Feeling lonely and ashamed

[snart3]

I feel so sad and suicidal everyday. And everyone in my life constantly blames me and says I need to get over it. I try to explain that it's not that simple but no one seems to understand how I feel. I feel so alone and ashamed of myself, but I can't seem to make these thoughts go away.

I don't have the money to get help, and I don't have many friends or family especially not ones who are supportive and understanding of me. I feel completely isolated and like I have nothing left, and that my life is slowly spiraling into nothing.

What do I do? I just wish I could make these feelings of constant pain, anxiety, and sadness disappear.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Snart,

You are not lonely when you connect with us on the forum.

No money doesn't mean that you can't afford help or that you don't deserve support.

Depending on where you live, you could try contacting your local health department, community centre or library for some resources. Some universities have psychology students who run low cost programs

There are lots of online resources with programs to work through, even tips for starting difficult conversations about mental health with your family and friends .

If you scroll down to the bottom of the screen and click on the Directory, there are quite a refer help places listed.

If you would like to share your location, maybe some forum users can put their local knowledge to use.

Remember: The journey begins with the first step

[snart3 in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you so much for your reply. I live in the Austin TX area. I have no idea how to begin the journey to recovery, and I am a college student with no way to fund expensive treatment.

I would love to hear any suggestions or advice anyone has because I feel in a very low and dark place.

[shawnaskin in reply to snart3]

Liza Jenson [phone] she is in charge of NAMI meetings in San Antonio she can put you in touch with someone who leads a meeting where you can go for free

[Libranotokay in reply to snart3]

I'm in this dark place too. I'm learning from it. It is beautiful being in the dark! Stop letting these people ruin your beauty! It's time to stop crying and start standing! Talk to children, they help! But most importantly KEEP TALKING!

I went through the whole "no one is listening" thing. But because I kept talking and kept emoting, my little cousin (12) understood that I needed some proof of the good in people. Someone to understand that I just need to get it off my chest, please listen instead of offering me advice. She gave me a report she did on bullying, I believe she shared it with me because she wanted me to know she understood me.

Sometimes we don't understand how powerfully intuitive children (and others) can be. Here I am, losing my mind and she comes and let's me know I'll be okay with a simple kind gesture.

The pain was eased. My mind is still restless but I won't stop talking until I get in to the light where I (and you) belong!

For those interested in knowing, I'm a black, gay man. I have been discriminated against and my energy is ever so focused on proving my case to stand up for not only myself, but for everyone else who feels ashamed to be themselves. And they wonder why we have all these diseases. Pssh! I'm done playing the "act right" game. Accept me for who I am and not for what it may look like.

KEEP TALKING! Voice your opinions, they are yours! Love them and love yourself!

-Patty

[Hidden]

Hey Snart, welcome to the club! I told my family today that they made me wanna die. I probably wanna die 30-40% of the time. I'm not gonna try to hurt myself, but I'd sure love to get hit by a bus. I say that as a joke although sometimes, I mean it. I haven't had health insurance since 1990 when they kicked me outta the hospital with 2 months to live (cancer). Im still here! I turned to this site for help because I can't afford a good Dr and I don't trust most people. My life is exhausting! I'm gonna try to go jogging for the 1st time this morning. I only have 1 Lung so... It's not gonna be easy. Wish me luck! Maybe we can help each other thru this insanity? 😫

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Good luck with the jogging. Good for you!! Proud of you!!

[snart3 in reply to Hidden]

Wow Shaquandita, your story is inspiring. I am so proud of you for pushing yourself and going jogging. I wish you only the very best.

I feel like I have nobody who understands at times, and it's nice to have people like you who listen to me and who I can talk to. Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to snart3]

Absolutely! I get you! Each day is a struggle. Especially BREATHING! Breathing is sooooo hard for me while most people don't even realize they are doing it. LOL! I didn't get up to a full JOG but at least I walked 3 miles in this heat O_O I feel better about myself. You should try it. Pick a goal that's scary but do it anyway! At least to the best of your ability. You'll feel better : ) I Hope.

[Libranotokay in reply to Hidden]

Proud of you! I thank God I found this group! I think our reason for being alive is to help each other out of the dark.

[TorontoSkyWalker]

Men, I am here for you brother [e-mail]

[TorontoSkyWalker]

You will get through this

[shawnaskin]

Maybe you could go to the website intherooms.com. Its an AA format but listening to tohers seems to help and you dont feel so alone. Other than that try and find a meeting for your problem. There is an association called NAMI national alliance for mentally ill. They have meetings everywhere. Look that up on the internet and attend one and you might feel better. Hope this helped

[Hidden]

I wish you had some supportive people in in real life to pick you up.

When I get like this sometimes I write poems in a private journal. Or I write list about my positive side like 10 things that make me happy, 10 things i am grateful for, 10 things i am proud of...

I used google to find this positive psychology worksheet that is available here

positivepsychology.com/self...

Best regards,

Lisa