At a recent group therapy session, the experienced therapist responded to me as if I was completely unhinged by suggesting that doing therapy had risks. Most therapists, like most people, need to sell their services to support themselves. I have strongly mixed feelings about Eminem and Rhianna, but I often find myself listening to their lyrics: "I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed. Get along with the voices inside of my head." Yes, I have many monsters, and I don't think I can ever be friends with them, but I also don't know whether waking them up would be productive. I need to do more and think less.
hmmm, an interesting take Sunrise. I think most of us here have given up on befriending the monsters and need to give them the boot. There is, however, a reason that we develop distorted thoughts and believe them, they served us at some point in some way.... gah, life can be so hard. I love the song
Like any treatment, therapy has consequences - that's kind of the point of it. No med is ever without side effects, either. With therapy, the key to success is the relationship with the therapist. There are lots of kinds of therapy, and they tend to differ based on how structured they are and how directive the therapist is. For me, I am naturally oppositional enough to not want any therapist to tell me what I should do, so I lean more toward talk therapy where the therapist mostly listens. It's like dating or friendship -- you have to look around for a good match. And like any relationship, if it feels uncomfortable you talk about it (to figure out what the problem is). There are no "monsters." There are just human struggles, urges, feelings that we all carry. Therapy is essentially a healing relationship, which can get uncomfortable when you talk about the things that brought you there. It would be like an MD having to briefly touch a broken limb or give you a shot -- there may occasionally be discomfort, but it is in the service of healing. The best thing therapy does is allow you to accept being human. None of us are monsters. We are all deeply flawed.
Sadly, but respectfully, I would like to degree. I am a monster, or at least I have lots of monsters hiding beneath my surface in the darkness. I think I have given up looking up for an individual therapist after about a dozen attempts, some lasting as long as six months. I am still doing group therapy, partially because I think the other patients are more insightful than the admittedly cantankerous therapist "leader." Too often for me it seems like therapists have been a surgeon attempting to amputate my diseases leg, and they succeed in cutting off a leg, but as fortune favors me, it was the relatively healthy one. At that point, I think it would be reasonable to switch surgeons. I understand that therapy is an investment and takes lots of work, but my own experience has been that therapy has been an Enron or Madoff type investment, looks good, lots of great short term perhaps and definitely in hindsight unbelievable short term returns, and then the brutal reality of bankruptcy.
No reputable therapist would ever tell you what to do. If they do then find someone else.
Their role is to listen and point out different angles which you might not have considered before.
They also correct false assumptions about yourselves such as everyone hates me. They would go deeper into things like this to find out where this came from which is an essential part of the healing process.
They would ask for your proof about that hate and give you a reality check. They enable you to explore unhealthy behaviours and to suggest healthier tools to use instead.
...and if I might add, it is possible that some or all of those monsters are just the figment of an overly anxious mind [aka false assumptions] and wouldn't be lurking if you didn't have anxiety.
Thinking too much, perhaps a strain of anxiety which blossoms within me, can be dangerous - I think it may be the root of many of my problems. Or, as Annie Dillard more eloquently explained in Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, we are all monsters: "I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wandering awed about on a splintered wreck I’ve come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty beats and shines not in its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them, under the wind-rent clouds, upstream and down."
I too believe in monsters. I also believe that the therapist owes you respect. No, she doesn't have to agree with you, but treating you as she did is out of bounds. I heard from a former psychiatrist about a male patient with DID. (Dissociative Identity Disorder). Just one of his "alters" was a gay male. This was the 1980s, and that alter began to test positive for HIV. (All the others consistently tested negative.) The man's therapist was determined to continue his efforts to integrate these alternate personalities. Numerous other doctors, concerned that one alter kept testing positive for HIV, tried to urge caution, given that AIDS back then was a death sentence. The therapist scoffed and worked to integrate all of the alters. And he did succeed. But the patient now started testing consistently HIV+. And eventually he died of AIDS. I had heard about this patient and asked my psychiatrist about it because (1) I frankly didn't believe that DID or "alters" really existed, and (2) I found the entire story wildly improbable. But my psychiatrist, whose integrity I never had any reason to doubt, said, "It's all true. I knew the doctors involved. I knew that patient."
Hi I'v had counciling, and now about to have therapy for ptsd, not once never has a therapist psychologist, referred to me as being unhinged, not about risk with therapy, because discussions, with therapist they would choose the most suitable therapy, they told me no magic wand as to whether it would definitely help but after suffering so many years I'm going to try. Again regarding a councilor, therapist, describing someone as unhinged, I'd say they're unfit for title,or they're unqualified, and would describe the as a " quack ", either way would report them to the medical authorities. Don't let incompetent comment label you
Thanks for the helpful comments. My perhaps main problem has been that my neurological challenges, focus failing, and poor sleep have caused or perhaps been the cause of my psychological challenges. One of my first therapists convinced me my memory problems were real and led to me getting perhaps misdiagnosed as having a more cognitive impairment. Another therapist, helped encourage me to get diagnosed with ADHD. Yes, the diagnoses were from competent professionals and the therapists recommendations were for assessment, but mind body connection is real
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