Whats wrong with me?

Im 19 years of age.

I find myself having bad panic attacks when i am in crowded places such as shopping and even tesco.

I am constanley doing thing on impulse i.e having a tatoo having all hair cut off moving room around 5 times a week.

I often feel paranoid and on edge.

I have been in a relationship for 3 years for the first 2 years things were good we use to see eachother 3-4 times a week but the last year has had so many ups and downs. My partner goes out often which I feel anxtious about and only see's me once a week on a saturday. When I have given him the ultimatum before he has always choose me and said he would calm down but never has. Recentley things have got bad and when I confronted him about it he said he think its best for us to call it a day and that he doesnt know wether he wants to be with me he says i have changed. I begged him to not finish it and things were left at that. However the last couple of days I have been devastated and having really worry thoughts. Im having bad anxiety attacks and being very snappy. I know that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore but i honestly cant live without him. I cant breath when we argue and end up deliberaly physically hurting myself i.e pulling out my hair, straching all skin of my wrist and hands.

I also have problems and work and dred going in.

I have tried taking Calms and they havent worked. I suffer from slow wave sleep disorder so I sleep walk and have terrors almost every night resulting in having around 5 hours sleep.

Depression runs in my family, both nans suffered very bad with it one had to have shock treatment and the other had to go in a mental home. Mother also suffers very bad with it.

I have lost all friends I had and have only family who I cant open up to.

I dont feel wanted by anyone and feel very depressed and lonely, I dont know what to do im having bad thoughts about my life.

Whats wrong with me and what can I do?

5 Replies

oldestnewest
  • HI PLEASE go and see your doctor as soon as possible you need someone to talk to is there a crisis team at your nearest hospital phone them tomorrow dont suffer like this you are very young and you can be better with the right help please let us know x

  • As Milo said you need to see someone quickly so you can stop things from getting worse. You need to tell them exactly what you have put on here and someone will help you. Please dont think you will end up with shock treatment etc because things have changed so much over the years. If you go to your GP then you need to demand an appointment and they will give you one, if they dont ask to speak to someone privatley and explain your situation and a GP will see you. Please dont torture yourself and seek help.

  • Josie, as the others have said, PLEASE go to your doctor as soon as possible, you do NOT have to go through this alone! And, as Woody said, things have change a huge amount since your nan's time, you are far more likely to be offered counselling and/or tablets nowadays. But PLEASE speak to someone soon.

    Remember, the Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you can ring them or email them - go to:

    samaritans.org/talk_to_some...

    It's cheaper if you can find the number of a branch local to you - there's a link on that page - than to ring the national number but, please, talk to someone soon.

    Good luck, hun, and do let us know how you're getting on and that you've got some help.

    Love

    Rose xx

  • Hi JosieMx

    Panick attacks are not nice plus problems with your boyfriend are not helping you.So it s understandeble the way u feel.It s sounds like also that this type of problems are running in your family too.Sou probably grew up surrounded by lovely but anxious people and this shaped the way you react to situations.Go and ask for help u are not alone.Write on this site anytime u want somebody will always give u support if needed.

    Best wishes

  • A few years ago I was in the middle of an anxiety crisis when a boyfriend I loved very deeply left me. It was the most painful thing I have ever had to go through and I thought the pain would never end. For me, it took a long time to get over it (about 2-3 years) and even now I'm not 100% over it and still have bad dreams about it etc. It was because I was in such a vulnerable state at the time that it hit me so hard. I've never had the same kind of problems during break-ups before.

    I strongly suggest you do what I didn't do! Go to see someone - your GP, a counsellor, phone anxiety UK to find out what they offer - and talk about it. Talk about the breakup and all of the problems you were having previously. When I was in a similar position I told myself I didn't want to let the pain beat me so I told myself I had to keep going, I wasn't allowed to cry etc, but this just ended with me never sleeping, breaking down into tears constantly, having terrible panic attacks and ending up a nervous wreck with a lovely long list of physical illnesses brought on by the prolonged anxiety. I made it so much worse for myself and if I could go back now the one thing I would do was give myself space to grieve and find someone to talk to.

    Make sure you give yourself space in every day to mourn your loss. It's natural to mourn and to feel pain and the emotions, given time and space, will naturally resolve themselves. In the meantime, pseaking to a doctor and counsellor will help you address the underlying problems that mad eyou vulnerable in the first place.

    I hope you feel better soon.

You may also like...