Feeling sad

[Suzhou]

Is it just me or will anyone have an ok day. Then when the night comes and even when you’re around people you just feel awful. Like you just want to cry yourself to sleep. This happens almost every night. My mom always say life is worth living. But she has no idea what it’s like to want to die constantly.

[lawdog]

Hummm sometimes it is not that one wants die, but more that one doesn't want to live the ways things are, or don't want to go to sleep the way one does.

So how does one change some of that?

This is the first time I have read a post from you, so I don't know if you have talked to anyone other than your Mother about your depression or fear?

Did something happen that started you to feel the way you do?

Please share and let members of this venue share their thoughts and support. What's happened? xxx

[Hidden]

What is one thing in life that has made you happy?

[Poodie]

Hi Suzhou.

How are you? I just read what you posted a month ago.

[Suzhou in reply to Poodie]

I’ve constantly had breakdowns like every four days but atm I haven’t cried for a little over a week. So I’m alright I guess. Tonight I’m just feeling weird but I’m chill. How are you doing?

[Poodie]

I am o k .

I am trying to keep busy. Sometimes it makes me feel better to accomplish something.

Is there any chance you could get into therapy? You deserve to be happy.

[Suzhou in reply to Poodie]

I’ve had a couple issues with therapy in the past that I really should get over and just go. Once this virus passes I’ll be able to work and hopefully save enough money to go. It’s something I’ve been thinking about. But I grew up holding all my emotions in so I tend to just cry when I try to talk. How’s the virus affecting you’re mental health?

[katcom in reply to Suzhou]

The virus does impact all respects of life, doesn't it? I hope soon you can get back to work and save enough money for therapy, which is in my opinion very expensive. Have you tried to write down your own feelings on a diary? Often when I have no one to talk to, I write.

[Suzhou in reply to katcom]

About four years ago I started a diary/journal. I remember telling myself something has to chance otherwise I won’t be here anymore. And writing stuff down has helped a lot 🖤

[katcom in reply to Poodie]

Me too, I am also trying to get ride of the depression by keeping myself busy, learning a foreign language, playing music. But once things are done. Still, my mood descends into depression. I guess, what i need is actually someone to talk.

[Suzhou in reply to katcom]

I felt that. My semester just ended so I have free time now. So I over think. But college kept me busy. But then college makes me cry too so... ahhaha

[Poodie]

I think I have adjusted. In a way it is more peaceful and less hectic. I can concentrate on getting things done at home. When the isolating in place ends, I am afraid i’ll have too much to catch up on.

I am concerned about the virus. It seems like a very bad one and I look forward to someone coming up with a vaccine ASAP.

We live in a wooded area with lots of trails to walk in. I have a husband and two older kids who live each in their own place. I miss seeing them. One is working from home. The other had to apply for unemployment and that was stressful.

I have a bad habit of avoiding going to sleep. Are you is U S or U.K. ? It is 2:30 here so I am going to hopefully fall asleep soon.

Post again soon. Good night.

[Suzhou in reply to Poodie]

I’m currently living in America. You seem really sweet if you ever need me or just need to vent message me!! Night!

[Poodie in reply to Suzhou]

Thank you. I will.

Keep posting here. The people in this group are sincere and helpful. I will follow you .

I am glad you will be looking into therapy again when this virus subsides. I hope you find a good therapist. Don’t forget, you are looking for someone well trained who you feel comfortable with. So do your research on them . You want someone who is kind, nonjudgmental, and all those things that point to having a good character.

I don’t know what kind of issues you had before with therapy, but be sure to discuss that.

If you have insurance, that will help defray the cost. Or look into a university training center that has a sliding scale fee. Perhaps your parents can help pay for it ? You Keep in touch here or you can message me.

You are young and deserve to have a happy life ahead of you, so good luck working towards that goal.

Hopefully we will get ahead of this virus so that life can return to more normal. It’s definitely a tough time now which we know presents many hardships to everyone. We all need to take good care of our physical and mental health.

[katcom in reply to Poodie]

I live in China, where the virus originated. It seems that things are going to be okay once the quarantine was over. Shops are now re-opend and people start going back to work. Don't be so worried. I wish you a very good night.

[Suzhou in reply to katcom]

I have heard that China was doing better 🖤 hope you have a good night too

[Poodie in reply to katcom]

Thank you.

[katcom]

Good night (although it is afternoon in China now).

[Suzhou in reply to katcom]

Haha I was about to say isn’t it 2:40 pm over there lol