AI & Poetry

[Gandolfication]

Over the past year since ChatGPT and large language model AI exploded onto the scene, I've been immersing myself in it, using it, studying, reading, writing and teaching courses on AI & Law to other lawyers and judges.

Along the way, it has been interesting to see some of its applications in mental health such as Standford's Woebot (remarkable CBT chatbot), which I had used off and on for about 5-6 years, and now Wysa.

ChatGPT and other generative LLM chatbots' ability to interact with, write and, in this case, re-write poetry, can be a strange look into what language itself is and how we use it. Here's an example from today, when I asked ChatGPT to re-write in the second person, something I was feeling and had sketched out first in pencil. It completely re-wrote mine, adding all the rhyme scheme.

In the depths where thoughts and shadows blend,

A version of yourself, this side of consciousness, attends,

This moment, a transient ache, in finite grace,

Yet deliberately, you choose the present's sights to embrace.

Noticing the symphony of now, a deliberate choreography,

Scheduled, a return to worry awaits in measured chronology,

Regret, a specter fading, a thing of the past,

In this introspective dance, do you hate yourself at last?

The echoes persist, a self-loathing refrain,

Yet the question lingers, etched in the mind's terrain,

Why this hatred, a tormenting thread,

Until the epiphany blooms—self-love instead.

Realization dawns, a gentle and profound wealth,

No need to harbor hatred, embrace the self,

In this moment's sanctuary, a newfound embrace,

You realize, perhaps, you don't have to hate.

[davidthecoder]

I use ChatGPT every day as well. It has been quite transformative for me. I use it for learning and coding. It is like the teacher that I always wish that I had...the younger generation will be fortunate to have this technology.

But it also going to end up replacing many jobs. But this won't be the first time the labor market has been majorly disrupted. Before the industrial revolution, 90% of people worked in agriculture. Today in the United States, it is around 2 percent.

[litethatnevergoesout]

what was your original? that’s still more interesting to me even after the spectacle of AI society.

[Gandolfication in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

For this one, I only wrote like eight lines and asked it to take expansive license in rewriting it, and it transformed it fundamentally.

My original for this one was not good.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Gandolfication]

haha. not good, well so you say. I’ll trust you though. I really have to check in with you, how have things been lately? you’ve got a great hobby I see.

[Gandolfication in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

Thanks litethatnevergoesout,

I'm struggling to want to live and continued to do any work to make money and support my kids.

I'm just really struggling to live right now.

So it's nice to be able to say that to your with no judgment and without obligating myself to put some new additional obligation on myself when I just fundamentally feel exhausted and burnt out and hopeless and pretty often just in total despair.

I'm still doing certain things and taking actions but being out of money and having a business that I'm just not working at with any consistency, things are really bleak.

I'll check back in here later today or tomorrow, but for now that's just good to be able to leave this without judgment

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Gandolfication]

no judgement at all man. i understand you totally. thank you for letting us know how your current situation is like. you’ve got a lot of stressors and things to be concerned about. the weight of responsibility to yourself your practice your clients your children. I feel a lot of dispair and exhaustion and I don’t have obligations of a business or clients. i know I shouldnt feel so stressed out or anxious but my brain is just trying to do the job it’s meant to unfortunately it’s a disorder. it’s paralyzing and too much. I hear what you’re saying. Hold on you’re going to make it. I hope you feel a little more ease each day. be gentle with yourself. my therapist says this to me a lot. I support you and want to give you more strength, keep going. you’re going to make it. do what you can and give yourself grace. it’s very hard but you can do it. a little at a time.

[Gandolfication in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

Thank you. I'm about to get started in a mediation for a client this morning. I don't feel prepared. I've been basically checking out of life mostly lately, except for getting up to take care of my kids, clean house, make food, etc.

I've run out of money and am dead broke and in debt. It seems and feels life is over. I've wanted to just disappear and end my life so much of the time these past days, weeks and months. It's exactly as you've put it above regarding stressors and the brain not functioning as we'd like, but rather as it evolved...and your therapist is right, for us to be as gentle with ourselves as possible, regardless of how we think circumstances "should" dictate we feel.

I'm in a place where I just don't know what to do next to survive. Life seems fleeting and worthless and painful.

I have 3 kids I love and care for; a really wonderful woman I also love and care for and vice versa, when I see her, which will soon be more.

I guess I just have to cling to that, and remember, things change. This present feeling won't last. I can do things including earning money that will make present and future moments better.

I wish you the best today as well. love and encouragement...

[Gandolfication in reply to Gandolfication]

I'm simply touching base back here. I handled the mediation call with the other lawyers, etc., and feel/felt a strange calm, even though the information wasn't good for my clients. My clients skipped it, and now are messaging me. This won't be fun; but is a reminder that so very much of life's experience is more a function not so much of what happens to me, but of how I respond to it. Not looking forward to what I have in front of me to do, but I'll take with me this memory that I have a lot of choice in my internal and personal experience, and what exactly I do.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Gandolfication]

keep up the good work Gandolfication, you’re right things can change on a dime and go either which way.

