My mother’s birthday tomorrow - Anxiety and Depre...

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My mother’s birthday tomorrow

27 Replies

I have been working so hard to make it the best birthday ever for mom, there’s this new thing I know she would love. Spidey and I have been taking the train more often trying to make it there. This museum just reopened again she never went even though she is dying to, she have been waiting on me cause I saw the pictures online and I know we would both love it there every time I mention it she kept saying ‘ nothing would make me happier than to go there with you so I will wait’

It’s so far and mentally I’m not there yet I don’t know if I can go that far out my comfort zone and not go into full panic mode and ruin her birthday completely I sent my therapist an email asking if there’s a way he can be there with us maybe I can try. Any advice guys (for those who don’t know me on here I’m agoraphobic)

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27 Replies
Kainan profile image
Kainan

Hey Danielle!! Missed you on here. I think that's awesome what you plan to do with your mom. it should be a really fun time. What kind of museum is it?

in reply toKainan

It’s the superblue, google the pictures it’s like a dream

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Nice to see ya !😊I think youde be good to go ….take some pictures

in reply toSillysausage234

Alan!!!! I have been trying to get there on my own to surprise her with no luck and tomorrow is the big day. If I do make it I’ll post pictures

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to

I’ll look out for them

in reply toSillysausage234

🌻🌻🌻❤️

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to

I’ve been wondering how you’ve been,hope you enjoy the day

in reply toSillysausage234

It’s great to take a break from the site at times lol I just took a really really long break this time

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to

I understand completely….but nice to see you and your sunflowers 🌻 also melbrown 😊

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

HiI hope you can get there. I know how much your mom means to you.

Happy Birthday to your mom 🎂🎂

❤️🐬

in reply toDolphin14

Dolphin how I missed ya 🌻 she’s my world and thank you

Fearoffear profile image
Fearoffear

You'll never regret stepping out of your comfort zone for your mom. Maybe you could take something small that reminded you of your comfort zone. I once put a handkerchief in my living room for a week and then folded it up and took it on a two day stay away from my home when I was agoraphobic. When ever I felt nervous I took it out and acted like I was wiping my nose just to get the smell of my home. No one knew I just kept saying these dang allergies. It grounded me enough to keep me present. If your mom is a comfort to you which it sounds like she is you might end up needing nothing at all except your mom's arm to walk arm and arm with. Hope your mom has the best day with you!! Gentle hugs you can do this!! 🫂🫂

in reply toFearoffear

She’s my safe person and you’re right it’s her birthday and I will do my best and use every ounce of courage I have to make it the best one yet

melbrown profile image
melbrown

Sunflower 🌻 💗 You are so sweet to want to do this for your mom. The museum sounds amazing... bet you guys would have a ton of fun. Remember how far you have come... when we first "meet" going across the street was a huge step. You are so strong & brave Danielle, plus you have super support pup, Spidey. And your mom is pretty amazing too. I know this seems impossible... anxiety is good at making us believe it... Your family & your family/friends here know you got this, we believe in you. Talk it out with your therapist... continue to reach out. Whatever you decide will be okay... your mom will have a good birthday because she has you. 💗 Give her some birthday love from all of us. And extra treats to Spidey. Love you hun.

in reply tomelbrown

❤️❤️🌻🌻 Mel I’m really hoping since mom is here this time I will make it to that destination and we will have a great time, give my baby Hans a kiss for me

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi Danielle x That would certainly be a gift for both of you. I have foundthat the anticipation is far worse than the actual event. Once you get there

and see the happiness in your mom's eyes as well as all the things to see in

the museum, you will forget your agoraphobia.

Remember, it's a label that we put on ourselves "Agoraphobic"...Just a word that

can be over come by focusing on the joy and not our concurring the fear and anxiousness.

If your therapist can't be there physically, think about having him there on call

for you. My therapist had suggested that for me when I first started going out of

my comfort zone. Ironically, I never had to call her, it was just knowing she was

available lowered my fears.

Last but not least, wish your mother a very Happy Birthday from me. She has been

so blessed to have you as her daughter, that in itself is a gift.

Whatever transpires tomorrow Danielle, be confident in yourself to have that dream

in going there with your mom, one day soon. Agora1 :) xx

in reply toAgora1

I’m waiting on his reply I think I’ll even feel better having him on the phone I do hope with all my heart that tomorrow will be an extra happy day being out with mom in a place that we both will enjoy and have fun in

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

Fingers Crossed :) xx

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11 in reply toAgora1

Very true!

The anticipation is often far worse than the actual event. I’m always texting my BFF about how terrible an event is going to be. She checks on me afterwards and it always goes better than I had expected.

I agree that we shouldn’t get too focused on our labels. We are each so much more than our labels…and labels can expire sometimes as we learn and grow.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply toRafiki11

Rafiki, what a true statement, "labels can expire" :) xx

dutchgirl71 profile image
dutchgirl71

I don’t always reply, although I do read many posts. I feel compelled to respond to you Callmedanielle because I want to really encourage you to try this really difficult activity with your mom. I have done some difficult things (contamination OCD) to spend time with my mom and I am so glad I did not let the lies of anxiety rob me of that special time with her. As others have mentioned, the anticipation is usually much worse than actually doing the task. We only have a limited time in this earth with the people we love. Don’t beat yourself up if you really can’t go, but maybe try another time. Your mom will love spending time with you anytime of the year. And don’t worry about making it a perfect birthday for her…I often get stuck with high expectations. Try your best to do what you can is all you need to do to have a special day with your mom!! You got this!👍💪🏼

in reply todutchgirl71

❤️❤️🌻 thank you so much for these words and you’re right I barely slept that night and I was a wreck while getting ready but we did make it and it was unforgettable, my mother means the world to me and we were all smiles on her birthday. I will never forget this

in reply todutchgirl71

Sending you love and again thank you for these kind words

It really was, we had a lot of fun

He didn’t go with me but he did stay on the phone until I got there, I had to ask just in case

The trip was a success lol so I’m happy

🌻❤️❤️ thank you

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