Anxiety Support
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I make new Girlfriend Anxious


Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 2 months. She is perfect.

Weve been taking things slow and both of use are happy!

I suffer and have suffered all my life from low self esteem and anxiety so can understand where she is coming from when i tell you this.

Ive known she suffers herself from anxiety. She hasnt been in a relationship for 4 years but said when she met me she was so happy and drawn to me it didnt worry her at all. We always went out in groups as well as seeing each other once a week on our own.

About a month ago she started being sick, nothing seemed to cause it apart from her anxiety she said. It wasnt nessesarily being sick when i was with her although she was a few times in my prescence. She hasnt thrown up probobly in about a month now although she has cancelled seeing me quite alot in the past 3 weeks and it started to worry me and make me anxious! but we have kept up an amazing relationship regardless and both couldnt be happier.

Last night she admitted she gets very anxious around me for no reason or reasons, she says, she doesnt know. I dont know about any past relationships shes been in or why shed be like this as all ive done is love care and support her and she knows this!

My concern is i dont want it to effect her anymore or our relationship.

What do i do to reassure her im here for her whatever and whenever other than telling her this?

6 Replies


Sorry youre both suffering at the min, anxiety is horrible............. Im not the best at relationship problems but I think prob the best thing is to try and sit down with each other and have a really honest conversation about what is going on, perhaps discussing past experiences if need be so you have a better understanding of each other and the best way forward............

Hope you feel better soon, let us know how you get on!!


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It can be a good thing to be in a relationship where you can both understand each other , but also it can sometimes cause anxiety for each of you as you are aware or can over think what the other is thinking or feeling

I would just let her no you understand , & like you said you dont no what has happened in the past , but if ever she needs to talk about it , you wont judge but be there for her as you care so much , you would love to be able to help anyway you can

Let her no what ever she wants & feels comfortable with , you are more than happy to go at her own pace , the main thing is you want her to be happy & no she is loved & can trust you

At some stage I think it would be really good if you could sit & have a talk , it will help if you could no where each is coming from with their anxieties & fears

Dont no if this will help , but good luck , i hope this works as you sound like a lovely couple , let us no :)




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The best part of a relationship that is in the early stages is the getting too know the person that has drawn your attention.

Try and find out the reasons why she has just become sick and if she has any idea why, would it be possible for Her too visit the doctor, their may be good reasons why she is under the weather.

You say she is calling off dates, so you need to ask why, is it to do with you being ill or is she having problems at her work, or family.

If you are so keen with being with her would you like to move the relationship on and start incorporating her is your life, friends and family. It may be what she wants and is feeling you are not into a more meaningful relationship.

You really also need to find out what relationships she has at the moment and find out what her interests are and both start doing more things together and you both should find out if you are suited to each others ways .


Would you consider it to be a relationship problem? or simply just because she hasnt wanted a relationship in 4 years for reasons unknown, she maybe getting scared its going well.

She said she hasnt liked anyone as much as me before. Shes the happiest shes ever been and there isnt even the tiniest bit of unhappiness in her. But everything going so well is freaking her out!



We were friends about 2/3 months before we became close, we enjoy cinema, similar music, we used to do alot of things in groups together but people are busier latly.

The sickness.. were not sure.. she went to the docter and hes sent her to an allegry clinic next month. I try and suggest things, ive made her aware i will always do whatever she feels like etc and just tried to be as supportive as possible. If shes cancelled i havnt made a big deal out of it because she always asks if im annoyed! ive said no! i had an idea she was feeling awkward about us. other than cancelling dates.. nothing else would suggest a problem as we are in constant contact all day.



Good a relationship, like this is rare I suppose she may be worried of what had gone before always try and be there for her, will be good in future. Have a nice long chat, not just about your worries. You need to life within each others lives


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