Trying hard but feeling empty

[DontJudge]

I'm in my third year in the university studying Geology, a course that was kinda "prescribed" to me to be lucrative and financially liberating. The thing is though, I'm in my third year, I've always felt empty studying the program, it just doesn't satisfy me.I had always been one of the brightest in the family and I feel like they all are dependent on me to study hard, get a nice job and make that huge break for the family. I'm not pretty bad academically but emotionally, I feel weak about studying so hard to feel as though I'm whiling away my time.

Dance! Dance!! Dance!!! has always been something I'm passionate about, I don't really practice but I feel like this is something I feel engaging about, my body just connects when it's time for move and fulfils me but I don't really go out, show moves I've got since I don't have a lot of friends and don't attend parties where the grooves gets you rolling because I have this crippling anxiety in social gatherings.

I know this might sound stupid but I've always wished I could just quit school to do something else fulfilling but the family's there waiting and hinging on me to study hard and make them proud.

Is it selfish to want to do something for myself and just let them all just feel disappointed in me!!!

I honestly don't know how to live life living a career that doesn't make me happy😞

[Agora1]

DontJudge, we shouldn't have to live our lives for others, family or not.

We get one chance to become who we were meant to be. I'm sorry you feel

as if you can't obtain your goal in Dance. It sounds like that is where your passion

is. Working on your social anxiety should be your goal. You never lose the knowledge

of what you learned at the university. Only you can make that choice in finishing

your studies and graduating. Then you can pursue your dream of dancing. There's

no rule as to what we do with our talents. We need to follow what makes us happy

as well as complete in this life.

I wish you well with your choices. xx

[DontJudge in reply to Agora1]

To see this really means a lot. Thanks

[Agora1 in reply to DontJudge]

I've lived this myself. My mother pushed me to be what she was but my passion

was the medical field. I pursued and worked hard in what I wanted in life

and it's paid off. I'm happy doing what I was meant to do.

I hope you do what makes you happy. xx

[DontJudge in reply to Agora1]

I feel motivated by you and I'm happy to you to do what you always dreamt of

[Dolphin14]

DontJudge

Is there anyway you can do both? You are almost done with school you may want to finish that degree so you don't have any regrets down the line. Why can't you dance at the same time? Start some lessons. Don't give up on your dreams for someone else.

🐬

[DontJudge in reply to Dolphin14]

Yeah, that is another reason I push through the bad feelings to have a degree and not have regrets.I've not been dancing cuz there aren't any official dance schools in my university however there are student organised dance groups but I've never really felt warm enough to approach and say I'd like to join their group

[Dolphin14 in reply to DontJudge]

Hopefully somewhere down the line you will have the opportunity to start dancing.

It's hard to step out of our comfort zone when we are struggling but trying the dance group is another option for you. You can always quit the group if it's not a fit. Imagine if you took that big leap and it worked out? Just a thought I know how hard that would be

[DontJudge]

Yeah, thank you Dolphin14 I'll try that out sometime

[jjpeabody]

Dear DontJudge, I know this may not be what you want to hear: Stay in school and finish your degree in geology! Your are already in your 3rd year and the fourth year will be over in the blink of an eye relative to your long life. This will give you the foundation for a good job and income and financial independence. Then you can explore dance or whatever as a hobby which may develop into another career if you want but you'll always have your degree and education to fall back on. Be sure to make the commitment to get your degree, stay focused, and try your best and make good grades. Setting that goal will help you psychologically and emotionally and your graduation and that chapter of your life will be over very soon. If you fail to make a focused commitment things will likely get worse. Good luck

[DontJudge in reply to jjpeabody]

This feels encouraging, thank you