Bad job or bad person?

A few days ago I say this video about what if we could change our past life. So it got me thinking even though I do wish I could change some things from my past i think I wouldn't be the person I am today. Yeah I know I have anxiety and my depression comes and goes but its not that I would choose have that but the other things that came with those 2 problems yes. Right now I'm struggling alot with my bad temper. Something really small sets me off like a match and i'm just hurtung myself. Its like if this job I cuertly have is a bad seed. And day after day that bad seed that was implanted inside of my head and heart is really making me a less likable person. I get mad easily and the worst part it geta really hard to let the anger go away. My bad roots are growing really deep into me that sometimes I think I need anger management. The tiniest thing at work really sets me off. For example today my coworker saw a kid spill his drink on the floor and insted of cleaning it himself he suggested to me shoulf I clean it or do you want to do it. Like bro common sense you saw it happen then go over there and clean it. And that small thing made my whole shift be a nightmare. I was mad and rude and just wanted the day to be over. Just rethinking that event pisses me off again. I know I can't take everything so personal but somedays i feel like just quitting my job. And that would be right now something i would like to change from my past. Maybe if I hadn't taken that job I would have never experienced depression or constant anger. Maybe I wouldn't be such a bitter person. How could I have allowed a job aa a cashier destroy my biggest dream. I wish now I hadn't taken that job. Because if I look back at the person I used to be and the person I am now. No way in hell would I have accepted. I might have open my eyes to the way humanity treat you or others but this year and a half is not worth it because of who I turned into. All tje negative things I have inside my head became stronger over this year and I regret it so bad. Dont get me wrong I thank God I have a job to pay for everything I have but if I was given the option and redoing my past i think that job would be the one thing i would change.

[hypercat54]

I totally understand what you are saying as I had a job like that and my friends said I had changed and it adversely affected my mental health. There is usually a silver lining though and mine was the urgent need to become solvent again which I did.

The jury is still out on whether it was worth it x

[Mrspjsmom]

It's never too late to change. Sounds like a different job would be good for you. Until then try to concentrate on the kind customers and co-workers. I have always made a point to smile at cashiers and tell them to have a good day. If I am in line behind a rude, nasty customer I also tell them that I hope the rest of the day gets better. All of us should treat each other politely with kindness and respect. HUGS!!!

[Hidden in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Ive had customers who have had my back and yes it makes me feel alot better that I even share that moment with my coworkera and friends. In a way a person that is on your side makes it easier not take the bad comments so serious.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Hidden]

So glad. I hope through the years I've done the same for at least a few people.

[Grateful71]

It sounds as though this job is not fulfilling what you want out of your life . When I was stuck in job I hated I started with making sure I had a hobby, for me it was walking in the countryside. Then took up a course at night school to give myself more options. I desperately needed to feel less stuck. Another job came along and with it some good friends. I think you have a good idea that your anger is not just about work but maybe deeper things in your life. I wish you peace 🙏