Update & searching for calm - Anxiety and Depre...

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Update & searching for calm


Yesterday I was trying to decide what to do about my current job. The office job I wanted fell through, I did well on the interviews, they just decided to restructure. Right now I don't have it in me to put myself out there. At the same time my coworker is making it unbearable at the shop. Yesterday I worked with my manager... we were catching up, had spoken in 2 weeks. I was debating on what to say... I hate confrontation... when I saw the task I had given my coworker the day before done completely wrong, it was the final straw. Before I knew it I was letting it out... I said it was her or me. My health is more important & I can't do this. My manager listened & got my boss involved. I told her all the issues from her being on her phone all the time (Bluetooth, watching TV), bring her dog, doing nails, disrespectful attitude to me, not knowing basic things about shop that after about a year she should. My boss tried to kind of defend her... but my manager pointed out for me to speak up its serious... that it's not going to get better, if anything it has gotten worse because of the coworker. That when it comes down to it they would rather lose her. I know my boss was freaked out, especially with my manager going on vacation for about a week. I won't be working with that coworker anymore, she'll be losing hours. She doesn't want me to stress about it... easier said than done. I'm a bit worried since the coworker knows I interviewed for the office job... but what will be will be.

My body feels horrible bad muscle tension & headache... still itchy too... Having a hard time telling myself it's anxiety. Hate this feeling wanting to go to hospital because you think it's a horrible disease... but you do & the shame, guilt when told it's anxiety... then you don't want to go. I have group & therapy today, so there's that. Just having a hard time...

20 Replies

If anything mel....you played your cards perfectly....and when or if this co-worker says anything about you going on an interview...it stacks the cards in your favor even more because they see how serious you are about having to put up with a half assed worker who doesn't have the business at heart, she's just collecting the paycheck. They already said they valued you over her and for good reason. They may have wanted to test the waters with some new blood, but that boat sank when you said she screws around all day and is basically un-professional.....the being glued to a cell phone at work is a no go for many employer....and hopefully yours will catch on that the business would suffer without you. Good for you....now be good to yourself....good job getting all that stuff out and now just let the cards fall as they will....your in good shape....

melbrown in reply to fauxartist

My beautiful friend, I love you so... you always have the right words. I am off rest of week & busy with love ones. Tomorrow a wedding for a family friend. Saturday dinner with a dear friend that my husband has known forever & haven't seen in a long time. And Sunday is our monthly potluck with our close friends. These are things I'm trying to focus on... even thinking of DYI spa day tomorrow. I hope you have been good to yourself too💗 It makes me happy to see you around here.

fauxartist in reply to melbrown

laughter and love....best medicine ever.....get your joy on as our good friend Lisa says....

I’m sorry that you’re going through all this stress at work. I’m glad your manager backed you up and you won’t have to work with your toxic coworker anymore. Work stressors are tough because we tend to take them home with us. I’m assuming you have seniority over your coworker. My advice is if you have to deal with her in the future keep a detailed log of all her inappropriate behaviour. I don’t know if where you live is a one party or two party state when it comes to consent to recording conversations. If it’s a one party state you could secretly record any conversations you have with her and present it to your manager. If she’s as bad as you say if you can prove it they would likely fire her. I hope things calm down for you.

Thank you. 💛 Yes, I have seniority over her... been there much much longer & have store key. The funny (not really) the manager & I used to not get along... we kept professional but tension was there. When my stuff got real bad last summer, she became more understanding. I think she got how important I am to the shop & got me better. I don't know the recording laws in CA... have been keeping track of what she does. I was able to give my boss dates on some of the things & facts.

It sounds like you’re doing all the right things. I had a supervisor who used to give me a rough time for no reason. I recorded a number of conversations where the supervisor said that even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong but he was going to tell the boss I was screwing up. I took the recordings to the boss and my supervisor was fired.

Well done for speaking up!!! And good of your manager to back you up x hopefully it will all get better for you from now on x try not to worry now that you’ve done your part x

melbrown in reply to Hope4321

Thanks... I normally don't speak up... normally shove it down & try to roll with it... trying to work on it. Hopefully things improve or I'll walk & have to trust things will be okay.💛

Well done Mel ,just concern yourself with you and your family 🌤

Hi Alan been wondering where you've been... all our ladies are back🥳. Thanks. Been jamming to Jessie J trying to get happy.

Haha good choice ,ide forgot about her but she is back on my my list 🎤🎼🎸🙂

(((((( ❤️ )))))

melbrown in reply to Starrlight

So much love Star💗💗💗

Starrlight in reply to melbrown

I looooove you!


I know the feeling. Coworker stress and chronic pain. Nothing really gives. Going to hospital is added stress of another bill and ling hour wait time.

Definitely not funtimes. I have GERD, always gets bad when stress is high. Plus I get high anxiety about going to the doctor. Been checked out & blood work last May... everything good.

You did exactly the right thing. In fact, you had no choice.The other worker was dumping on you because she thought you were too timid to speak up for yourself. She was 100% in the wrong and has no excuse. But your boss thinks that if no one complains, everything must be fine. Congratulations. Don't worry for one second what she thinks. Did she ever care what you thought? You know the answer to that one.

You go girl!!!!!! You spoke out and let them hear the truth you did the right thing, how you feeling today

Feeling sloth like... but a tiny bit better. We are meeting a friend for dinner tonight.. we haven't seen her in forever. How are you beautiful?

I hope you have a good time Mel, i hope she say some jokes to make you laugh, im doing great can't complain, tell Hans i say hello

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