Am I a bad person?

[alostsoulxx]

I did a very horrible thing today.. I did not think about it..

It was over when I realized it, and by over I mean already done.

I got to learn something I am not supposed to know about my ex. I got to know that (confidential) information a way I shouldn't have, Its something concerning her health. Not only that but out of shock I spoke to my friend about it, I then went and spoke to another friend, and then to two other friends... I shared the news I was not supposed to know to other people that are not supposed to know either.

I was just not thinking straight, I don't know why I got myself into this, I don't know how I did that. I just blanked and found myself there with that pieces of information.

I needed to hear what my last friend have told me. The things she said woke me up.

Last week I came to know about somethings my ex have said about me to other people. I am not trying to revenge, I never thought I would do such thing. I have already done it. Its over. Its horrible.

I know what I did is very bad, but my intentions were never the way they are looking. I know that there is no way my ex would know about this.. That I know and that I've told people about it... I just don't feel like myself. That's not me. I wouldn't do such thing... but I have already done..

I feel horrible, I feel miserable, I feel very guilty and regretful. I feel very perplexed.. HOW DID I DO THAT. WHY DID I DO THAT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. WHY DID I NOT THINK ABOUT IT. WHY DID MY ANXIETY NOT WORK THIS TIME? WHY DIDN'T IT DO ME ANY GOOD FOR ONCE??? FOR ONCE.

[Dolphin14]

I think the best thing to do right now is apologize and make amends.

We all make mistakes and hopefully those involved will understand

🐬

[Hidden in reply to Dolphin14]

Good advice Dolphin14.

[alostsoulxx in reply to Dolphin14]

There are no modes of communication.

[Dolphin14 in reply to alostsoulxx]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[BluesTraveler in reply to alostsoulxx]

You can make amends to yourself, like journaling, guided meditation for releasing regret, or if you have a therapist, telling them..

[hypercat54]

We have all done things like that before without thinking. It doesn't mean you are an awful person or anything -but just that you are human like the rest of us.

I understand how you feel, I really do and validate your feelings. But try and put it behind you and accept it was wrong but will learn a lesson for the future. Have a good cry then pick yourself up and carry on with normal life. Putting some distance between this will help you feel a bit better about it in time.

[alostsoulxx in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you sm hypercat.

Do you think I should do something like what dolphin said? apologize or make amends?

I dont think I can do any of them..

[BluesTraveler in reply to alostsoulxx]

I think forgiving yourself comes first. If it seems impossible or not yes apologize. The most important thing is what you think of yourself.It's all about moving forward with as little baggage as possible.

[alostsoulxx in reply to BluesTraveler]

thank you bluetraveler

[Ambler58]

Your not a bad person , you've beaten yourself up and trying to make amends , let's hope love will prevail , all the best .

[alostsoulxx in reply to Ambler58]

thank you ambler

[catsrock]

We have all done things we regret. I hope you can forgive yourself and find a way to peace. You are not a bad person, you are human and humans make mistakes.

[alostsoulxx in reply to catsrock]

I am trying to forgive myself and move on. Thank you catsrock

[lovemydoggy]

It doesn’t make you bad. Everybody makes mistakes. We all do. Do what’s in your power now. Make amends if possible. Learn from it. Give yourself grace.

[alostsoulxx in reply to lovemydoggy]

I am trying my best, thank you lovemydoggy

[Hidden]

First, forgive yourself. Second, try as hard as you can to apologize to others. Third, the fact that you feel guilty and recognize your wrongdoing shows that you do have a moral compass.

[alostsoulxx in reply to Hidden]

am trying my best, thank you scansnap

[Teaching]

It's a mistake and the good thing is that you realized it. Apologize and move on.