Not sure why I feel this way - Anxiety and Depre...

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Not sure why I feel this way


I just feel alone and like the life has been sucked out of me. If I go and do something I feel better at the time but as soon as the activity is over it’s back to the same old thing. It’s like I have to constantly be doing something I enjoy or semi enjoy in order to just feel ok. I don’t get out of the house much. I very rarely do something where I need to actually get dressed and do my makeup which makes me sad. I’m the kind of person that really thrives off of getting out of the house and doing things. Problem is my husband rather just stay home all the time and do nothing. So in turn we usually do nothing. He doesn’t get it and now I’m at the point where I have no one to talk to or no one who understands.

22 Replies

Sounds like depression. Going out just hides the symptoms. Are there things you can do without him? I’m on pool teams. I suck but billiards is boring to watch so the hubs stays home. I’m out about 3 hours and I get to eat while I’m out so no cooking bonus. Can you find something like that?

Wish I could but I don’t drive.

I lyft or taxi most of the time. I don’t like driving late at night. My eyes aren’t good. That’s why I suck at billiards but I’m fun to have around. Grandma with pool stick!

Maybe I could do that. I don’t know what I would do though. Lol. I don’t know anyone.

I didn’t either. That’s what’s great about a billiard table or darts or anything like that. People want to include you.

Very true. I’m just socially awkward. Lol

They’re drinking. That doesn’t matter either. 😆

Lmao! That’s true too!

I’m sorry to hear that.

A coworker of mine that just moved for this job used the app ‘meetup’ to meet new people with similar interests. She had a good experience with that and now has a group of close friends bc of it. I haven’t used it personally but it might be worth looking into.

nicetry in reply to OdoubleU

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My husband and I are the opposite — me (the depressed one) would prefer to stay home unless I have no choice, while my husband is way more social. We try to reach a happy medium but it’s hard. Making a connection maybe through “meetup” or a support group could help bridge the gap for you.

I'm sorry to hear that. My question is, why does your husband feel the need to make you stay at home? He's not your boss. Have you talked to him about this issue and how it's making you feel? Sometimes, though, you will need to be at home and not doing something, so I wonder, is there an activity you enjoy doing at home? Also, this sounds like depression. Have you considered seeing a counselor for this?

He doesn’t make me stay home. I just don’t drive due to health reasons and he doesn’t like to go anywhere. His perfect day is just sitting at home doing nothing. I am the complete opposite. I know I am definitely depressed. I was diagnosed with depression a long time ago. I just don’t take any medication for it because I got tired of being a Guinea pig. I have tried so many different depression medications and nothing has worked. Plus a lot of them gave me horrible side effects. So now I just try to manage it on my own. I don’t have any friends where I live so it’s not like I could go hangout with them. Nothing really distracts me enough at home cause then I just think about how I have been in the house all week. I have been able to manage my depression pretty well but now it’s starting to really get to me and I don’t know why it’s just getting this bad out of nowhere.

What about counseling, even if that doesn't involve medication? Now I know that his perfect day involves sitting around at home, but maybe he could make a sacrifice for you sometimes and go out? Otherwise, there isn't equal give-and-take, and you might end up harboring silent resentment, which could possibly hurt both of you in the end.

This is just a thought, but you might try going back to see someone. If you've been self-managing for a long time, maybe it's time for a fresh start with someone. I understand having a difficult time with it, but it doesn't have to be the same thing all over again. Tell a new therapist all of this and share your concerns about being a Guinea pig. You will get out for the appointments and maybe you can plan a day around it where you do something you enjoy before and after your appointment. Keep at it and find the solution you need with someone knowledgeable. At a minimum, tracking down a great physician for you will keep you busy!

Go volunteer if it makes you more comfortable to get out. There are so many places that need volunteers and even more so around the holidays. You might meet some like-minded people and help others that might be struggling.

You can make virtual friends on Facebook or other platforms and, in time, meet them in person or you can involve in helping others and stop thinking at you. You present now a starting depression, take care.

Sounds like my situation. But I like staying home. There’s definitely something you can do. I Started volunteering for cats. You meet people! You have to push yourself. How about the gym? You definitely should try meds, they can make a big difference. Can I ask your age? I’m 51 and told I’m too young to be sitting in lol. So I got a little job, volunteer and try to get to the gym. Walking helps 100%!!!! I struggle myself! Maybe a Zumba class? Set a goal. Sometimes I think “is this it?” I try to be grateful. Good luck!!

This is the way I feel a lot of the time. I have depression and anxiety. When you’re doing something you can kind of push it aside. But it always comes back when you stop unless you get help with it. Can you see a therapist? There are many ways to work with it besides drugs.

CBT, exercise, meditation etc. Try to get out. What your husband doesn’t want to do shouldn’t apply to you. People are different and have different requirements to be happy!

We are all here to help...sounds like depression...

Are there any places near you where you could take a pottery class, paint, cooking class or another class you would be interested in. Our local farmer's market has classes. My daughter has taken two baking classes there. I took a class at a local glass studio then ended up going to open studio and doing different projects. At first I was nervous going alone but since I enjoyed it I have meet new people and made a few friends.

If you are married to an opposite, you have to find a friend to do things with. Meetups are great for that! Gyms are great, too. Volunteering is great o find like minded friends and help yourself as you help others. =) If anxiety is part of your problem, magnesium is great to get rid of that and be calmer.

People like us who get depression often, can't depend on partner to understand and help us. so we need to take our own actions to manage the pain. I suggest you go out and do things which eases your pain. Honestly that is what I do.

I get it. Actually sounds like my life. I was about to say that my husband quit drinking and now he doesn’t want to leave the house but that would only be partially true. He did quit drinking 2 years ago and our lives changed dramatically but he never wanted to go out even when he drank. I did want to go out all the time and would go out all the time, just not with him. But then that got old bc I drank too much and felt like I was constantly running. Now I’m not drinking, not smoking, quit 3 months ago and feel boring. I’ve been tired all the time. I started Zoloft in January bc I was anxious and depressed now I’m not anxious and less depressed.

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