Overwhelmed

[Irish2323]

Second attempt at putting my issues out here... I’m an overwhelmed mom and wife. Most can relate! I don’t do well with change. I feel like I’m not enough. I feel like my patience is thin. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety since 17 years old I’m now 33. I work 40 plus hours a week my husbands works that or more. We are raising 4 out of 6 kids and 1 grandchild it’s never quiet in my home. My anxiety level is through the roof. I haven’t felt depressed in a long time and now I find myself there again. I have so much to be grateful for but feel like I can’t breathe. My husband doesn’t understand so he end up arguing. He’s not the best at listening which makes me feel like I’m by myself

[jkl5500]

Are you receiving any kind of therapy at this time?

[Irish2323 in reply to jkl5500]

Just started Prozac last week. I’ve been feeling worse and have had a headache since. I go to doctor again today

[theThinkingBull]

This sounds a lot like my situation. The past few years have been very difficult for me, and it feels like a snowball that just doesn't stop. The one thing that has helped me is getting in some exercise... I don't exercise much, but when I plug into some good music and push myself to get a good exercise in, I end up feeling very good. It is a constant struggle but I just keep trying. To you find some time to get an exercise in?

[Irish2323 in reply to theThinkingBull]

I find no time for anything 😭. I thought about the gym but felt it was selfish of me to leave the husband with all the chaos.

[jkl5500]

Hi,

My first reply wasn't meant to be nosy, but I just hope that you are seeking (or will seek) some medical help for your situation. You sound truly overwhelmed, and when your husband can't understand your illness, then you definitely need to consult somebody who does. It has nothing to do with "weakness' or shame. You need medical help, and I sincerely hope you seek it out soon.

[Irish2323 in reply to jkl5500]

No offense taken. I thank you for your concern. I’m lost and any input is welcome

[aaronm]

Hi Irish. This is a good place to talk and respond to others. I encourage you to seek out friends on here who you connect with.

[Hidden]

Hi Irish!

Do you have a moment to yourself during the week? Or a close friend/fam member who can watch the kiddos for a night? You need TLC too!<3 you sound like you have a lot on your plate, and that sounds stressful. I’m not a Mom or a wife, but I definitely feel for my own Mom who had to raise me by herself when my Dad died when I was a kid. She made sure I was in community things after school, made sure I got my homework done, paid the bills, went to church, cooking when she could even when she was exhausted from work. And I was just one kid! I can’t imagine juggling multiple kids, that must take a lot of patience. Maybe there’s also some extra curricular stuff the kids can go to the same community program after school? Do the kids have a system at home? Like chore lists? Two siblings can pair up to do the dishes, or take out the trash on Thursday nights, ect. Just some ideas! Maybe someone in the forum can comment on hubby conflict/resolution. I don’t have any experience with that. I hope that things start to get better<3

[Irish2323 in reply to Hidden]

I wish I had a spare moment. My time consist of driving to and from work is my only peace. All the kids have chores but they don’t do them like they are suppose to. And their chores are the simplest tasks. I cry a lot because it feels like everyone is on a mission to drive me over the deep end. Juggling so many personalities from each of the kids and trying to stay sane.

[Ripley7 in reply to Irish2323]

Hi Irish - I’m so sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed. It sounds like you truly have a lot on your plate.

When I used to commute about 3 hours a day between work, school (I went to tech school wayyyy later in life), and picking my kids up from school I got sick of listening to music all the time, and since I too have always struggled with depression and anxiety I started listening to podcasts—positive podcasts. Things like self improvement and/or religion- even psychology stuff which helps me understand mental illness better. They helped to keep my mind in somewhat of a positive frame regardless of my circumstances. It didn’t change any circumstances of course but it did help me to cope a little better with them.

Now in my case if I stop listening to the positive podcasts or whatever I will often find myself slipping back into my dark place—aka my depression.

Another thing lately that I’ve been learning about and applying a bit to my life is Buddhism. Not in an extreme way (no alters or anything like that) but in the sense that I’m learning mindfulness which has helped a good deal with my panic attacks so far.

I’m far from beating depression and anxiety but I feel like it’s a tiny step forward for me.

Not sure if any of this is helpful to you, but nonetheless I hear you- hang in there-you’re not alone. ❤️

[quitter333]

My mother once said a brilliant line why she never broke down when upkeeping household and working - she trusted people can solve their own problems. I applied that too .. there are many many friends who have endless problems, all girls I ever met had some problems. I often tried solving them all, and I was actually quite good at it. I am like a weasel - endless energy. But then I felt I am overwhelmed. I still have energy, but my time is running out... and I let go some of those problems just like that. Even where I would "normally" help, I stopped. I chose some certain PRIMARY OBJECTIVE for my day or week and started saying "no" to any distractions.

You can't tell kids "no", I get it, but sometimes we should let kids solve their issues on their won. Kids are not as dumb as we think and often letting them solve their little crisis makes them much stronger later in life. My parents always were there for me, but they did not bug me often with support. I really ended up asking for help maybe twice a year or so. I dealt with a lot of stuff on my own and I got used to it. Trust yourself as a parent to be able to assist when needed, but let a lot of problems to solve themselves. keep strong! You are already great for having 2 grown kids, and that's no easy task to have 6! Supermom

[babygirl1952]

I know actually how you feel I went through the same thing when I was your age and it's no fun my husband would leave with his bother for a few days at a time after the abuse we divorced my life got much better now I hope things get better for you I completely understand what your going through have a good evening