For so much time I've been judged and criticised for my way of thinking and the way I see my life.
I wonder why? Why people come across to me with same arguments
Why I just don't get over it?
I will find someone else.
It's so immature suffering for a breakup
Don't give him so much power on you
He is enjoying his life while you are suffering
I wonder why? Why I have to get over my feelings, I already know my relationship is over but I'm not allowed to keep my love, I'm not allowed to feel bad? Sometimes I think why people really don't take serious the feelings of other.
So because my relationship is over I need to replace my feelings and force myself to love someone because I can't be all my life crying a love that is gone. So what is love for people, something than can be changed in a couple of weeks? For me it is different, there many different ways of love. Love for family, can it be replace?
Love for friends, can It be replace?
Love for a man or a woman, can that be replace? If it is replaced was it truly love? That is how I think
One thing is I love him and the other thing is I keep with my life.
If he is enjoying his life, meeting people is ok, congrats for him but I won't do the same if I don't feel it just cos he is doing it
At the moment I haven't found that peace but doesn't mean my feelings will ever change
That is what people cheat, some people don't take relationships very serious. In my case when I decide to be with someone is cos i am willing to have that person for the rest of my life that is why I try to be careful but I fail.
I'm sorry for being that hard, I'm not saying all people is like that but almost every day I listen to same, it's a bit tiring
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vanessi
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I feel I am so alone on this. I have people here that supports me like you but still feel bad. My mother is putting so much pressure on me. We have many arguments, she's been supportive but I feel cannot be living here anymore. I don't know what to do because I haven't found a full time job and this is killing me
Is part of the problem the fact that your mom wants you to have a full time job? If I remember , you had to make an adjustment to plans fairly fast. Feel free to PM me.
I think sometimes people don't want you to be hurting, sometimes people don't know what to say when you try to share, and some just say stupid things cause they don't know any better. Your right your the only one who knows how much your hurting, and you have to just take as long as it takes, it's a loss, your grieving. If your telling the same people your still hurting and your not getting support, stop talking to them about it, and find another more supportive place to share. Your sharing here, and nobody is going to judge you or tell you to just get over it.
Hi Vanessa, There are a ton of “I”s and “me”s in your long post and I can sense your pain. You are obviously really into “you”. Is there any way you can find someone that needs help and focus your mind on them. Or volunteer at a nearby hospital. Any actions like that can change the way you are seeing the world. Best of luck with that!
Hello, those "I" and "me" are because I'm having a bad time, I can't even help myself how am I supposed to help others with their issues? To be honest I try to be very very supportive as much as I can but my mood changes a lot during the day, I don't want to be rude to other. My post sounds kind of selfish to you, I'm not trying to be like that.
The situation I'm going through have taken me down. I have no energy for anything, I always feel tired, sad, in pain, anxious and now I think I'm being affected by an old eating disorder, find really hard to eat in the mornings. Really it is not that "me" but I'm having a bad time.
There are not many those volunteering things here in my country. I'll see what can I do about it but if I feel very bad just to be around people, how can I handle it? Tonight I would love to be in a hole under the ground, a place where can be alone, without bothering people and getting old till I die.
Hello Vanessi, Sorry your still having a rough go of it. You definitely don't want to be in a hole even if that's how you feel. I haven't asked you and not sure if anyone has but have you thought or seen a doctor? Be it a therapist or family doctor you can talk to in person and maybe be put on something to help give you some energy and lesson the depression even for a short time?
I'm seeing a psychologist but it is not helping me, I don't feel very comfy with her. I do want to be in a hole. I wonder why I want this life if I'm not happy in general. One day I had everything and at the next day everything was gone. I don't know what will do with myself, I feel very bad
Trust me I know what your going through just read my post. I thought I was doing well and then life gives me a smack down. Has she put you on anything medication wise? HOPE it's one of the strongest human emotions.
Your post is not selfish. You came here and poured out your heart vanessi. That's what we do here and there are so many to support us and understand what we are going through, i definitely understand the place you are at. There is nothing wrong with it at all and i can sympathize with you.
Please know this, love that is true is kind...it is there for you through the good AND bad, that person is the shoulder you cry on and the person who picks you up outta that hole you speak of, not puts you in it. Very few people find that kind of love in my opinion bc it is their soulmate who gives it to them. Don't give up on finding that but DO take the time to grieve what you have lost now or it will follow you into future relationships and bite you in the @ss, this I know for sure!
If you don't feel comfortable with the current psych you see, please do find another one. You need to be able to go to this person with your all and if they aren't the one you feel you can do that with, they are of no help to you. Sometimes it takes a few to find the "right one" that fits you.
Best of luck and love, hugs to you and please know you arent wrong for feeling what you do!
Vanessa, I am encouraged when you say you’re “trying”.There must be a medical facility near you where you can help people and get your mind on them. However if it would be easier go to an animal rescue facility. There you can take dogs out for a walk and maybe you will take one home. Just keep trying? I think you have the courage to do this.
