Painful Months!!!

[gfranklin12]

These following months. always affects me in a very different way, March, April, May, and June. These months all have their own story.

March 2016, We finally went to trail for the murder of daughter... we had to relive how everything all started. We also had to hear how badly he beat her to death with a hammer... he wanted too take away her beauty. I was in the bed for close to three weeks after the trail was completed.

April 12th is her birthday... it is so hard every year not sending her money, or hearing her voice on that very bless day.

May 30th 2010... I received the call that she was missing, and the she was last seemed with him, and my grandson. she was trying to do the right thing by allowing him to see his child. I told her if he wasn't a threat to her or his son, then allow him to spent time with his child... I never knew that he was abuses to her, and I blame myself for not knowing, or being there to protect her.

June 2nd, her body was found in a lake not far from where her ex-boyfriend lived. She was so badly beaten, and been underwater for so long, that she couldn't be identity. We had to identity her by her tattoo... it was her name on her right upper arm. The state people had to keep her body for evidence, so we didn't have her home going service until June 10th. It is not the nature order of cause to put your child to rest... they should be putting us to rest.

I hate taking my anxiety medication, but it does help clam me down when other methods are unaffected , I just wanted to reach out, and ask for help. I have never talked or shared this story with many people outside my doctors, and family... please help.

[Mary-intussuception]

Hello again.

Sorry I haven't yet replied to your last post - I did write a reply then lost it before completing. Will get back to that sometime. Was thinking of you.

About today's post - of all these dates may I ask you to focus on just one of them?

April 12th ?

How do you feel about sharing some happy memories? Birthday occassions or other times ? Times your beautiful daughter made you laugh, fun moments you shared when she was growing up? Her favourite school topic? Music?

12th April 1985 was a Very Special Day

♡🌹♡

xXx

[gfranklin12 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you, and no worries about the other post...I will attempt to follow your advice love, and thank you😊😊😊!!!

[Mary-intussuception in reply to gfranklin12]

Hi again.

I think you are very brave sharing all this. Must be so painful for you to recall.

Have you thought of what you might do in her memory? Is there a park near where you live or a beauty spot where you could place a bench or have a tree planted in memory of your daughter?

xx

[gfranklin12 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Hi, and thank you for such kind words😊😊😊!!! Also, I will look into that part about creating something in her name, so that her baby boy will have something that will help him honor his mother also.

Thank you, and God Bless!!!

[art62grammie]

I am so very sorry. I know as a mother of 3 kids it must be very tough to bury your child. I have not walked in your shoes. You blame yourself for her death. I understand. It really is not your fault. We are trustworthy. We trust others to be like us. I found out that a lot of people are not like us. You can share the pain of my aunt and uncle. Many years ago. My cousin who was a year younger than me. My aunt and uncle had one child. She was 20 and had a two-- year old son. My cousin and her husband were getting a divorce. He did not like the thought of losing her. My aunt and uncle did not pick up on his words of weirdness. They talked with him a few weeks before that man killed his wife. My cousin. The only child to my aunt and uncle. They blame themselves for not catching it. The husband of my cousin shot her 12 times with a 12 gauge shotgun. He then turned the gun on himself. My aunt and uncle raised that 2 years boy. He is now 30. I know they still suffer all these years. It was not their fault that she died. It is not your fault. We do blame ourselves. I have been there too in other situations. I had to let it go. It was destroying me. I am truly sorry.

[gfranklin12 in reply to art62grammie]

OMG love, I am so sorry for your lost, and I do understand what your aunt and uncle had to endure after their baby was taken away so unexpectedly. Thank you for reaching out, and sharing your sorry... you are the very first one to share a story that is just like mine... thank you, and God Bless you!!!

[art62grammie in reply to gfranklin12]

Your welcome. Be strong. I am sorry for your loss too.

[-Sasha-]

That was devastating to read. I'm so sorry you had to endure all that. Losing a loved one in general is extremely hard, but to have them taken from you in such a brutal way... Well it does some damage that not many understand.

I've had a lot of people in my life past away but the one that still haunts me today is my uncle's death. He was left in a ditch on the side of the road after being strangled, from what my family was told, with his own shoelace. I was 14 at the time, a freshman in high school, and was there when my aunt broke the news to my 13yr old cousin. His death is what introduced me to the lovely world of depression.

I know the actions of one person or a few make you question humanity and life itself, but there's still so much good out there. I'm sure you see it in your grand baby, like I see it in my little ones everyday. Just wanted you to know you're not alone.

~S~

[gfranklin12 in reply to -Sasha-]

Thank you love for reaching out, and sharing your story, and yes you are correct!!! There is some good in the world, and not just me, but US love can tap into it and draw out the richness of the good in the world😊😊😊!!!

[Estherblue]

Am so sorry, u had to go through all this. U r so so brave. I almost feel i don't have any reason to complain about my depression, knowing that someone could go through something like this. Again i say, u r so brave and i really appreciate u for sharing your story. I really don't know what to say, but believe me I'll put u in my prayers and pray that you get healed from all this pain. Stay strong.

[gfranklin12 in reply to Estherblue]

Thank you so very much... God bless you😊😊😊