I have had bad anxiety and panic disorder with agoraphobia for about 2 years now and it really is rubbish! I'm always prodding my neck coz it feels like there is something in there and the hearing in my left ear has gone slightly and there is always a dull ache or throbbing sensation around it! Is that normal? I saw a therapist a while back and some of it was really helpful, but when she kept trying to relax my brain, i just can't seem to do it, my brain is working overtime trying to think of what she was asking me! Im doing better at going out than I used to be, it's just i am terrified of going too far! My brother seems to be the only one i can go out with coz he just makes me laugh, but he has just asked me to go on holiday with him and my niece and the thought absolutely terrifies me, i really love the place he has asked me to go to and i know i should face my fears and just go, but the idea just leaves me in shear terror and i dont want my niece to see that, but I really hate saying no to my brother!! Ahhhh I wish my brain would slow down!!

9 Replies

  • Hi Debs

    Sorry you are feeling anxious , I can relate with you on the fear of going out & you are doing really well , it was lovely to read your Brother seems to be able to help you with this as he makes you laugh , I have a friend who seems to be the best person with me when trying to get me to go places as she has the same effect , the ability to make me laugh even when i feel full of fear & that for some can be the best tonic there is

    Your Brother knows how you are & I imagine he wants you to join him on holiday because he wants to help & see you having a good time , he also knows how you suffer & this is not a concern to him , maybe you could see that & allow yourself to take this chance , going with what sounds the best brother there is

    I no you will be concerned about your niece , maybe seeing you like it , but you can pass it of if it were to happen , by saying you have headache or feeling dizzy , when they are young they seem to accept the simplest explanation & I imagine she would be so busy enjoying her self , it wouldnt concern her

    I hope you think about it , I no it would be a big step , but it could be a really enjoyable time , think about it people will support you if you decide you could do it

    I understand your brain feels like its working over time , mine feels a little the same today , you feel you could stand & scream , well I no I do at times

    When I am like this , I stop thinking , stop looking for the answers , & when I feel calmer then , I look at the situations , taking one at a time & when I am feeling more rational , it can be easier to see things more clearly

    Let us no what you do & keep talking




  • Thankyou so much for your response whywhy!

    It really does make you feel that you are not the only one in the world when you hear someone else going through the same thing! I wish it didn't wig me out so much! Ive got a pain at the top of my neck just worrying about it! I definitely know what you mean when you just want to stand and scream! I just get so frustrated by it! Especially when i was able to go places before with no panic at all! I think the biggest fear is the travelling! I hate travelling! That is the bit im afraid of most, just what if we get stuck in traffic and i cant get out or there is no accessible loo nearby if you need it! I just havent been that far in 2 years and i only really go out in my local area at the moment!

    Think i need to try and give my brain a rest for a little bit and come back to it with a rational head like you say!!

    Thanks again whywhy! I will be back soon to let you know how it goes!

    Love debs xxx

  • Just thought Debs , do you tend to clench your teeth or jaw with you anxiety as i no this can cause pain , or you could have a word with GP , I am sure it wont be anything ,, but would give you peace of mind

    Maybe , as you have such a lovely relationship with your Brother if you could talk to him about your fears of travelling & you did decide to go , between you , you could have a plan where you could make stops etc on the way

    But like you say , let your brain wind down see how you feel ,there is no pressure you have to do what you feel is best for you


  • Whŷ why glad you wrote that about clenching teeth because I do that and have been to Dentist Oral Clinic and all proved negative so it is the anxiety,Hopefully this will come out on the general screen because as you know I have only been able to private message ((((Hugs))))

  • Yeah im off to the dentist in a few weeks! Joy! Haha! And i think you could possibly be right about the teeth clenching! x

  • the loo thing i completely get and 100% understand, when my anxiety is bad its one of the most annoying things, normally I'm fine but i'm gonna go ahead and self diagnose that i get ibs brought on by anxiety! not many other people seem to get it or at least talk about it but it drives me frickin nuts sometimes, my time out the house is planned by where i know toilets are... fun!. i have a holiday booked in about 6 weeks and when i booked it all was ok and since i have had this 'blip' and now i'm half looking forward to it and half wishing i wasn't going at all, which is so silly as i was completely looking forward to it, anyhow i have a few weeks to chill out and it is with my bf, dad, step mum, aunt and uncle so i will literally be surrounded by people who understand and care so thats what i'm concentrating on. i didnt go away too far for many years but i find if you are going with people who understand and know what you are like then you will probably be fine and have a lovely time, i also find knowing i can come home potentially helps (depends if you are talking about going abroad or not)


  • Yes i totally know what you mean!! I swear i get ibs coz of anxiety!!! Its crazy!!! See yes im always glad that i can come home but i get these panic episodes when i am out and all i think is that i just want to be at home right now!! It's like home is my comfort blanket and im terrified of being away from it! x

  • Hi Debs, I know exactly where you are I have anxiety and reach most days I am never sick though even after I have just eaten, so I think yours anxiety I have

    had it many times,have had it today because of a blip with the doctor the slightest mole hill makes it a mountain,and as for going out I am the same.If you could go on Holiday it might help ,but know what you mean.((((((Hugs))))))

  • Thankyou so so much! You are totally right!! I do seem to make a huge mountain out of something so small!! Its crazy!! And when i eventually calm down i'm like what on earth was i worrying about! Tis really interesting that you are never sick tho! I never am either! I just have this terrifying feeling that im going to be! Good to know that that doesn't happen though even if you have just eaten! thanks


You may also like...