Everyone heals at there own speed and your suggestions are great but she will find something that is suitable for her to do when the time is right for her. Vanessi This forum is here so that people can vent and look for words of encouragement from those who might be familiar with what they are going through, we are here to help one another and listen, you are not being selfish for wanting to vent and talk about what you are going through and how you are feeling. We all do it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with vanessi being "really into her" right now. She is hurting and lost and was just expressing how she feels. Sometimes in life thats just where we are. She needs help and support from us as a community bc she obviosly isn't getting it elsewhere. Lets all just rally around and help and sympathize if we can.
There are times in life when we can't go outside of ourselves and help others to feel better. We have to reach that ledge where we help ourselves first. I have been where she is and I can see what shes saying.
My volunteering in this community helps me with my problems? In my opinion I believe that vanessi would greatly benefit from doing same. Thank you for caring about her.
I agree with you tutumama, just imagine today while I was walking to my work I was crying i couldn't resist it and starts having problems for breathing. What did I do? Nothing I had to control myself cos the kids would notice. I have to force myself to do it cos I have no option but I will avoid everything that make me feel bad.
I hate that things like this take over our entire lives and believe me, I know where you stand bc i have once stood there. I remember how it can be to feel like you are using every ounce of energy just to take another step, another minute, another day. Once you get past that feeling then it is always good to help others but right now I think you do need to focus on you, it's how you will get better....and you will, this too shall pass as they say. Love and hugs!
You're welcome. I think alot of times how hard it is when you don't have a good support system to help you either. I'v struggled with severe depression, anxiety, MDD and PTSD more than half my life and i know it is a battle just to get up every morning. You will make it through this and one day you'll look back and realize how strong you really are Vanessi!
Just so you know, everyone heals at their own speed. Some people don't understand because they have a different emotional make up. I wouldn't let what they say get to me. I've found that there are just some people I can't share my pain with and to be honest if that's all you talk about with people it can get tiring.
I know how you feel. I am still dealing with pain from an 8 year marriage that I separated from over a year ago. I do share with my friends but I talk about a lot of other stuff too so I don't sound so negative all the time. Haha!
There is always God. He is a great listener and never gets tired of hearing from us.
I've gone to support groups too and they help. Everyone expects that your going to talk about your pain so there is no judgement.
they say it takes half the time of the whole relationship time you were with someone to get over it, well, lets hope not, but after my 15yr marriage ended, it took about 5-6 years to move past the grief and loss enough to where I was moving forward. It's important to go through all the levels of grief and not jump into any rebound relationships that are a quick fix and usually fleeting in the long run. Let the grief run it's course, and yes maybe get some meds to mellow out this deep end of emotions your in, I needed help, and I'm glad I did get on antidepressants. Turns out I am predisposed and it's just chemical for me, I have to stay on them. But your Depression may be temporary, and you may only need them till you start moving forward, not everyone has to stay on meds. as there are different types of depression.
I always pray to God. I think he knows my suffering. Today is a bad day. I have many memories on my head! I blame for everything. I wish I could wake up and feel ok again
I hear you. I'm waiting to hear from the courts so I can pick up my paperwork and serve my husband with divorce papers. I've been pretty emotional these last few days too. I'm trying to keep myself distracted. I picked up a new book yesterday and started reading it. It helps.
I hope tomorrow is better for you.
Love, Peace and Joy to you sweet friend.
I have the same problem here at work. People just judge others instead of interacting with eachother.
I don't know about you; but, I think it's because those attitudes need to be shut down or else we slowly lose grasp of our humanity. That means being social and productive in our relationships. I hate it that people thrive off of cutting others down and that it's acknowledged as a tactic to relate to other people.
Yes. At the moment is hard to share my thoughts and feelings with people around me. They just simple don't understand how I feel. I hope one day I can feel ok again
I know exactly how you feel . I have only been truly in love one time and I am 42 was married for 6 yrs but o my in love truly one time I don't think you can just get over that in a few weeks either and I was in love with a total lie and narcissist which I had never even heard of until him. I tell my self every day there is no life with him for anybody everytgin ? I feel in love with was nothing more than a lot and a game he has played with so many different ones I remind myself of all the hurt and loss I endured thanks to him I remind my self he is why I am now on all the medications and man is depressive and feel I have nothin To live for and I have to hear the same ole bull snit you do I was with this guy for almost 10 years and been thru mortal he'll since day one if I really tell myself the truth but if he was to text or call I would jump for joy and why I have no idea none what so ever I have to tell myself everyday even though he is out having a good time playing his game with another while I'm stuck in my bed asking why I'm even living anymore I still silently tell myself if it was meant to be it will be and one day karma is going bitch slap him so hard it's his loss not mine not that that helps but just letting u know your not alone dear . Hang in there
Thank you. Well my love haven't changed at all for my ex. We started talking again and he says he loves me, he is the same man I fell in love with. We haven't talked about coming back but I'm patient I'm not expecting anything from him so if it is meant to be it will be. I have always been judged for the way I feel and still I have no support from no one! Hope you can find the peace you deserve beautiful x
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Feeling Alone and Lost
Why I need somebody 
