Feeling down and alone: This is my... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Feeling down and alone

alicej
alicej

This is my first post in a while but thought it might help to get some of my thoughts out which just keep going around and around in my head.

Mostly of my thoughts are about not being good enough for anything. I feel like I’m not good enough at work or my friends or family. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking things or not but I always feel like the disappointment. I don’t have many friends and those that I do have I went to uni with. They’re all off working in the field we studied in and I’m just a fast food worker (it’s not what I want to do but I don’t feel good enough to be able to go and do something my that involves my degree). I know is shouldn’t compare but they have successful lives. I also feel lonely because I try and support them with their life events like liking their social media posts or writing happy birthday however when it comes to me and my life events they don’t like any of my posts (I get they don’t always show up but not a single one) and I didn’t even get a happy birthday from them this year.

The fast food work makes me feel like a disappointment to my family too. I’ve even had comments like “is that what you’re going to do for the rest of your life, flip burgers?” Nothing I do seems good enough for them and the more I think about it the more depressed I’m becoming because I don’t feel like I can change my life.

I’ve also never had a proper relationship which is another reason I don’t feel like in good enough and that there must be something wrong with me. The thought of this actually made me cry when a baby advert came on today about the fact I’m probably never going to get that.

Probably rambling on a bit but I just feel so down about myself at the moment and I feel so alone.

18 Replies
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Hidden
Hidden

Hard to explain. But I have the same problem. People forgot my bday too. I Remeber people’s. It weird.

I don’t know how to bridge the self esteem problem.

But the job you have is just until you find a job. As you see the world is being taken over by an invisible virus and doctors have died. People lost their jobs. We learn health is important. Not positions.

You got a degree and that is such a great achievement. You are good enough. People usually go and gain work experience in their feild at a lower position to gain experience. Experience will help us gain confidence.

Hidden
Hidden

Oops I deleted what I was trying to say it’s really hard to explain this topic. I also have the same issue since 2010 I have been going to school for different certifications and courses and now I’m almost finished my degree. When I finish these programs I then end up not getting a job in the field because of some sort of in inadequacy I feel.

I understand that in order to feel confident a person needs to gain experience in the field maybe at a lowerPosition with the lower pay and when you gain that experience you’ll feel confident

With the pandemic going on a person will realize or should realize that health is what matters in family and friends. Because as you saw Doctor’s died.

Position and net worth does not equal self-worth.

It’s a great accomplishment finishing school. And you did that I did that.

There’s a feeling that is attached when we say and feel that we don’t feel good enough. And that not feeling good is attached to a memory or a past feeling or event that caused us to feel that or there’s a connection there trying to find that connection is difficult I’m not sure how to.

There’s 7 billion people out there you will find someone when you’re ready it’s just. It’s hard to find good people where are you have something in common with them. But but you will find someone if you look.

alicej
alicej in reply to Hidden

I completely understand the inadequacy feeling which I guess is quite common. I guess that overtime the experiences of rejection had lead to that feeling. It’s not just one event but several and I can see how they could contribute to that.

I know that’s a lot of people and that maybe it could happen but I have tried to look for people. Like you say not all of those have been necessarily good. It’s just feels like a hard subject for me

Hidden
Hidden in reply to alicej

It’s funny you say that. Yes. I’ve been rejected my whole life. By my family, friends, jobs, boys, and more.

The most interesting thing is if you read every success story it always starts with rejection and failure. But they never give up. Lol.

alicej
alicej in reply to Hidden

Sorry to hear that. Yeah I guess all those stories do start from that. Maybe that gives us all some hope

Hidden
Hidden

Oh so you having a job shows that you have so many good qualities like responsibility, punctuation etc. etc.

Hidden
Hidden

Hey that job you have pays bills. It’s temporary. Ya. There are doors out there. Opening for you. For me too. After pandemic of course lol. There is a virus killing people. It’s showing me there is more to life then a title or position.

Hidden
Hidden

I believe that people around us the nay sayers have an effect over us.

I also believe there is no mistake on places we are at in life. I think our choices and people in our lives can influence them. But I think fate And destiny will be the same.

I think sometimes like the job we doing, the experiences we have, and the people we were or meet it’s not an accident.

And we will have all the things we need for our future.

What I mean by this is I believe that the suffering or experience we have in our past will help us in our future.

I hope I wrote lots for you to feel your not alone.

alicej
alicej in reply to Hidden

Yes thank you for your replies. I guess things do sometimes happen for a reason and that in the future things could be better. I just wish that I could see that it does workout eventually and that those doors do open

Hidden
Hidden in reply to alicej

I have seen magic. The more positive I am. The better things seem. However. Easier said then done. And hard to be consistent. Because there are factors contributing to shit happening ahha

Hidden
Hidden

I read what you wrote. My story is slightly different but I understand your feelings and situation. I'm pretty lonely and blue as well.

alicej
alicej in reply to Hidden

Yeah it’s a hard thing to feel and dealing with it isn’t always easy. If you want to talk anytime feel free to message.

I hear what you are saying. Sometimes I feel like I constantly have to work hard to compensate for whatever it is I was programmed to believe I am lacking, based on other people’s standards. I have low self esteem, which I am working to improve. You mentioned a huge accomplishment, your degree, and others are making it sound like your current job isn’t “good enough.” Well, you have always been “good enough” and you always will be. Be kind to yourself and do what makes you happy (within a healthy boundary of course 🙂).

alicej
alicej in reply to Nature9

Thank you for your words. I’ve got a few things I plan to do today to try and make me a bit happier. Just also keep thinking back to the situation

I’m happy to hear that you have some activities planned. I’d like to know how they turn out for you. I will not judge you. I’m more interested in learning what works for you and what doesn’t. It also helps give me some ideas on other things to try. I’m proud of you for having the idea and plan to try something today. It's a start 😊.

alicej
alicej in reply to Nature9

I have a dog to walk so was able to get some exercise which helped for a bit. I got home from that, ordered some food and tried to take my mind off of things by watching a series on Netflix. Can’t say things went away completely and they’re there again now but it did help for a little bit. Thank you, it is. Hopefully you can find something to help you too 🙂

Nature9
Nature9 in reply to alicej

I’m glad you were able to find some time for yourself. Yeah, I went for a walk around a pond earlier, sat at a coffee shop briefly, then came home to be reminded of why I needed to get out in the first place. One thing I am thankful for is that I’m in a better mood than I was yesterday. The walk helped. I have an adult family member with mental illness that I support. It gets tiring when I want to relax and focus on studying. I’m an older adult who went back to school.

What u can do is be the best burger flipper in town, go the extra mile. Be the best at what u do. Always do the right thing no matter what. You will feel proud of yourself and that is best feeling in the world.

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