Sadness

[Dolphfan47]

Trigger warning

Well I have made it to 19 days post op (hysterectomy) I still have my ovaries. I’m extremely depressed, sad, happy, in pain, angry, agitated, afraid relieved and more. I have so many feelings right now that it’s crazy. I don’t really have too many people to talk to other than here and my therapist so I can’t really process my feelings or even begin to understand why I am even feeling half of what I am feeling.. I have my follow up with my doctor on the 17th. I just needed somewhere to vent and try to process my feelings because i seriously feel like I am going to blow up. I’m just so over everything I am not sleeping at night still in a recliner because I’m a side sleeper.. Before I had my surgery I cleaned the table and the d.r. Now it’s destroyed and boxes are everywhere the table is covered and it makes me mad because it’s like no one cares I worked hard to keep that area cleaned because I was like while I am recovering I can come out here and work on my puzzles. The other people in my house sleep until 10 or 11 even 12 in the morning / afternoon expect me (not even a month from surgery) to get up with three kids 6, 3 and 2. (Only 1 is mine) feed them breakfast and take care of them. My son is being homeschooled so I also supposed to be doing that. The kitchen is out of control but again how am I supposed to do anything when I really can’t bend forward.. I fight with the idiot that lives in our basement over the lounge chair because she’s to damn lazy to get up and sit like a human being but again I’m the one who had surgery,, I just want to give up throw in the towel. No I’m not suicidal that I know of but sometimes I think it would be easier.. I’m just tired of being in pain and not appreciated. Ok I’m done venting

[CLB1125]

My suggestion is to call your dr's office, talk to the nurse and explain how you are feeling. I'm not positive because I had my ovaries removed too , but my emotions were all over the place to and was told because the hormones are involved, it's not uncommon for your moods to be affected. She should be able to help you or talk to the dr to find out.

I'm sorry that nobody is helping during your recovery. Shame on them. Don't be overdoing things because nobody will step up. Let it go. Your health and recovery is more important right now.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to CLB1125]

Thanks I am trying so hard to let everything go.. It’s just so hard I mean I just want to clean the damn d.r. all over again but I just get so tired and I’m limited because of the pain. I have my follow up appointment on the 17th with the dr so I’m hoping that she can answer some of my questions. I’m sure they will probably end up doing blood to get counts and I’m sure they will most likely put me on more meds yuck…

[SayNOtoPanic]

Dolphin, glad you are recovering but sorry you are struggling. I think it’s normal. Can’t imagine your hormones aren’t going wild and the major surgery recovery is not fun. You literally had a csection with extra work. Give yourself at least 8-10 weeks to feel up to do the physical stuff. Just keep venting. Ur not alone cause it’s easy to get extra anxious and stressed when people are slobs and it’s your roomies (relative or not). Make mini to do lists for yourself and take it easy. Try to do deep breathing when you see messiness or laziness and re direct your mind so you don’t take on the extra stress. Are you physically feeling better: wound and muscle etc. ?

[Dolphfan47 in reply to SayNOtoPanic]

Not really I’m still in pain like earlier today I got up from the bathroom didn’t do anything else and I had a sharp pain in my stomach and it’s been bothering me ever since.. I just wish I knew how to explain the pain on the inside.. I’m not sleeping like I should be so that is seriously messing with me too.. Thanks for the suggestion I will try to take a deep breath and just leave everything alone and try not to let things get to me..

[SayNOtoPanic in reply to Dolphfan47]

How are you feeling today Dolphin? It could be ur muscles from being cut in the abdominal area. Are you using any stool softeners, usually they prescribe them after. Sometimes they help with the trapped gases that cause the horrid stomach pains. 🙏🏻

[Dolphfan47 in reply to SayNOtoPanic]

I’m dealing yesterday morning I woke up a fever it was as high as 101 but I have been able to control it with ibuprofen and Tylenol. I don’t think it’s an infection because my incisions are not red or anything.. I was supposed to go to the drs tomorrow but I can’t get to the appointment because I have another appointment and we have to deal with the truck and car.. I do have my original follow up on the 17th though.. I am keeping an eye on everything else if anything else is concerning I will go to the ER my OB is an 1 away from me but I literally live about 5 minutes away from a hospital but it’s not a good one.. Thanks for checking up on me.

[SayNOtoPanic in reply to Dolphfan47]

Oh noooo that’s awful. Hope you feel better soon. Can you call the doctor and tell them what is going on maybe they will recommend antibiotic over the phone to start up just in case? I’m glad you’re near a hospital too. 🙏🏻keep us posted. Healing prayers.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Dolphfan47]

Dolphan

So much going on, I'm so sorry you are still feeling horrible.

I think you should call the Dr. about that temp if it persists.

I'm thinking the same as the others, hormones. Everything escalates when hormones are off.

It's so important to move around, maybe you can tidy up some small things and leave the rest for later?

Wow on the others living in the house. They sound very inconsiderate

Hope you feel better soon

❤️🐬

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks I’m hopeful that the fever has finally broke woke up this morning with no fever. Of course went to bed last night with one. It’s going away when I take the meds but come right back. I have a follow up with the dr that did my surgery on the 17th . Hopefully she can double check and make sure everything I am healing okay. I have decided that I am just going to chill and take it day by day I can do the top part of the dishwasher and I sit on a stool to do the bottom part of the dishwasher.. But I really only do that if I am up to it and I take it in shifts.. I also have a grabber to pick things up from the floor. I just don’t really care about the kids acting out if I’m watching them because I can’t really do that much so it is what it is. Now I have a new pain in my stomach about an inch from my belly button incision it’s a sharp pain it feels like a knife is being twisted and I have a small lump there so I’m afraid it’s either a hernia or scar tissue.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Dolphfan47]

Sounds like you should just leave the house as is and tend to that later. You are having a difficult time

Maybe you should call. Trying to get a Dr on the weekend isn't easy. It's good the temp comes down but now with this little lump who knows.

[Dolphfan47 in reply to Dolphin14]

Yeah I should but that’s the only thing keeping me stain right now.. I went to my pain Dr today and mentioned about the lump and he did say it could be anything but to definitely bring it up at my appointment on Monday. I just have to make it through the weekend..

[Dolphin14 in reply to Dolphfan47]

I hope the weekend goes well for you

[CosmicJerry]

Dolphin:

Good for you to keep pushing and trying to deal with all the craziness around you. Remember: your health always comes first!

There’s a book that I am reading about balancing emotions that I would highly recommend: “Coping with Cancer” by Elizabeth Cohn Stuntz. The book can be very helpful to anyone dealing with cancer and non-cancer issues. In the meantime be sure to find some alone time for yourself where you are the only focus. Keep charging!

DSCH

Dignity, Strength, Courage & Hope!