Why does life never give you a break

Sick of the way life treating me atm . Dont no why life can be so cruel . I have got so much crap going on making my anxixety worse and i was just learning to cope with it and try get on with life. Dont really have much support for my anxiety and family problems done cbt and my partner probaly sick of me talking about my anxiety and family problems no one really cares how i feel they dont understand anxiety or what ive been through in life im only 23 years of age. My mum alcholic she also suffers anxity and depression she took over dose last week failed atempt was in hosptial for a week think so selfish and so hurt that she could do that she got me worrying my self sick and then got my abusive dad who just comeing out prison turning up at my door who suffers mental health problems him self . He puts me on edge when ever he turns up and leaves me worrying for his mental health. Which life could make life be easier to deal with im sick of putting my self out to help people and every forgets about how im feeling

9 Replies

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  • Hang in there michellec, you're not alone xxx

  • Hi Michelle,

    I feel for you hun, i really do, Im a great believer in what doesnt kill us, makes us stronger.

    so you stay strong for yourself and no one else. We are here for you. xxxx Love and big warm hugs Cookie xxxx

  • Sorry you are having such a bad time. I am sure life will get better, but I no by experience that it is hard when you are in the midst of things. Have you spoke to your GP or thought about counselling. Anyway look after yourself, always here if you need someone to confide in

  • Oh God I know that feeling. Responsible for so many others you never get time to sort yourself out! You will cope (because we do) & things will calm down so you can concentrate on you again.

    I know it's easier said than done but do try to make a little time for yourself & DON'T feel guilty about it! You need to be at your best to deal with what's going on so it is important to look after you.

    Sorry you're having a hard time of it ,

    sending you hugs & strength xx

  • you have to put yourself first at times like this........this is not selfish because if you don,t have your own health you cannot help anyone else............time to make yourself no1....hope you find a way...........best wishes

  • Hi Michelle, you sure have a lot of pressure it your life and there seems to be a lot of people in your life who you care and worry for, but you have no control over how these people live their lives unfortunately. This might sound selfish but some people can't be helped. I think you need to start looking after yourself more or you will become ill. I suffer bad anxiety at times which is linked with my PTSD. From my experience anxiety is like a spiral, it takes just one bad thought or negative feeling and then every bad thought seems to jump in and the negativity multiplies. I have identified a number of things which make anxiety worse, which include alcohol, caffeine, any stimulant really makes me overthink and gives me all the symptoms you have. I find exercise helps a lot, particularly group circuits or boxercise etc.Helps get rid of the restlessness and releases good endorphins.

    Take care Michelle.

  • Hello Michelle,

    I agree with CHRISZAJA's comment about putting yourself first. Clearly you love your parents ... but honestly, they are being totally unfair to you. As your mother has recently been in hospital, and your father has recently been in prison, let me assure you that they will both have been put in touch with people who can help them with their 'issues', on a professional level. Actually I used to work in a prison, and I can tell you that the on-going help that ex-prisoners receive, via the probation service etc is phenomenal! Similarly your mother will have been given the option of receiving support from the hospital's psychology/pschiciatric dept.

    I'm a lot older than you Michelle (I'm 63) and I had very 'controlling' parents: so I can relate to your situation. When I was 23 I left home, to put physical distance between them and me, so that I was free to lead my own life. I want to emphasise that you only get one chance at 'life' ... your 20s and 30s are particularly important times, and you need to make the most of those years, as basically it's all 'downhill' once you turn 40! (Don't believe any of this "life begins at 40" nonsense because it's simply not true ... for the majority of people: once you hit 45-ish your energy depletes; your waistline expands; your chances of landing a good job diminish; and oh those wrinkles and grey hair, LOL!) Obviously you want to keep in touch with your folks ... but you must make sure that all contact is on YOUR terms: this business of turning up at random and lumbering you with additional anxiety is simply not on. (It almost seems like a role-reversal situation: your mum and dad are approaching you with their problems as if you are their parent!)

    You mention that you were just beginning to cope with your own anxieties ... that's great: you really need to try and get back to how you were, and go forward without the additional stress and worry from other people. If you don't feel strong enough to be 'firm' with them, is there any chance that your partner can speak to them and ask them not to bother you in the way that they have been doing?

    Anyway sweetie ... best of luck: and I do hope things will start to pan out OK for you. Take care.

  • Thanks every for your replys they are really helpful and true and postive and thats really nice warm comment cookster thanks :). Im feeling bit more postive and optimistic about way my life can lead thanks . I done cbt in march time and my support worker gave the same advise put them into goals. about cutting my family off more and not to carry everybody weight on my shoulders and to stop running after family members. I just find it hard not to worry and carry alot of guilt if not helping them but just put all my engery into them leave my self anxious wreck and feeling deflated and down. Just got so wrapped up things .i forgot my own life and goals was supposed to keep up. I with lm going to try have more time for my self put my engery into me and my 4 year old son whos my world. x x x

  • Hi holly i dont really go to my doctors much i did go was put on meds citapram what made my anxiety worse for me to scared to take meds . i went for cbt it did help but find it hard to stick to my goals rexlation etc just feel im on go all the time i help my sister out alot when my son at nursery. who also is a anxiety suffer and single parent and she only has me for support . I would like to try councling i have lot stuff and questions issues i cant shurgg off. I have anxiety coures and self assertiveness course fingers cross can help me . im doing it in september at womens center . I find bikeing and jogging help pick me up like excerise thanks

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