Hello Friends, Need your opinion on my current situation at work. I work with someone who's almost 30 years my junior. We were friends until she backstabbed me a few months ago then we're no longer friends. I don't want to waste energy on helping trash given her behavior.
Now she's really irritating me with her lazy, stupid ways. I feel angry that I have to work with people that's so low level. Although I have to remind myself that I was young once and had to develop my current habits now.
My question to the community is whether my intolerance for her is from her betryal or from her lack of skills due to work experience and generally being young. Also, the manager doesn't care about the crappy level of output so that kind of enables her crappy behavior too. I feel like my complaints will fall on deaf ears cuz the manager is too lazy to manage someone she likes.
Mind you she wanted to continue to be friends after she betrayed me but I declined. She even enlisted our manager to help but I blocked her since because I don't appreciate her disrespecting my choice when I told her i'm not interested in being her friend.
She's avoided me in the office for four months now but she's coming in and making it annoying with her laughter and general lack of office ettiquette.
What are you guys' thoughts?
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dwhp
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From experience you can't control a work colleagues behaviour, only your own. It doesn't matter what she does or doesn't do unless it reflects badly on you. Then you have to take action.
Having worked in offices all my life always cover your back. Make a list of all the work you do and if you have to do extra because of her etc. Then if it ever comes back to you then you are covering yourself.
I know its hard but try not to give her too much importance in your life. She is only a work colleague and that's it. End of. Ignore her. She can only affect you if you let her.
Oh and for what its worth I would have done the same as you. Lol
thank you Hypercat54! I’m exhausted from dealing with stupid sometimes. I really don’t want to have to start an HR file on her. I feel like that’s what my department has become anytime I tell the manager about the incompetence in our department. She starts a damn file like we going to HR one day.
this kind of toxicity is draining my energy in finding another job.
I will take heed and not put so much importance on her presence or behavior.
I totally agree with what everyone is saying. I’m a concierge/receptionist at a Senior living community. The behavior from my supervisor and some of my coworkers at times has been totally unprofessional. I work 3 PM to midnight shift M -F. I’m 65. The young maintenance guys who covers for me during my meal break does not sit up front in a position to greet people and check on the security camera. I’m too old for this crap. He even tells me he is getting bored. At least he has a job. I record notes in my phone.
Thank you Shnookie. I think it's time to leave this toxic department. There's another older person in the group that's equally lazy but she adds drama to her interactions with me. The fact that she cc's my boss and nothing is done about it says alot about the culture in our dept. I don't have to subject myself to shit cuz that's what the dept has become.
Thank U for your wise advice. For right now I’m staying put. Among other things, I’m fighting off from being evicted from my apartment where I have lived for 26 years. The kid’s supervisor told me in confidentiality today, that he might fire him. He also told the supervisor he is bored ! Have a peaceful Friday.
I have counseled friends , especially older workers , that feel stuck in some sort of “dysfunctional “ workplace.
For some of them the only answer we could come to was to do something that wasn’t that easy. The answer was to take the expectation level down. Not easy to do mind you, but when you’re stuck, there isn’t another job or you can’t move laterally or upward, and it doesn’t seem like there’s a way to get away from the “stupidity “, then the choices become very narrow indeed.
If necessary, lower expectations.care less about your production but don’t get fired.
Hi Craigliving4Jane, thank you for your advice. It's hard for me to take the expectation level down because it's a basic minimal level that they can't even meet. I hope to find another job where I can work with people who are at my level.
Hi good advice from everyone. I've worked in environments with people like this and it's depressing.
I coped by being answerable to myself, as long as I could account for doing a good job that's all that matters. That's in the short term and long term sounds like you need to get another job where you are appreciated.
Hi WaitingGame10. That's exactly how I feel when I see people who do less than me get the awards and promotions. I have another 15 years until I can leave the work force and staying where i'm at is really starting to impact both my mental and physical health. I've aged so much in two years that I attribute it to working with sloppy people. I tried to be compassionate but it's hard when they send rabid and incendiary emails. It's hard to be objective when you work with morons with a black heart. I hope I will find another position soon.
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