Free my mind

[BrokenPromise]

I need words of encouragement, inspiration, motivational quotes, poems, positivity, prayers please!My mind is constantly overloaded and I'm stuck. Nothings been much help lately. I haven't felt myself in forever.

I'm just struggling in every way. Over the years it's been hard for me to find peace and strength.

I feel lost and alone. I'm literally alone, I have no friends and I don't talk to family.

I have a void that I can't fill. I'm not happy, I force myself to cry sometimes and I suppress my anger. I've dealt with so much over the years that I'm becoming somewhat numb and hopeless.

Anxiety, depression, cptsd don't go away.

Almost everything triggers me and I just started to try to heal. I'm learning who I am.

I'm starting new meds, but I'm afraid of becoming addicted, and never being the same. Addiction is in my family, my parent is still an opiate addict and a doctor took part in that. Just about anyone who entered my life struggles with some form of addiction and I don't want to fall into that, but my intrusive thoughts tell me I should give up and self medicate in the streets, so I can become entirely numb too.

I'm in a cycle that I can't break, I'm seeking opportunities to provide and survive. This life of mine is difficult.

[Starrlight]

First of all , you are so important and your feelings are so ok to have, the anger, numbness , all of it. I’m so sorry you are not happy; it hurts my heart because I know pretty well how that feels. I have bipolar 1, struggling on most days.

I can relate in a few ways. I am not myself ( I was all about my art, athletics and helping special needs kids) Now I homeschool my own kids and I do love this in ways but for so many years now my spark seems not to be in me anymore as I have dreams where I do my art but when I wake up I hate the thought of it and when I try, hate the process and the outcomes.…I’m just too overwhelmed and stressed. I do for everyone else. Im exhausted and I fear painting and fear not painting, fear not running yet fear running it’s too harsh (maybe I’ll go back to yoga) , and I fear going back to work and fear not being able to.

Also, addiction runs in my family like yours. I know it’s scary. That’s great how careful you are. It’s good to stay away. Ive struggled with substances for so long. I recently quit klonopin and alcohol and vaping went back to vaping and am taking kava because always seem to have to hold onto and even sabotage myself with one or two addictions it seems when I let go of one or two others. Frustrating.

I wish you the best with your new med and I hope you heal. I hope you continue to write if it is at all helpful. My heart goes out to you ❤️ I think life is bound to hurt us , some of us deeply, and we can loose what is most important to us, but we can always find our way back to ourselves and to our spark through our hearts I believe; that and cling onto hope until it’s time to be free. It will be worth it I think.I have experienced little freedoms, little victories and have also plunged into such scary darknesses, but on both ends, the feelings for me are very intense and overwhelming. I’m always chasing to feel different than I do no matter how I feel I don’t know if that makes sense to you. Anyway, I hear you and I care.

I just said a prayer for you that you will receive light and love, and feel the spark of who you are again.

Thank you very much for sharing. In doing so you’ve helped me work some ideas out in my mind and it’s encouraging and also we are not alone.

💛⭐️

[BrokenPromise in reply to Starrlight]

Ahhhhh this makes complete sense to me. I'm always looking for something to make me feel different, it's that void in me.And I'm right there with you. I've been out of work because of my mental health, but I need to get back to work. I have fears of wanting, but not wanting, just like you said.

I began drinking heavily some years back and I knew if I didn't stop than I'd become to addicted. It was terrible! I don't do that anymore. I live for the little victories too because that's all I can do. It's certainly overwhelming!

Its nice to know how others like you can relate, because these feelings of mine are confusing, I feel crazy sometimes.

I hope you find your spark again, perhaps adding in a twist into your art to make it interesting again can be helpful!? Idk, maybe add clay for a 3d effect. Sorry, I wish I can be of help. Thank you so much for the prayers! I prayed for you 🌹🙏

[BrokenPromise in reply to BrokenPromise]

Always putting others before yourself because you're a diamond! Highly valuable. That's very rare nowadays. You're doing a great job! 🌻

[Starrlight in reply to BrokenPromise]

Thank you for praying for me I soooo appreciate it and I will take your advice - I had a dream of using wire in art which I’ve done before. I’ll try to be in the moment of creating and try not to cate too much how it turns out. So helpful, thanks.

I think you are doing great. We try our best and it is enough. I think you are like me, it gets confusing and we at times feel crazy but that passes. We overthink things and need to ground ourselves.

[Starrlight]

I want to leave this here too

Something to practice

[BrokenPromise in reply to Starrlight]

Truth. Thank you ✨

[Starrlight in reply to BrokenPromise]

✨ you’re welcome. You are light and love. You can do great things. I’m trying to get myself to believe that in myself too, it’s a process.

[Florida1959]

picked this card for you, just now.

The Phoenix card appearing today signifies that you are in a transformative phase and that it is time to embrace change and let go of the old. It's encouraging you to have faith that you can reinvent yourself above and beyond your current limitations and that any experiences of loss or endings are just making way for new beginnings. The Phoenix card is a reminder that you have the strength to face any challenges life throws at you, and that the experiences you've had and the lessons you've learned will only serve to make you better and stronger. Like the Phoenix, you can rise above anything that seeks to bring you down.

[BrokenPromise in reply to Florida1959]

Love this! Thank you for the reading and encouragement ✨

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Wisdom there, ❤️it.

[Hidden]

try pinterest and search for affirmations just google

[BrokenPromise in reply to Hidden]

It's more meaningful to me coming from others who understand the struggle.

[Hidden in reply to BrokenPromise]

that's fair x best to you x

[BrokenPromise in reply to Hidden]

And to you as well. Thank you ✨

[BrokenPromise]

🌻💖