Abuse from mom, ill, sprained knee, un-understanding therapists

[Against_the_current]

My mom's constantly telling me how terrible her life is and what burden i am. Today grandparents called for one minute and she went crazy and caused a scandal. Because when they asked me if i have a fever, i said I'm getting better instead of no. I was competeing with her, i had to have it worse. She had a surgery on her knee and walked and here i am being "served". It's a virus i caught and infected her but she thinks she was so stressed that she got sick. Waking up every two hours. Just vomited. My therapist took out my co-worker discount and doesn't understand i need to be alone because if for one minute talk, mom got furious, imagine 45 minutes where i want to talk about her. It sucks so much - the knee, the illness, my mom's abuse.

Wondering if i should get BetterHelp or something like that. For my therapist i will have to pay 25$ for a session (which is once per two weeks probably), for BetterHelp i will pay 65$ a week. But in Bulgarian money it's double so 50 vs 130. And i will graduate soon so i need savings. American therapists understand me better, are always there and it happens through chat, but my savings are melting and soon i will have no studies which means no more money from dad and how am i supposed to live away from mom. Recently payed a lot of bullshit with my bank account, trying to get better and im worried i will have to use it to pay rent while if i want to stay outside mom's. I'm no longer having any income - no more schoolarship in master's. I'm wondering if therapy can help at all, it's just so messed up here. Mom's just telling me how everything sucks and how terrible her life is and how she saw nothing good from this life. Sis has been coughing all month and mom's really upset. I can't recover like that

[CLB1125]

I don’t know what you have in Bulgaria but in the USA we have disability through the government if you are unable to work because of a medical condition. Maybe there is something like that in your country too? I know nothing about your country so it’s just a suggestion.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

I don't meet the criteria. I have to be killing people and seeing aliens to get disability due to mental health. And i have to be in a wheelchair or with a missing leg. Even though i feel like my leg and my cough will never heal, the government doesn't feel this way

[davidthecoder]

I found my current therapist through Open Path Collective. They are cheap (40-70 a session depending on therapist), but you have to be low income and uninsured, I am not sure if they accept European clients.

I paid a $65 one time sign up fee and then was able to connect with one of their therapists. I called them for a free consultation and he offered to help me for $60, which is 10 dollars below what he could maximally charge, since I found him through OpenPath. His normal rate is 120 an hour, so I am getting half off.

So far they have been helpful for me. It is really important that you find the right person for you, it took me 3 tries.

Also I just wanted to show support to you with your troubles here. You mentioned you are going to be graduating soon, that is a great accomplishment, especially considering everything you have mentioned here.

I used BetterHelp before OpenPath. It wasn't as good for me, and they sold some of my info to Facebook. They did get fined by the US Government for that (FTC), so I would imagine they don't do that anymore.

[Against_the_current in reply to davidthecoder]

Thanks for the info and support. Unfortunately it's really a lot

[blackcat64013]

Hi, I am sorry that life seems so stressful for you at the moment. Sending you 💓.

If you struggling for money to pay for therapy, perhaps you can try bibliotherapy which is really a fancy term for reading books 📚 and articles on psychology and topics of interest.

Of course, you can chat with us here 24/7.

Best wishes for 2024.

[Against_the_current in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you. I have books by my bed. One self help book, one of my university books because I study psychology and one Terry Pratchett's. Tbh I can't focus and also I'm 5th year psych student im sick of psychology books and articles, never find something that works. Those for school are highly scientific and absolutely unreadable and useless for self treatment. And those i find in pop psychology are like reading Cinderella after reading Homer

[SoporRose]

I really don’t know how effective the on-line therapy services are, but anything has to be better than your current counselors.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Exactly. And that I can't walk and go to their offices, all therapy has to be online. The thing is now it would be through text and mom wouldn't hear and foreign. Bulgarian therapy sucks

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Wouldn’t it be a good thing if your mom couldn’t understand your conversations with a therapist?

[Kitsune-Udon]

Hello,

I don't know what kind of therapists you are talking with, but are they giving you any tools and the guidance to use said tools? Or are they just listening? From one PTSD warrior to another, I would say if they are just listening and not giving you the tools you need, it's time to rethink the care you are receiving for sure. If you are getting the right tools, then you need to double or triple down on them. Use your grounding and diffusion techniques as much as possible. I have had times where I had to spend hours just focusing on using the tools I was taught. Yes, it's easier said than done and you are the only one that can do it for you. You can do this. You are worth it.

If they aren't giving you the tools you need and you would like to know what others do, please reach out. I'll be more than happy to discuss what I use to help me and give you some ideas. Better Help didn't work out for me. I used it for 3 months and I found it severely lacking. In my opinion, you would be better served by some books. However, you're experience may be different.

If you find yourself needing to make a decision but none of the options are good, choose the one that has the best chance of eventually leading to a better situation for you.

I wish for you good health, happiness, peace and love.

[Against_the_current in reply to Kitsune-Udon]

One was just listening. I asked for tools many times and she said "what are tools". The other one used to give me tools but now she's just hostile towards me and just tells me I'm an attention seeker and week for 30minutes and wants her more ney. Thank you, i think I could use some help. You knew i have ptsd

[Against_the_current]

I'm sorry yours is like that too. I just can't move out rn, my knee is sprained, i can't walk, I'm sick with bronchitis