UPSET WITH MYSELF

[Littlebit2cute]

I wanted to go to a Small Group at my church tonight, as time got near, I had a meltdown and didn’t make it out the door. I just don’t know what I am going to do about this agoraphobia! It’s so frustrating! I have been watching my church on-line for months now because I can’t seem to be able to face the crowd there. It’s like when I am in a crowd I get disoriented and kind of space out. My anxiety medication helps sometimes but other times it doesn’t so no matter how much I pray 🙏, how much I tell myself we can do this I wind up having a panic attack and not leaving the house. I want to serve the Lord but how can I serve Him when I can’t even make it to church to get involved. I got some good advice the other night but unfortunately it cost a lot of money to do everything I need to do to try to take the steps I need to come from this. Unfortunately, I am retired and on limited income and haven’t found the resources to get the steps needed to make it through this. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know?

[Lilacdreams]

Hi there,

I understand having a breakdown before even walking in - I did this recently to my significant others graduation, felt defeated, cried and vomited in the car - but still somehow made it in. My ears were ringing the whole time, but I managed it (likely thanks to the medication I took before even leaving the house.)

I will say - for one - you do not need to leave your home in order to serve the Lord! He is forgiving and hears your prayers from home.

How far are you from your church? I have panic attacks while driving, so I practice just sitting in my car alone and driving around the block. Maybe try doing the same, and if you’re feeling well enough, drive to the church just to sit in the parking lot on a quiet day. I believe in you!

The Lord knows and He sees your efforts! I will be praying for you. I wish you all the best ❤️

[Littlebit2cute in reply to Lilacdreams]

Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice❣️Also, thank you for your prayers 🙏❣️It really helps to have others share their stories and encouragement and prayers❣️

[booksandblankets]

I wonder if going to church just to chat with your pastor would be manageable? Then it's just one person, but you still get the practice leaving the house and going to the target place. You don't even need to talk about your mental health with your pastor, you could just tell them you want to make small talk the whole time.

[Littlebit2cute in reply to booksandblankets]

I have spoken with my Pastor’s wife who is also a Pastor at our church and she knows about my depression, anxiety and agoraphobia which she understands is a genetic mental illness on my Mom’s side of the family. My mom had schizophrenia along with anxiety and panic disorder. I thank the Lord I don’t have schizophrenia. She has me on the prayer list at church.

I did sign up to try and go to an event Saturday morning Bible Study Brunch on here. I will see if I can make that. It won’t be so crowded. Please 🙏 I make it there.

[Hidden]

I will pray for you.

[Littlebit2cute in reply to Hidden]

Thank you❣️

[Ellamaye]

What books and blankets said... your church seems important to you so what about a meeting with your pastor to kick things off?

[Littlebit2cute in reply to Ellamaye]

I have spoken with my Pastor’s wife who is also a Pastor at our church and she knows about my depression, anxiety and agoraphobia which she understands is a genetic mental illness on my Mom’s side of the family. My mom had schizophrenia along with anxiety and panic disorder. I thank the Lord I don’t have schizophrenia. She has me on the prayer list at church.

I did sign up to try and go to an event Saturday morning Bible Study Brunch on here. I will see if I can make that. It won’t be so crowded. Please 🙏 I make it there

[Ellamaye in reply to Littlebit2cute]

That sounds like they care so will they maybe help out even more if you can't make it to the less crowded event? Your trying your best out here..

[Ellamaye in reply to Littlebit2cute]

Just so you know you trying to battle your way against many mental health problems Just to get yourself physically into a church to do what comes super easy to alot of others will definitely be acknowledged by who your praying too 🙏 x

[Hidden]

can I ask what else have you tried to find relief and what good ideas did you receive?