FEAR!

[CatsandCheese]

What do you do when your spouse drinks and is CRUELER than usual and you know you should get away but you fear for the cats, you had hip surgery last summer and still not that strong yet and now agoraphobia returns. Afraid to stay. Afraid to leave. Going to try to go to an Al Anon meeting if I get braver , can get the garage open, and HE doesn't stop me. No friends. No family. LOVE my cats. I've survived so much hell in 61 years, so what am I afraid of? Just seeing if writing this helps.

[Dolphin14]

Hi

I'm very sorry you are going through this. You have right to any emotion you are feeling.

We can survive many things but eventually we can break.

Can you look up Al Anon on line meetings?

🐬

[CatsandCheese in reply to Dolphin14]

That's a great idea! I just looked for meetings CLOSE to me. I remember you! 🫶 🐬

[Dolphin14 in reply to CatsandCheese]

I hope you go and it helps you.

That's so sweet, thank you

[Irishisme]

I was in an abusive marriage with an addict. Started with alcohol. The best advice I can give you is the “unknown “ is better than what you’re going through right now. The sense of relief I felt after I got him out outweighed any fear I had about what I would do without him. Contact local support groups and agencies. There IS a way out. Good luck 🍀

[CatsandCheese in reply to Irishisme]

Almost there. Where the misery is greater than the fear. I've got to get a support system. I need to find out what is wrong with ME that I have stayed in this situation. Also - why does saving myself make me feel GUILT. It's messed up.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to CatsandCheese]

Q: "why does saving myself make me feel GUILT."

A: Because you've been trained to look out for someone ahead of yourself. You can learn a new way.

[Y6789]

I'm sorry if this sounds rude but you should be your main priority, everyone else should be second. Please leave. Please. Finish this chapter and leave for forever.

[Nothing_but_books]

If you have ANY fear for your physical safety, get out of there.

If agoraphobia stops you from leaving, have the police escort him out.

If he stops you from leaving, call the police.

Please stay safe. If he threatens to hurt your cats, he's dangerous.