I NEED ADVICE

I RUN A CHARITY BRANCH AND HAVE HELPED SOMEONE FINANCIALLY A LOT. THE LADY ASKED FOR HELP YET AGAIN. I AGREED BUT AS WE ARE SHORT OF FUNDS I TOLD THE LADY THAT OUR FUNDS ARE NOT UNLIMITED. SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD GET SOME CHARITY BOXES INTO PLACES FOR ME AND LATER THAT EVENING ASKED FOR 10 OF THESE BOXES TO DISTRIBUTE. NOW SHE WILL NOT TELL ME WHERE SHE HAS PLACED THE BOXES OR IF INDEED SHE HAS PLACED THEM ANYWHERE. SHE JUST WILL NOT SPEAK OR WRITE TO ME. EVERYONE I HAVE CONTACT WITH LETS ME DOWN. I HELP PEOPLE AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT GET TREATED LIKE THE PROVERBIAL IN RETURN. I AM AN ANXIOUS PERSON ANYWAY BUT THESE SITUATIONS ARE MAKING ME SUICIDAL. HOW DO OTHERS COPE?

10 Replies

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  • All you can do is learn by your mistakes. You sound like a very caring person and people can take advantage of you I know I have also been in this position. It is difficult to sat no but the more you do it it will become easier. I think you should contact your doctor it seems you could do with some help. Take care

  • THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS AND I APPRECIATE YOUR KIND ADVICE.

  • Sounds like things are getting out of control Kathy. You're obviously an extremely caring person who likes to help people, probably putting their needs before your own, but your priority MUST be yourself, if you are to help others. Have you spoken to your GP about your feelings?

  • Thanks so much for replying to my appeal for advice. I haven't seen the dr but will do shortly. xx

  • Next time you see her and there will be a next time I'm sure, just say NO xxx won't make you feel any better but it will put her in her place. She is probably selling them on cheap or keeping the lot xxxx

  • Thanks for your reply. I appreciate you taking the time to advise. xx

  • I was an assistant to a minister. We were part of a city social service with funds for people in crisis. Sometimes it was hard to tell if we were being ripped off...other times it would become obvious. The minister would rarely turn people away... be'd offer rides to people asking for money for a taxi or busfare... The minister told me that you never know if people are telling the truth. He said what is important is that people know there is help available.

    Are you doing this work alone? If so try and find some volunteers to help. And everyone who does this kind of service needs to take time out for selfcare. Helping others can be rewarding but it takes a lot out of you. Remember to rest, reflect and recharge.

    Blessing and best to you,

    Tamra

  • Many thanks. I appreciate your kind advice. xx

  • You are doing a very worthwhile job and I am sure you have helped many many people. Unfortunately there are always some who take the mickey. Its not your fault its just the way some people are this day and age. Don't stop being the wonderful person you are but you do need to stop this lady! Can you get any help with her?

    I agree also that you need to make sure you are ok. Treat yourself as well as you treat others and you won't go far wrong. A hug for you.

    Bev xx

  • Thank you Bev. Your response is much appreciated. xx

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