Empty

[Ashley8992]

I feel so empty inside. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to spend time with family, I do think want to talk to my boyfriend even though he really wants to help me. I feel worthless like I can't express any true emotions or feelings. No love, no happiness, no sadness, no hate, no nothing. It's so hard for me to go to work because I would much rather stay in bed all day but I force myself to go. I haven't completely given up yet, but I feel my time is coming with giving up. I am not on any meds and have no money to see a doctor. Someone please give me some advice so that I can get the strength to keep going.

[Sclarkstone]

It's great you messaged here, reaching out for help is such a massive step and you've done it. How long have you felt numb for? How's your sleep?

[Ashley8992 in reply to Sclarkstone]

I have felt numb for a few months now and my sleep is normal for me. I go to sleep around 2 or 3 am and wakeup about 10 or 11 am.

[Sclarkstone in reply to Ashley8992]

Have you thought about what happened a few months ago before you started feeling this way? What was the trigger. That's good that your sleep has not been affected, poor sleep always compounds the problem.

[Ashley8992 in reply to Sclarkstone]

a lot of things happened actually. I had to get my wisdom tooth pulled and I'm terrified of the dentist. We had to move out of the house that my family has had for over 40 years and I grew up in that house. And I found out that my alcoholic husband had been talking to my brothers girlfriend asking her to send nudes. And he is the one who made me seek out a therapist 5 months ago because he thought I was crazy. I'm only 24 by the way.

[Ashley8992 in reply to Ashley8992]

A lot of my feelings started the night before my first appointment with the therapist. After that I was put on citalopram and buspirone. I took it for 2 days and felt horrible my mind was so cloudy I couldn't think. I couldn't feel I couldn't do anything. I went to the ER and found out I was having a ceratonin overdose and so then I was put on Prozac but I still had some of the same symptoms. About 3 weeks after I started the Prozac I left my husband because he didn't care about anything that was happening to me. He only sat home a drank while I was driving back and forth to ER rooms within a 2 hour radius of my home because no one could tell me what was wrong with me. This went on for 5 weeks and all I wanted was help. I was all alone and all he wanted to do was drink. So I have left him and it's been about 4 months since all that happened, but I still feel numb to things and my head feels "heavy" all the time and I always have a headache in the back of my head. I don't know if the medicine I took messed me up, like am I having lasting effects? I just don't know,I just want to get back to me.

[Sclarkstone in reply to Ashley8992]

Well it sounds like you have plenty there to have caused anxiety and depression symptoms.

Change can be difficult at the time but it can also lead to good things, better things then what you had before.

Rather then looking at everything that has happened and becoming overwhelmed, try looking at one thing at a time. Look at your options for dealing with that one thing and decide what option to take then take it. Once you have sorted out a few things, no matter how small, it will give you back that feeling of control.

[Ashley8992 in reply to Sclarkstone]

See that's my problem. I know what happened to me I can specifically list them. My problem is I don't know how to deal with each one. What are my options, like how do I start to deal with them?

[Sclarkstone in reply to Ashley8992]

If we look at the first thing you mentioned, having your wisdom teeth out and a fear of the dentist, your options were to overcome your fear and have them out or to stay away. You did it, you overcome it. That's a huge achievement

[drloonbird]

It sounds like major depression which you can't help. Get you doc to prescribe antidepressants until you find one that works. Also, I went through TMS and it helped a lot. It is the new thing in psychiatry (Transmagneticstimulation). It is NOT ECT. You are fully conscious and can drive a car immediately afterwards. It is just a series of pulses on you left brain that stimulates neuroreceptors for serotonin. It's expensive but covered by insurance in some states. It's used at the Mayo clinic, etc. so it is not crackpot medicine. Takes about 20 minutes a day for a series of time.

[gogogirl]

At least you are getting your feelings out- that is important. You cannot help how you feel but you can control reactions and ask yourself if certain ones are doing you any good. You are young and the world awaits you. What kind of work do you do?

[Ashley8992 in reply to gogogirl]

I work at Walmart in the apparel section.

[gogogirl in reply to Ashley8992]

I hope that you like it. My late dad worked in the clothing industry for decades and really liked it.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

Anyway, I am here.