I have been phased back into work and doing a few hours. Coming home on the bus lurking in the background was the anxiety trying to kick in. I wanted to scream jump off the bus but thought hey i am not going to give into this.
Got home felt drained tired etc. Went to bed last night really tired but had a great sleep for once. This morning i have got up my head is full of negative thoughts :(.
I started to feel a mini panic coming on and then shooting to the front of my mind is the thought of going back worki Monday.
Although i am making progress i do not feel i will be able to work full time and the school in which i work will not have part-time staff.
Sorry for the moan just feel like i marching full steam then get knocked back again.
Hope everyone here is having a blessed day hoping you find peace.
Have a great weekend
Hugs
Love Seyi xxxx
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seyi
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13 Replies
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I know how hard it is getting back to work and full time is hard. Have the slowest return you can to give yourself time. I think your doing so well to try it. You coukld ask about job share as i think council jobs have to consider this and be family friendly. Xx
Hi Seyi
You have done really well , & have come such a long way
I can understand your thoughts & fears , try & take each day as it comes , don't think to far ahead or I find that is when the fear really kicks in
Thanks i know i am making progress but the thought of returning to work full time scares the hell out of me. I feel scared legs shake and as if i cannot control my thoughts.
Dont get me wrong i love working with children have been in this profession on and off for years its just the physical side of how i feel.
I suppose i need to take one day at a time and not rush ahead thinking of whats ahead.
Sometimes you feel all the hard work is in vain but have no choice but to carry on.
Hope your doing well. Hows the tablets going hope you are finding it alot easier. Remember will do you more good than harm :).
Smiling funny how we can give advise but find it hard to put into pratice.
Have a good weekend thanks for the support as always whywhy.
I trick my mind , telling it I will do it for today only & then see what I feel like the next day
If I feel I have to do something for ever , then that's when I start to get like you feel
You can give this a go & if it doesn't work , you can always look at other things
I do find thinking this way , takes the pressure of me
Don't ask about the statins , I have been taking them had to stop , its not in my mind , have been getting side effects , one is I already get migraines , but have been having one to 2 a week , I have been told they can do this , especially if you suffer from them already
So I cant live like that either , I will have to go back & see what else can be done
Yes you are so right , we can tell others the right thing , but its always harder trying to do it
Keep letting us no how you go on , I am hoping this all works out for you as you deserve it
Yes I shall have a word with GP , it has been bad & I have stuck it out for a few weeks
Thank you for your kind words
xxx
Hi Seyi,
Yes, dont think about all that future stuff, focus on the now !!! the future will take care of itself, you dont have to do anything. When we realise this, we get space to relax.
Working with children, is a great place to be as they give love unconditionally, use that, the smiles the enthusiam they have to recharge yourself so you can go on.
Then rather than work it becomes play, and a good loving exchange, where both get something out of the situation.
Lots of smiles, really do heal us, and when we feel that, we realise that the anxiety, might come back occassionally, but because we know its not dangerous, we can smile at it too, and it disolves.
Dont look on it as a chore that you have to succeed in, just do it as practice, for getting yourself better, and you get paid as a bonus
whywhy has said some very wise things above.
We always have the choice to walk out whenever we like, and knowing this allows us to not need to anymore.
No need to try and control things either, just let everyone do what they do, and float on by, you can do it.
Your physical strength will return gradually, again, be patient give it time, and smile, be kind to yourself, and others.
Thank you so much for the lovely replies i am so blessed to have beautiful understanding people.
Thanks for the encouragement and help make negative into positive thoughts.
God Bless you all
Hugs
Love Seyi xxxx
Hi Seyi,
Hang in there! I felt like that when I first went back. It's horrible having the ups and downs and wondering if it is worth it, but just take each day as it comes. I'm still sleeping when I get in, so understand that feeling of not being able to manage full-time, but I've gone from managing an hour at a time, to a day at a time and suddenly realise that I'm actually now thinking about a week at a time. It's hard work getting back so feel bad...you're getting there and have come a long way.
Thanks for you comment really do appreciate what you are saying.
I am doing 9.30am until 12.15pm at the moment but still find i get uneasy and feel a little off balance and still panic a little. Wow congratulations your making wonderful progress and hope it continues. I wish you luck with going to work the week i admire your determination.
I am being phased in over 4 weeks so maybe next week will try a full day and see how it goes.
What upsets me is one moment your plodding along then crash i had vertigo at first then started to get panic attacks and servere anxiety. I wish one day for us to recovery so we can carry on with a normal life.
Well done Seyi, hope all goes well for you. I've just had a weeks leave after 2 weeks back at work on a phased return working alternate days, this week I think i'm working all week! Really need to try and get back into a routine, can't say i'm looking forward to it!
Thank you Seyi, not feeling so positive today, think I have come back down to earth with a bump! Had a busy day yesterday so couldn't sleep and decided to take a sleeping pill around midnight, feel worse this morning! I suppose we should expect days like this. Hope you are coping well today, thinking of you x
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Panic
Oh no
Having a bit of a down night :/
