ADHD- overwhelmed and not feeling heard!!!

[hannah1987b]

hi everyone,

I moved house 4 weeks ago tomorrow. Myself and my children moved into our forever home.

My partner and I do not live together.

I have a mix of ADHD, PTSD, GAD, Depression and OCD.

My partner is the k oh person that has helped me pretty much through the whole move.

When we moved in, the house needed updating and decorating but was livable how it was. I made it very clear what I needed to concentrate on to get the house and all of our belongings in and sorted so we can live I. The house and decorate one room at a time .

Bith of my children have special needs and I have my mental health issues plus spinal issues and endometriosis.

My partner had different plan and has ploughed ahead stripping walls and decorating. He wanted our home to feel noc and to have nice freshly decorated rooms so we could feel relaxed.

I have expressed many times that having curtains up ( curtain poles drilled in) decluttering and doing dump runs and getting wardrobes up so I can put stuff away and put stuff into the loft was most important because as he knows…. I will get overwhelmed and go into adhd paralyses and not achieve anything.

This is exactly what has happened in the Last 4 weeks and a n overnight hospital stay.m for me with ovarian cysts and bowel issues .

The chaos and stress has taken a toll. Anyway, today….. I blew my lid.

If I speak up he doesn’t like what he hears and takes everything very defensively and doesn’t want to hear it and if he does, his way is always better and my way makes no sense so is meaningless.

if I don’t speak up and hold it in, I’m to blame for not saying anything.

I feel so stuck.

Today is his bday and I blew my lid today or all days!

I’m so exhausted!

Am I to blame? I feel like such an easy scapegoat to him, he finds it very difficult to accept any accountability.

Xx

[Nothing_but_books]

I have never been diagnosed with ADHD, but your description of ADHD Paralysis sounds much like me. The things you need, and why you need them connect.

I know I'm not heard either. More, the little work I accomplish through chronic pain and emotional problems gets sabotaged. "By accident." I can't say anything or.

I never fit ADHD descriptions before. I don't know, but I suspect I have CPTSD paralysis. No, I never heard of it, but fear of abuse is at the heart of it all for me.

[hannah1987b in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thank you so much for your response.

I’m so very sorry 😔

You will always be heard here in this safe space!

Please reach out to services that can help you in your situation!

Yohh uh should never be in physical nor emotional danger for speaking out xxx always here if you need to talk xxx

[Nothing_but_books in reply to hannah1987b]

I'm tryin'. I'm tryin'.

Thank you back.

[Midori]

My son (carer) is exactly the same way; He cannot get it through his head that just because he feels 'in charge' that's the way it is going to be.

Because you have problems doesn't affect your intellect; which some folk who step up to caring, don't seem to understand. My son (who is also diabetic) ignores what I need in favour of what he Thinks I need. Drives me nuts!

For instance, He doesn't see that clearing the old packing cases and getting rid of the bubblewrap would help enormously, before trying to get on with the tidying and putting stuff away! Leave alone the Decorating!

Cheers, Midori