Feeling sad

[Dot_]

Life has been rough lately. I feel like I'm losing my grip on the pieces that make me me. I'm losing interest in my hobbies and friends. Work feels like it's dragging and my romantic life has plummeted.

I feel so alone and discouraged. They say they care, but when faced with the reality of my depression slump, I'm alone. I try communicating but I somehow say the wrong thing and become the bad guy. I just want to be understood and accepted again.

How can someone say they care and then dismiss your tears? It hurts. It hurts me and shames my vulnerability. It makes me want to push away and hide. I don't want to exist right now. I like living, but this isn't living. This is enduring displeasure, and for what? I guess just hold on until this passes. Until the people who make me feel belittled and hurt cycle their way out and away from my life. Then maybe I can get back to some normalcy.

[Spud-u-Like1982]

I truly, TRULY understand what you mean, as I am currently right there with you in the states you mention. Is it something to do with this time of year or something?

I've been finding myself sobbing to myself some nights because I have nothing. I'm 42 and I have nothing - I've not left any indelible mark on the world and my mind keeps going to dark places. I keep telling myself to fight on for my Parents and for my pets, but it really is a struggle.

I wish I could offer some sage like wisdom to you, but all I can impart is that I know EXACTLY how you are feeling, and that old cliché, you aren't alone, may be a cliché, but it's true.

I had lots of interests and hobbies and I adore Halloween, but all enthusiasm for everything has gone and I don't know how to get it back.

[LoveAmerica]

I am sorry that you are suffering so much. I understand. The more depressed I feel, the more I feel alone, misunderstood, and discouraged. I try not to be around people who are not loving and supportive. Prayer, therapy and being in a support group ( like N.A.M.I.) has helped me the most. Prayers🙏

[Dot_ in reply to LoveAmerica]

I've done therapy before e but have never been truly honest or consistent. I have recently started counseling back up again with the aim to be painfully honest. I'm only 2 sessions in. And honestly, I feel so much better and lighter after each one.

You're right to stay away from people who aren't loving/supportive. It's hard though when you're talking to someone of interest (potential partner vibes) and they aren't the most supportive. It feels terrible to want to share with someone who you are afraid may/do the wrong thing and turn it around on you. But I don't know how to seseverere that tie

[_FieldOfDreams_]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I very much feel what you're going through.

The way I'd describe the feeling is like leaves falling off the tree of life. Each one is a thing I used to love and I just have to watch them fall to the ground.

But lately, with help from communities like this, I've been able to take a more positive outlook. Now I look at it more like I'm in a winter and that the leaves aren't gone but simply need to be regrown. In some ways for me that's even better, to fall in love all over again with these things.

Also that is probably the cheesiest analogy I've ever made in my life. Sorry lol. On a more practical note please know you're never alone. There are always going to be people out there who understand and want to share in your life. Communities like this help a ton, and while I'm pretty new I've already felt better by spending time here. I really hope you start feeling better too.

[Dot_ in reply to _FieldOfDreams_]

That is a beautiful analogy. There's peace in accepting that things change or leave our lives to make room for growth/better. I like that a lot. It feels hopefully in all the right ways.

This community is truly a great support system. I come here when I'm at my lowest and am always grateful to be given support, even if I don't see the faces behind the support. It's nice to feel included