It most definitely seems that you have embraced your children and the chance of a new partner. very excellent ways to garner the extra ambition to keep you going. great news about your children needing you and getting up in the morning.

it’s a positive thing that you felt calm during your meditation call. even the fact that you’re clients decided they were taking that day off shows how much any right minded person doesn’t want to deal with any of that. you did it though. great achievement.

I hope the second nature of all of your responsibilities will override the fears and lack of enthusiasm.

[Gandolfication in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

Today, and recent days, I'm just frozen. Paralyzed by an anxiety that is more like a primal panic.

I don't know how to face this or to move forward. I'm terrified and ashamed of it, and thus myself. I've been plodding along like this, trying to to so many things to overcome these things and take action in my work, and succeeding less and less.

I feel perfectly wicked for not being able to make myself do the things I have the opportunity and the obligation to do, to make my life and others' lives better, including my own children.

It feels equally wicked, that my mind keeps reverting to just killing myself as a solution, and so far being unable to do so, and doubting I can. The languishing is the worst. I hate myself.

I might be able to make myself apply for a legal training position, with a company I've worked for twice before (so is a long shot).

I just feel spent. Burnt out. Overwhelmed and trod under by life and emotions and thoughts I can't control or seem to manage. I know I am not alone in this and that many others have felt exactly the same and faced similarly daunting circumstances. Some have made it through and some have not. This is so long now, and keeps recurring and lasting. My confidence is so non existent right now.

Can this really be life? And if it is, what point is there in continuing it, even if just from obligation?

I want to sleep, and I'll do anything to procrastinate work. I feel completely broken at this point.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Gandolfication]

Hey my friend. first your self aware and are blunt about your struggles, im sure anonymity helps that, but that’s remarkable any way you look it. You’re being honest with yourself and upfront about your trials and infirmities. That’s necessary in turning things around. momentum is not to be underrated. take small moves with breaks to accomplish solving some of these dilemmas that get in your own way. like bowling maybe, roll the ball, check on the pin count or no pin count if it’s a strike and ease back waiting for the ball return. grab the ball roll it, relax wait for the ball. the machine keeps setting them up keep knocking them down. the children need you, it’s engrained in us. They need us a lot. More than we realize, as long as you’re making them as happy and ready for the world, hang on to that. conquer it and put it in the bank. Same with everything else. one frame at time. Get a gentleman’s haircut. look good smell good feel good. I had a teeshirt that said that really large. I loved that shirt. The race between the turtle and the rabbit is very deep. The turtle won. A lot to learn from that story. Of course the rabbit slacked off, lingered and napped but he didn’t lose the turtle won. steady. Protect your thoughts. protect your children. Do what you can. Go very easy on yourself. gentle with yourself. There’s a way out of this and quitting life isn’t the answer. when was the last time you and your kids spent an evening goofing off and being funny, nonsense, really get to know each other. You’re your own superhero in this story and your children need that in you. you’re a conqueror that’s caught a bad loop. fixable. I hope I don’t come across as underplaying anything. I care and want to support you any way I can.

[Gandolfication in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

Thanks. I appreciate this.

I applied for a legal training consultant position I'd be qualified near me for if it is still open. So, I updated my resume. It's something; it's a start.

I do not feel like I am equipped to get myself out of the cluster of deadlines on current complex cases I just can't seem to face. I've somehow done it before, although once I hospitalized myself to avoid suicide, and it's just gotten harder over time, even with skills I have practiced.

I've been telling myself for 15 years, that I'll be able to do things to make life better. And it's gone the other direction. It isn't just completely perception or attitude. Life hurts. I'm sorry, I'm not very optimistic or resilient sounding right now. I'm so spent and cooked.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Gandolfication]

New updated resume is actually a major feat. put that in the bank.

Not being optimistic isn’t pessimistic it can be being a realist. Do what you can. I’m sure everything hurts right now. you are definitely maxed out. work in manageable parts.

George Lucas checked into a hospital after Star Wars. No one in England took his movie serious at all and did bare minimum. When Lucas got back he discovered his ILM were smoking weed everyday he was gone. They had 0 footage. he had to do it all hisself. he ended up losing his marriage. so Star Wars was an massive explosion he changed cinema, but witnessed it from his inpatient cubby hole.

Keep going Gandolfication.

[Gandolfication in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

I did not know that. Thank you so much for sharing that. That is mine bending.

I got an email back from the recruiter for the position I applied to tonight to set up a time to talk. So that's nice.

It's actually something I'd be interested in.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Gandolfication]

Hey that’s great! I hope it works out! I’m rooting for you man.

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to Gandolfication]

I tried to come up with a motivational reply I don’t know why I decided on Star Wars.

[Gandolfication in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

I like it. George Lucas always seemed like a pretty amiable and happy guy, so to hear such a recent pop culture example of someone who's such a titan of success in our minds, go through that, is buoying, and I need it right now.