Feeling purposelessness

[WaterMyMind]

I am just still struggling with the feeling that there really isn't any point to me being here. I go to work and then do some programming stuff but a lot of times I am just staring at my phone trying to fill the time between myself being awake and asleep. I struggle with motivation a lot. But mostly, I just don't feel any "point" in life. I know that my loved ones would be sad if I was gone, but that really isn't a "point" to me if that makes sense. It isn't something I take for granted, but it doesn't feel like it ends up doing a whole lot to mitigate this feeling. I think part of it might be that I am just not working enough. I have a part time job. I am a college graduate but I was never able to get a full time job related to my degree. In the United States, there is this whole thing going on where many, many people are struggling to find work. Deep down I am afraid that getting this full time, degree related job wouldn't make the feeling go away but it's worth a shot. At least it would allow me to live on my own and develop my own life. The monotony of everything is wearing me down. There isn't a whole lot of novelty or enrichment in my life, and many of my friends/loved ones are either far away from me. Every day is just so boring to me. Everything is kinda boring to me. Even things that I normally enjoy doing are just not that engaging anymore. It kinda feels like I am just becoming a husk, and the best I can do is increasing the antidepressant dose so at least I don't feel intense sadness about it.

[Ineedelp123]

hi …I know exactly how you feel my life socks and I need a friend

[Sunrisetabby]

What can you do to water your mind? Do you have any activities or hobbies that you enjoy? Are you involved in any volunteer work? Any music or sports projects? Gardening? Pets? Pottery? Is there anything that excites you? Are there any meetup groups in your area that you can join?