Wondering when life will give me a break

[highflyer]

Hi all, I'm new here. I was diagnosed with quite severe depression and anxiety last December, my life is like a never ending drama series (like something from a soap opera, seriously). I was fine for a few months, I felt a little bit more like myself. But recently my anxiety has returned, it's affecting everything, especially eating and I can barely concentrate for more than five minutes, not great when I have A Levels next week. My mental state has hit an all time low after having to see over the course of this weekend, not one but two ex's who I was in extremely dysfunctional relationships with. Just when I thought everything was settling down, I've never felt more alone. A kind ear to listen would be great, friends are no help and family seem bored of my constant problems.

[Agora1]

We are all hear to listen highflyer. On this forum you are never alone in what you are feeling or going through. Talk soon!

[highflyer in reply to Agora1]

thank you, I feel really isolated. I just dread night times, having to be alone stuck with my own thoughts

[Agora1 in reply to highflyer]

highflyer, hopefully you won't feel as alone interacting on this forum. It's one of the best I've seen. Everyone is so caring and comforting to each other. When down and out we all need to be surrounded by people who really and truly understand what we are going through. You are right in that family and friends don't have a clue and the stress of that feeds into our anxiety.

It's funny that you mentioned your life is like a soap opera. I have often thought of that myself in my own life. Only in a soap opera or a fiction book can a life be filled with so much drama.

Mornings have always been the worse for me upon awakening. I guess the fear of what the day holds starts the what ifs going. Is that what happens to you in the evening. Do you have trouble sleeping as well? Are you in therapy or on medication? Sorry, so many questions, it helps everyone know at what stage you are at at this time.

[highflyer in reply to Agora1]

That's lovely to hear, this is the nicest forum I've come across so far. People often say to me, 'Gosh that would only happen to you', and it's true, always in the wrong place, wondering what I've done to deserve such an unjust coincidence that again I feel would only happen to me.

Mornings used to be terrible, I sometimes find myself stuck in dreams, about times when I was happier say or dreaming of an alternative life; waking up then becomes painfully sobering, a reminder of everything I'm missing and want. Going to sleep is worse perhaps, I find myself immersed in fanatical thoughts, over-thinking everything bad in my life and imagining more positive alternatives; only to then realise that these will never materialise.

I was offered medication, but I decided to turn it down, it proved the best decision at the time as my anxiety and depression subsided a little. I've had counselling in the past, been offered CBT, but again, I feel as though I don't have the time. I live in a rural area and most practises are over an hour away so it's difficult

[Agora1 in reply to highflyer]

I hear you. It sounds like you do have a lot going on in your life which is presently overwhelming you. Over time, all the things we have missed or want to do seem unattainable. It is important to let go of thoughts, desires and wishes of what cannot be right now. We need to live in the present which in itself will calm our mind and body.

Overthinking/reminating over the past is defeating. We have done nothing wrong to deserve this in our lives. But there is a reason that things do happen that we cannot see right now.

Medication is not always necessary or the answer to our problems but just a crutch to help us through the dark times. Counseling can help but so can reading books on how to help yourself work. And now you have us here at the forum. Weekends and holidays are a little slow but once you start interacting with others, you will pick up a lot of good advice as well as meeting people who really care. You will be okay, you are never alone.

[Evanescenceclueless]

No one is ever alone. You may not see them but people do notice others. They may not talk to you but they don't hate you either.

There are also places like this that truly understand what you are going through.

Life is crap sometimes and seems to throw everything at you.

You have to think positively. Time will move on and then you will look back and think it all as just one small event.

Study helps. But do take breaks.

As for your ex's. That's exactly what they are. Be polite but push the memories away. The past as they say is in the past.

The now is all you need to concentrate on. Think each movement through before doing something and always do your best. It is all anyone should ask of you.

Oh and ignore those with negative words. They have no brain what so ever (or sympathy). They are not worth anyone's time or energy. Hard when its family I know but sometimes energised water IS thicker than blood. Find those that praise you and ignore those that want you to fail.

You know you're better than that and can do anything you put your time and energy to. (Even if that takes a few attempts lol)

You will get through this as time stops for no one. Never look back and carry on as you mean to. Never be afraid to be you. Time is too short to think about crap.

Turn your thoughts to all the good things that happened that day. Count them and pat yourself on the back. Everyone deserves that.

[Finglas-Boy]

Hi highflyer.I wa always doing things @ 100 mph. The result was I rarely reached my destination. I still do things far to fast but find that concentrating on one thing, instead of juggling all the balls @ once, brings dividends. The only thing that should matter to you is your exams. They don't seem that far off but concentrate in short bursts rather than cramming coz that will send you into overdrive. Try studying 2 hrs on then 1 hr off. Exams are a stressful time at the best of times. But stay in touch via here as everyone understands & will give the right advice.

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Hello....I've written a lengthy reply to your post, but reread your post....You say "friends are no good"....what did you mean? Do they feel like situational friends to you and are only around when times are good with you?