Feeling deserted and lonely

[misterericsir]

I'm 45 and have struggled with depression and anxiety for over a decade. During that time I have tried to commit suicide, gone to therapy, tried dozens of meds and had ECT. Let's just say it's been hard on my wife, 15 year old son and 13 year old daughter. Thru the grace of God and medical help my depression and anxiety have been under control for the past two years. However my wife moved out over 2 years ago but I still live in our house and my kids spend time with me a lot. My spiritual beliefs do not allow the option of divorce which is really hard. I feel alone because I don't have friends my own age, and even though I've worked thru anger issues and the mental health problems that led to our separation my wife says she is still afraid and nervous when she is with me and refuses to come into our house. I just feel abandoned and lonely.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry about your wife. So many don't get what we deal with. Are you able to get any info so she can at least try to understand? I wish for you all the best. Love & Hugs!!!

[Hidden]

I'm here if you need to talk to someone..you don't have to feel alone..

[ScottieStyles]

When you are alone, or feelin suicidal, think about your kids, draw strength from them, they need you, meditation also helps, or why not get into cricket 🏏, it's such a good game once you undstand it

[fighterlife]

Hey Man!

Sorry to hear it. But Great to hear you have experienced the grace of God! He is the true healer! He also provides people, meds, and support in our lives to get through life. Have you and your wife been to counseling together? What is she "afraid and nervous" about?

I ran across some great articles for you: bit.ly/2D9KytC, I really like #4 about Kay and Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty.

Praying for you guys!

[misterericsir]

My wife and I have been to counseling together for years and even more frequently after she moved out. She feels afraid and nervous because before she left I had a really bad temper and became anger over almost anything. I was verbally abusive and a real jerk. She also is afraid because of my suicide attempt and the toll it took on her mentally and emotionally to be with me during my struggles when I was extremely depressed. Once she left I began to work constantly on controlling my temper, my mouth, and finding positive ways to express my anger. I also have focused on my relationship with God and finding ways to focus on having a positive attitude. I know it sounds typical to say it but I really have changed in huge ways. That's the root of the problem. My children see the change, my friends and the people I work with see it, even my wife sees it. But she still is unable to trust me and feels like she can never overcome her distrust and fear. Thank you for being here to listen.

[Hidden in reply to misterericsir]

Give her some time. Ya know gaining the trust back does take time. You're putting in such good work & I truly believe you will be rewarded for it! Love & Hugs!! I'm here for you anytime, just so you know!