Trying to motivate myself

[CanuckAnon]

It’s been snowing here all day yesterday and all day today... I’m out of gas for snowblower and snow is just too heavy to shovel. I’m trying to get laneway cleared so it’s less work for other people when they get home from work tonight... I figure I’m home and not doing much except reading my phone, trying to spread some ☀️To those that need it.. paying it forward I guess the best way I can!

The gas stn is like 3.5-4 km away walking is not gonna be fun but it must be done. I just can’t seem to get motivated to get dressed for outside world as I’m so darn comfy drinking coffee, cuddling with puppies trying to be blissfully unaware of just how much snow is out there... 😉

It’s like I want to do this but for whatever reason I’m not motivated enough to.... 🤔 or find myself unable to put 1 foot in front of other. I had a nap this morning so I’m not tired.... frustrated with myself for my inaction, laziness or indecisiveness just to get it going and get it done...

Not looking for anything - just thought if I get it out maybe I could get my butt off couch, out from under blankets into snow gear and out the door.... weird that anxiety hitting me freezing me at this moment... I’ve been having good days lately.

So it’s out of my head... waiting to see if I can get moving....😝 at least I can take some beautiful pics of fresh snow along the way eh?! 😊😂

[Starrlight]

Don’t forget to make a Snowman ⛄️ along the way 😉

[CanuckAnon in reply to Starrlight]

Lol ya well they take time and when i finally get out the door I will want it over with ASAP so I can get back home and just get laneway cleared so I can come back inside to my semi hibernation mode of yesterday and today.... 😉

Edited cuz auto correct doesn’t think for me 😂

[Starrlight in reply to CanuckAnon]

😂

[Sillysausage234]

Buy a cake for yourself when you get there ....eat it on the way back 🧁

[CanuckAnon in reply to Sillysausage234]

I could get some fudge factory fudge... great idea!!! Maple fudge... I’m such a Canadian eh? Lol

[Sillysausage234 in reply to CanuckAnon]

A negative situation into a really positive one .....I love fudge 😃

[CanuckAnon in reply to Sillysausage234]

I have to do it... breath in breath out... I’ve washed swept and vacuumed floors 3 times today so far, washed all dishes, cleaned kitchen and bathroom but still freezing when I think of leaving house... wtf is wrong... it’s not like I don’t leave house- I can. I have no negative crap spinning just abject fear without being afraid... it’s strange. I just can’t get out the door, I’ve dressed for it, got too hot so undressed... now I’m back on couch... sigh I have to do this I keep telling myself... wtf is wrong with me?

[Sillysausage234 in reply to CanuckAnon]

Maybe o.c.d.......think fudge and only fudge .

[CanuckAnon in reply to Sillysausage234]

No I clean to distract myself or when I’m trying to avoid stuff... I’m not sure why I’m avoiding leaving... it’s not like it’s super cold out-5C maybe... it’s just snowing so it’s not like I will get wet like if it was raining... I’m feeling frozen... this is not me... I’m anxious cuz I’m chain smoking something fierce... maybe it’s time to medicate to get me passed the threshold of doorway, then down walk, then laneway and onto road to the snowmobile trail shortcut thru forest....

[Sillysausage234 in reply to CanuckAnon]

JUST DO IT!!!!!!say that 10 times then go for it don’t look back

[CanuckAnon in reply to Sillysausage234]

You are right ... I’m doing it,... getting snow stuff on now... got dogs outside to do their business as I can’t take them... they chase sleds... fudge glorious fudge glorious fudge... thanks needed that kick in the butt... 😉

[Sillysausage234 in reply to CanuckAnon]

✊😊

[CanuckAnon in reply to Sillysausage234]

Well didn’t get far... got front porch cleared enough to walk out door.. walkway well got maybe 1m (not sure what that is in American sorry) clear.. it’s horrible heavy crap I can’t physically lift. 🤬 2cm of slush under 8-9cm of granular with it still snowing hard. 😕

I can’t stand this physical brokenness I have... (sorry screaming- no response needed I am in process of realizing that I have to ask for help.... stubbornness gets me every time... 😊

Thanks for helping me get outside door and in turn made me realize that asking for help from a person is not a bad thing

Probably will end up being appreciative for being asked for help... still want fudge though🤣😊

[Sillysausage234 in reply to CanuckAnon]

youtu.be/xnUNL53zM9g(Not working as expected?)

[Sillysausage234 in reply to CanuckAnon]

Virtual fudge ....for at least trying

[CanuckAnon in reply to Sillysausage234]

Thanks 😂😂😂☃️Virtual snowman back at you...

[Depresseddoglover]

Something I learned in therapy is ACTION before MOTIVATION. The more I think about doing something the more difficult it becomes. I always throw on a podcast to turn my contemplative mind off and put one foot in front of the other to get me going.

[CanuckAnon in reply to Depresseddoglover]

Ya I ended up medicating as I had no need to all day as I didn’t feel anxious or in pAin till I tried to leave. I had psyched myself out a few times b4 writing here.... I just needed to get it out.... thx for letting me know what u learned. 😊

[misslillie]

It's the cold doing it to you

[CanuckAnon in reply to misslillie]

It wasn’t cold... lol it was mildish. If cold kept me in I would never leave. I think I was not medicated so I panicked or whatever... after I medicated I spent quite a long time outside a few times. 😊

[lorianxiety]

Im a like that though i have to say that the thought of seeing snow and lots of it would be enough to create an igloo,though thankfully its ok in better weather,but im pretty much ruled by whats going on outside (weatherwise),and have had to take med.to get me out.its hellish and i dislike myself for having to waste a tablet or half for that reason.....hopefully you dont have too many days like it!!

[CanuckAnon in reply to lorianxiety]

Me too... I don’t usually thank goodness. I usually smoke my whacky tabackey during the day but I didn’t as I did not feel anxious or anything.... my mistake as my unmotivated ness should have clued me into something being off.