Birthday Coming Up UGH!

[Elizabeth830]

If you read my last post, you might realize that I am having a trying time, not the worst ever by any means, but I am feeling icky.

My 52 birthday is Saturday. My divorce was final in April. I only mention that because my birthday was often an after thought all while I was married. Last year for my birthday my sister in law (my brother's wife) invited me away for the day and then my mom and son had dinner and a cake for me in the evening. At this time last year, I was still in the same house as my ex but we didn't talk much. I feel as though they worked hard to soften the blow of not having my husband do something for my birthday.

This year my son is out of town for my birthday. He asked me if it was okay that he was out of town for my birthday. Of course I said it was fine. He took me out to dinner last week and we went to a concert together Monday night and he said we would do something when he came back.

My mother randomly called me last night and asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. I said I didn't know. She then went on to say that she and my dad are going to a BBQ fundraiser all day and wouldn't be available. Then she asked if I wanted her to get a small cake to have on Sunday. I still said that I didn't know. She basically triggered me. She asked me about my birthday just like the ex used to, like it was an after thought. She will probably ask me to pick up my own birthday cake too, just like him. Anyway I ended the conversation with the fact that my birthday is just another ordinary day, blah, blah, blah. She told me to let her know what I want to do. Again, putting the effort of celebrating my birthday on me.

Her birthday was at the beginning of the month. My son and I got a cake and brought it to her house and spent time with her. We didn't say that we would try to fit her birthday in because we were so busy. We didn't call her and ask her what she wanted to do for her birthday. We just did something nice.

Anyway, I have a call into a local Veteran's Organization. They are having a fundraiser, different from the one my parents are going to on my birthday, and I offered to volunteer. Helping out always boosts my self-esteem. Hopefully someone calls me back and I can spend my birthday doing something productive for others.

Maybe it is just the mood that I am in...maybe I am overthinking again...maybe TMS is making me moody (I just finished #14). IDK, I just know that I don't like feeling this way.

[Arymretep]

Hi , Happy birthday for Saturday 💐 you are doing the right thing by volunteering helping others will help you forget about everything else, I read somewhere that you cannot control how others behave towards you, only how you react to it, which is just what you are doing, good for you, have a great day 👍

[LifeIsThePitts]

I'm having a maintenance week of TMS and today was 4 of 5. My results are typical and reliable for me. TMS is the only treatment option that keeps my depression and anxiety symptoms from dictating my mind and executive functioning. I spiraled and it's the first time I acted this quickly to intervene with TMS and the results are dramatic from last Sunday to now. I hope as you get through your series that the results will be similar. I did not get noticable improvement this time until the last two of 7.5 weeks

[TangledUpIn]

Elizabeth, you sound like such a nice person. 🙂 I know exactly what you mean when you said it felt like celebrating your birthday has been an after thought for people close to you. When I read the part of your post about your mother calling you to say she wasn't going to spend your birthday with you, my reaction was how rude. I applaud your idea about volunteering on your birthday - I think that experience could really turn your day around. 😙

[Elizabeth830 in reply to TangledUpIn]

What is funny is that since I filed for divorce I have been hanging out with some older friends at a local bar. We play trivia during the winter once a week and just get together to talk once a week the other times of the year. Anyway, last night, we made plans to meet up and one couple brought me a gift and the other couple made me a cake. ❤️ I didn’t have to tell them what I wanted. I didn’t remind them that my birthday was coming up. They did it all on their own. I couldn’t believe that they were all more thoughtful then my family.

Funny thing is, when I tell my mother how sweet they all were to me, she will find something negative to say to justify that she is better than them

[TangledUpIn in reply to Elizabeth830]

I love it when friends come through for us😇 When I was really sick, my friends and family were there for me and I will never forget their help. As far as your mother 😲, my mom died a couple of years ago and our complicated relationship never resolved. I am thankful though, that today I have much closer relationships with my siblings and father without my mother in the way. So things can change for you too - you just never know what is around the corner!

[Snowflake77]

Happy Birthday. You deserve to be happy for your birthday. Good for you to volunteer. Do something you love. Sometimes strangers treat you better than your own family.

[Elizabeth830 in reply to Snowflake77]

Unfortunately, that’s often the truth.

[bethelbee]

Hi Elizabeth! Hope you are able to enjoy your birthday! Nice that you will be volunteering. You will be appreciated. I am a TMS success. I had 3 rounds. The positive results of the first 2 each lasted about 6 months and the 3rd is still working after 2 years. I didn't start to feel results until a few weeks in with the first 2 rounds and even later with the 3rd, not until almost the end. Hang in there with treatment! Wishing you success with it! (I'm in my late 60's)

[Elizabeth830 in reply to bethelbee]

Thank you! I hope I get results this time so I can at least experience something different.

[Snowflake77]

Happy Birthday

[Elizabeth830 in reply to Snowflake77]

Thank you!

[Snowflake77]

Your welcome