

  • I do take a powdered supplement called CALM which is mainly magnesium. I need to take it diligently! Thanks

  • Hi JanElaine, I am so sorry to hear about your father's illness. My mum had a stroke a few months ago and never recovered. It was a very stressful and upsetting time and isn't something you get over quickly. I have had some similar symptoms to you, including rapid heart beat, palpitations and chest pain. I am seeing the dr because I find it hard to believe it's all due to stress but it is a fact that stress and anxiety can cause so many extreme and frightening symptoms. Please see the dr as he/she will be able to help. As someone else mentioned meditation is definitely beneficial.

    I really hope you get through this sad time as best you can, from experience it isn't easy but you will come through it. Keep telling your husband calmly and quietly that you really need his support, hopefully he will realise he needs to listen and put you first. There are always plenty of caring people on HU who will listen and offer advice if you need it.

  • Thank you so much. 😚

  • Have either of you tried acupuncture? I know of a holistic doctor who people swear by. I don't want to be given more meds. I am already on 2. Also, unfortunatelyone of them is xanax. Is anyone on anxiety meds?

  • Hi Molly! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. We all know that someday we will lose our parents, but we certainly aren't prepared for it and the shock and sadness is surreal. It is so hard to watch them suffer; has your mom passed away or is she also suffering greatly from her stroke? I know I should not be thinking about myself right now, but the reality of our own mortality causes me to be more than anxious. I am consumed with fear which is making my physical symptoms so much worse! As mentioned before my husband is never a support, he makes me feel worthless. Do you have a supportive husband? We have been married 37 years and I tried every which way to improve our relationship but he is who he is and he has to change. I feel so helpless and trapped. I need to go to the doctor to get help and reassurance I don't want to burden my kids. I have a phobia of doctors and the 'what ifs?" Any advice would be appreciated. Hugs to all of you!

  • Hi JanElaine, I'm so sorry about your father. I too had the best dad in the world and was diagnosed with kidney failure. I also had the stomach problems and wasn't sure what it was. I later found out that anytime my dad would get sick.. I felt sick to my stomach. I knew that his illness wasn't going to get any better so all I had was this time to get to talk to him more. I would laugh with him and would take him through memory lane. I would talk to him about death and would ask him how he felt about it. He would tell me that he was ready and was excited to see his parents, brothers and sister that had left this world to be with God. We would pray together all the time. JanElaine, one time I asked my dad, "Dad can you come and tell me how it is in the other world" and he said yes. OMG! my dad passed away several years ago and I will tell you the amazing dream I had of him... but today all I ask for you to be close to your dad and try to comfort him as much as you can. Be strong for him because that's what he wants. He wants his little girl to be strong and not to be sick.

    Tell you husband nothing is going to belittle you! Because you are strong! You can survive anything that comes you way... I will keep in-touch with you.. :) Big Hug! and Girl hang in there... Big hug for your dad also.. :)

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