I feel like crying but don't know why. It feels like I am missing something. I have supportive parents but they are old and I don't want them to feel they have to worry about me, so I don't tell them anything now, because I don't think they know I can feel sad and not know why. I have sisters and one is always pushing me to read or listen to things positive. I don't want to or I'm just tired and have no energy. She gets mad at me when she sends me things to read and if I don't she is upset. she is also impatient and blames me for being depressed because she thinks it is my fault I am the way I am or enjoy it. I told her how I feel and my parents too and told them to just do their thing without me, I feel the pressure of pretending I am well. I just want to be alone sometimes and I have also read things my sister sent me. I find it boring and it doesn't help. She gets mad and then all of a sudden I feel bad I hurt her. I feel like she thinks she is the victim and told her to stop making me do things I know I won't do till I feel better. I then hear my mom wondering why I am not better when lots of people get over depression after only a few months or less, while I have it now for over 25 years. It hurts and then when I feel like I want to just die and get over it I don't because of my family. I don't work, can't. I feel useless. I am the one who should be taking care of my parents because they are getting older and I am the oldest of three sisters and they act older than me and told me not to talk to them if it is going to be about feeling depressed. I have screamed and cried at them telling them they are crazy if they think I like feeling depressed, and told them I am only alive now because of them. How long do I have to feel obligated to live unhappy to make others happy? Thanks for listening. I read this quote and it feels like me. Maybe you will like it or give others something to think about.