Hope I'm not alone

I've just joined this forum and read some of the questions and blogs and can really relate to the symptoms and feelings people have.

I lost my best friend 4 years ago we were only 20 at the time. She was terminally ill with a brain tumor and I wasn't told she was going to die. I nievely thought she was going to get back to her normal self but only looking back now can I see she was getting sicker day by day. After she died I hated the thought of going out anywhere even to the local shop. I would break down in tears and panic so needless to say I never went out much. My friends mam took me to see a councillor at the hospice where she died and I went for several sessions and felt an improvement. I made myself go to the shops even if it was just to drive there and turn around and come home again Atleast I'd done it.

I'd say about 6 months ago I've noticed myself becoming more anxious, to the point I totally freak out if I'm surrounded by a crowd or if a place is busy I have to leave. I would be willing to try therepy and only choose medication as a last resort. I just want to be that person again who can just go out for tea or a night out with my boyfriend without over thinking it or frightened that something's going to happen while I'm out. I've only had 1 panic attack and that was the worst experience of my life.

Hope this helps someone to realise your not alone like I thought I was. I'm booking an appointment with my doctor next week.


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5 Replies

  • It must be terrible losing a dearest friend. As you say, you are most certainly not alone feeling the way you do and there are many ways for you to help yourself get better.

  • Hiya,

    welcome, many of us have lost someone special in our lives too, so I hope they can write something better than me about that.

    Ask your doctor;

    for maybe berievement councilling to start, and after that some CBT therapy for the anxiety.

    Wishing you well



  • Good advice B

    Now is that really you? And who is the lovely lady by your side?

  • I had bereavement council long when I first lost my friend. It's more anxiety I'm struggling with now and I don't know why. I always think the worst of every situation, maybe that's due to not being prepared for my friends death.

  • Yes, maybe there is still some stuff stuck aswell. You must of loved her very much.

    Wishing you well



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