Feeling confused

[NewYearNewMe2]

So..my husband, my best friend and father to our 5 children decided to tell me 2 days before Christmas that after 12 years together he no longer loves me and was leaving. Just over a week later he text me saying that I was still his goal, he doesn’t want anyone else just some time to work through his own feelings, this giving me hope, he works away from home and only home at weekends so at the minute our children don’t know about the split I’ve just been telling them that daddy had to work. He came around on Friday to see the children and to celebrate our little boy turning 2, he stayed late so the children didn’t suspect anything ( his idea to not tell them until next time he is home) and we end up sleeping together. The next day he apologises tells me it shouldn’t have happened. I am so confused!! I love this man completely but he has my head and heart all over place I just don’t know what to do.

[2stroke]

NewYearNewMe2

So sorry for the turmoil you're going through.i know how hard it is ,but keep on trying with him,its hard being on your own.Sorry can't help more.

[Hidden]

Hes made it clear he doesnt love you i would just let him be a gud father til your children & let him go! Hes playing with your feelings & its not fair on you. His loss. I know it will b hard for you but try get on with your life with out him. Make urself busy before you know it you will be over him xx

[NewYearNewMe2 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for this although my heart sank a bit reading it I know your right. I told him today it’s all or nothing and it’s not fair of him to keep me hanging the way is, and I’ve got to be prepared to stick to my guns, and not let him take of advantage of my feelings again

[Hidden in reply to NewYearNewMe2]

Your just right. Your better than that. Just get on lyk you dont care & u will c a change in him! Xx

[Hidden]

Sorry this is happening to you, it's hard when one of the people you love the most hurts you. At this point an ultimatum would probably be best. "You had a week or more to think, either we get back together now or it's over for good". Because if he is not sure he wants to be with you then his love is not true. And the last thing you need is for him to think he can do this to you when ever he wants and when ever he needs "time to think".

[NewYearNewMe2]

Thank you for your reply I’m glad that someone else agrees that an ultimatum was needed. I want him to stay and am scared he’ll stay choose to go but I need to know either way

[Hidden in reply to NewYearNewMe2]

It's better to see the truth than to be in denial. It hurts more to not know, at least if he does decide to leave for good you know what kind of person you where married to. Someone who up and leaves his family out of the blue, that's very selfish. If he leaves then you can move on and let him care for his children which are his responsibility as well. It will hurt at first but you have to be strong for your children, with time you will heal

[Greengardens]

Newyearnewme2

12 years and 5 kids is a lot of history to move on from. If it was me, I would tell him i need an answer. If hes moving on, you have the right to do the same.

[NewYearNewMe2 in reply to Greengardens]

I have giving him an ultimatum today it’s all or nothing and he can’t keep me holding on the way he is so fingers crossed for the outcome I want but I’m also prepared to stick to my guns if he still chooses to leave. Thank you for your reply the support I have received on here has been amazing

[Greengardens in reply to NewYearNewMe2]

I have already received so much reassurance since joining just last night. Helplessness has turned to hope for me. I wish the same for everyone else That is struggling on here

[Sprinkle1]

Go to therapy, straight to therapy, for yourself and encourage him to come also, problems can be worked out, Do not be jerked around, let the daylight in. Think of your children, think of your own health. Write to us we will be of support and give you love and Hugs. Sprinkle 1

[NewYearNewMe2]

I would really like to thank you all for your support today, it really has helped, although my heart is breaking right now as my husband is still choosing to leave, at least I know where I stand and can start moving on with my life, he is a good dad so I know he’ll always be there for the kiddies I just hope he doesn’t live to regret his choice

[kenster1]

thats really unfair on you and the kids.maybe he had nowhere else to stay so gave you false hope.my ex asked me out for her birthday danced with me stayed at mine but kicked me onto the floor in my own house.next morning she said thanks and gave me a kiss.that was the last I seen her for months.lets hope he does just need time to think and that he realises how much you and the kids mean to him.i hope it works out.