Believe it or not?

[EricJones]

A lot of people on HealthUnlocked have told me over the course of about two weeks that people dont pay attention to it, that theyre staying to themselves. Either thinking about themselves or on their phones and thinking about what they for dinner or thinking about their own problems. I can't drill this through my head and have it be my reality because I dont quite believe it (mostly there) and I dont feel it. Help me understand this in a way that could have it sink in. I know its a tall task, but someone please try.

[hypercat54]

Why do you think that you are so important in stranger's lives that they must be thinking about you rather than themselves? Why do you think they would do this? Do you mean something to them and for what reason? What do they want from you?

[EricJones in reply to hypercat54]

these are all good rational questions that deserve rational answers...but i'm thinking irrationally so the answers I give you might not be all rational. And i'm also talking about acquaintances when i'm, talking about people staying to themselves and not caring.

[Hidden in reply to EricJones]

Hello vertual is vertual real life or none vertual is that it's not healthy to be focused on social media life is for living we should all limit our time on here, and not get too involved as people may seem nice on a computer but may be different in real, this is a site for giving and recieving advice help and support of course friendships can be made over some time but end of the day our own family and friends work colleagues,leisure pursuits etc should be first and foremost in the none vertual world, it doesn't mean people don't genuinely care about the welfare of others on here,anyone that is kind is enough to go to bother to reply obviously is, well I'm going offline now my soaps are on I wish you well 😊

[EricJones in reply to Hidden]

All my concerns had to do with the real world, the outside world...i'm not talking about the online "virtual" world

[Hidden in reply to EricJones]

Oh sorry thought you was talking about Hu

[EricJones in reply to Hidden]

no but its okay

[Lucy2023 in reply to EricJones]

Interesting post 🙂. Do you feel comfortable enough to share your "irrational" answers? I'm curious to know what they are.

Do you deeply care about your acquaintances, is this why you are struggling to understand why people are this way?

[EricJones in reply to Lucy2023]

some of my irrational thoughts are people are noticing me notice them...or that they can notice the background sounds that i notice. or can people tell that i'm overhearing their conversations? most of these answers are no but i still cant grasp it to be true

[Lucy2023 in reply to EricJones]

I think I misunderstood your post. Having read your reply though, it sounds like you are in flight mode/survival mode caused by fear or anxiety due to severe stress which is causing hyper alertness and hypersensitivity to people around you and in your environments, hence noticing every little thing going on. You are not the only one that experiences this. Apologies if I've misunderstood your reply as well 🤔

[EricJones in reply to Lucy2023]

yeah you summed it up greatly i couldn't have done it any better than that...what are you in the therapeutic field or medical?

[Lucy2023 in reply to EricJones]

No, neither, I work as a nursery teacher, so no experience with mental health as such apart from my own daily experiences and observations. Psychology as a whole does interest me though as it's the main subject that has the biggest impact in our universe.

From my own experience, I discovered by buying a punchbag I was able to get rid of anger and anxiety, or at least lessen it. This helped with being oversensitive to everything around me.

As for people only caring about themselves, I think that has become the world we live in now. I feel things changed massively during and after COVID and also with the rapid advancement of artificial intelligence. The ripple effect has been devastating and has changed people for the worse. We also have to be hyper alert to make sure we don't offend anyone, which could result in losing your job. That's a lot of pressure. Humans cope well with consistency, routine and relaxation. In my country, we have none of these now, so no wonder there's been a huge increase in mental ill health.

Wow, I've turned into an old lady ranting away, lol. I hope you find ways to relax as I'm sure being aware of too much can make you feel overwhelmed and tense. Thanks for writing such an interesting post and apologies for the long reply 😄

[EricJones in reply to Lucy2023]

where you from?

[Lucy2023 in reply to EricJones]

I'm from the UK.

[EricJones in reply to Lucy2023]

i love london, the only place i've been in the UK

[car103]

I hope I get this. I think I work on something similar. I had to first realize these acquaintances aren't really friends. I see them walking the dog or at pilates everyday. We chat (I chat) but they don't actually care. When they say, "how are you? What's going on?" - it is a polite way of saying "hello." They don't really want to know. So, it's a perception thing. I am trying to remind myself that the answer is, "Great, how about you?

All I can do is try and catch myself. And, I am trying to get over that hurt that that people care about themselves. I'm the one oversharing because I'm the one without a social base.

What do you think?

[Xene in reply to car103]

I can so relate to what you’ve said and it made me laugh as it brought back a fond memory of my mum. We were out running her usual errands in her wheelchair and when we went into the bank the cashier said to her “Hello, how are you today?” So my mum went into a long description of all her health issues. When we got outside I said to her “Mum, when people ask you that they don’t really want to know.” She looked up at me and said “We’ll she asked, so I told her.” Bless her.😂

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Xene]

I've only recently taken that on. I suppose years ago I never had anything very wrong with me, so the answer was always "Fine" anyway. But then there was a shift in my health when it was so overpowering that I used to answer honestly. I think anyone who asks me how I am now hasn't given the question any thought or they wouldn't ask it (unless they mean it), so I say "Fine". My partner never asks me how I am, so being blind, he doesn't know. He's the only one who needs help.

[Midori]

The virtual world can be a trap for folk who have mental illnesses, whether its a minor depression or a major problem. Even here can become difficult when we get the occasional troll. I take regular breaks and apart from here I don't do Social media.

I used to live close to London, but I have moved further West over the years, until I can't go anywhere except the Atlantic. And I can't swim!🥴

Cheers, Midori

[4merBassistMedic]

People do think about their own lives, but if they're here, they think about others too. Maybe it won't hold to the frequency you want, but I know I appreciate any interactions that are helpful to me, and possibly to the other person as well.

It's not guaranteed, but it's an opportunity.

I hope you continue to use it.

[EricJones in reply to 4merBassistMedic]

"but if they're here"...like on this website? Continue to use what?

[4merBassistMedic in reply to EricJones]

Any usable techniques you read about, and the time that they share adding content. It won't all be useful to you, but sometimes(at least for myself) I need to share, read about other people's journeys, and find reasons not to lose hope.

I'm not saying it's easy to do, but it's better for me, than the pure loneliness I used to fee.