Im 19 years of age.
I find myself having bad panic attacks when i am in crowded places such as shopping and even tesco.
I am constanley doing thing on impulse i.e having a tatoo having all hair cut off moving room around 5 times a week.
I often feel paranoid and on edge.
I have been in a relationship for 3 years for the first 2 years things were good we use to see eachother 3-4 times a week but the last year has had so many ups and downs. My partner goes out often which I feel anxtious about and only see's me once a week on a saturday. When I have given him the ultimatum before he has always choose me and said he would calm down but never has. Recentley things have got bad and when I confronted him about it he said he think its best for us to call it a day and that he doesnt know wether he wants to be with me he says i have changed. I begged him to not finish it and things were left at that. However the last couple of days I have been devastated and having really worry thoughts. Im having bad anxiety attacks and being very snappy. I know that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore but i honestly cant live without him. I cant breath when we argue and end up deliberaly physically hurting myself i.e pulling out my hair, straching all skin of my wrist and hands.
I also have problems and work and dred going in.
I have tried taking Calms and they havent worked. I suffer from slow wave sleep disorder so I sleep walk and have terrors almost every night resulting in having around 5 hours sleep.
Depression runs in my family, both nans suffered very bad with it one had to have shock treatment and the other had to go in a mental home. Mother also suffers very bad with it.
I have lost all friends I had and have only family who I cant open up to.
I dont feel wanted by anyone and feel very depressed and lonely, I dont know what to do im having bad thoughts about my life.
Whats wrong with me and what can I do?