Critical condition. Sprained knee, mom and dad

[Against_the_current]

Yesterday mom was really aggressive and spoke nonsense and i got scared. We had an argument about something mom bought for grandma for Christmas, dad's mom. I texted dad but delieted it. He called me and scolded me. Shattered me. Said we're stupid and buying stupid things and waiting for someone else to do our work. Said i should calculate my calories and research how to walk instead of dealing with that. And said i don't need emotional support. Was really mean. I threw up a couple times. I was just getting ready to go back to sleep again and he called and shattered me. How can I be "an adult" like he says when i can't walk, am coughing and am mentally ill? They can never understand they shattered me and that's why I can't adult

[davidthecoder]

Hey Against_the_current,

I think the comment that you don't need emotional support is definitely problematic. I obviously don't have all the details here, but just going by your post, it basically sounds like you are being treated quite poorly while also suffering.

From the title of your post, I am guessing you are currently unable to walk due to the sprained knee? I think sprains can heal pretty fast, a couple weeks maybe. Or maybe you have something more serious going on that is preventing you from being able to walk?

Anyways, they can only shatter you if you let them. Perhaps they are giving you a "tough love" type of approach, which I always found to be harsh. Maybe that was how they were raised. You can correct me if I am wrong about that, again, I don't have all of the details.

[Against_the_current in reply to davidthecoder]

I wake up and want to cry from my car condition and mom upsets me and when i seek dad he lectures me. And if i follow his point of view mom becomes even more problematic. You don't know how much i hate those ppl rn

[davidthecoder in reply to Against_the_current]

Oh, I can definitely tell you are having an extremely difficult time. I think it is good that you came to this group. Also, the fact that you are talking to two therapist is better than most people do. There are some that get no help at all.

I am here because I have generalized anxiety disorder. And some OCD. Meditation has helped me tremendously...but it requires daily practice and I have been doing it for years. It is not really a quick fix. These are complex problems, but there are plenty of people that do overcome them, even if it can be a long and difficult journey. It is not uncommon for people to need to try multiple different therapists, and multiple different medications when one doesn't work.

I imagine you are not in a position to live away from your parents. You might feel trapped for that reason. I can understand that.

The leg situation just adds another layer to this. I am in need of surgery that I have been to afraid to get, which affects my mobility. Many of the people on these forums are also facing significant hardships, so at least on here others will understand and are willing to listen and respond, which I imagine is the reason you came here.

[Against_the_current in reply to davidthecoder]

Exactly. I'm stuck. I have zero mobility and am fully dependent on my depressed mom

[CLB1125]

maybe Im being insensitive here but it sounds like your parents are very much a huge part of your mental state. It’s hard for you to have confidence in yourself when they are constantly tearing you down. Im sorry they treat you like that.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

Yes, they made this severe mental illness. If i had a normal family i would have a nobel prize by now

[SoporRose]

I’m sorry your mom got weird and aggressive with you. Of course you are sensitive to that after that kind of behaviour has been going on so long. Might I suggest that you not tell your parents and grandparents what the others are doing? Your family is too volatile and that kind of reporting will feel like tattling or snitching and will only get everybody riled up and that is harmful to you.

Is your mom taking care of you when she’s not talking nonsense? Are you getting enough food, water, meds, time to keep your leg elevated? She seemed to enjoy caring for you last time you had been in hospital, even if she didn’t do it perfectly

I know it’s hard for you to do, but turn off your phone or at least the ringer and don’t answer when your dad calls. If you do answer and he or anyone else speaks to you in an inappropriate fashion, say politely but firmly, “I have to hang up. Good-bye,” and then hang up and turn your phone off for at least an hour. Do that as often as it takes.

What does your doctor say about when you’ll be able to put weight on your knee? Did you get a brace for it? How about an Ace/support bandage? Did you learn about exercises to help strengthen your knee?

Is your sister at home? Enjoy whatever time you get to spend with her! And do take care of yourself.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

It's not snitching, i don't want her to know, it's just seeking support with her. If i snitched I would require punishment for her and i forbid them to say i said it. I am just her kid worried about her and needing support myself. And now she's gotten her period and won't go to spa (and calm and leave me alone for a few hours) and will be really evil and drinking because she's close to menopause and her periods make her even worse. I'm a her kid, it's hard for a kid to see mommy in this state. Even for her it's hard to see us in this state.

I have a brace

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

What do you think you ought to do?

Does the brace help?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

My dear life is hanging on this brace. I don't know. I'm stuck. Especially till i heal. When i heal, i will get myself in more troubles

[Celtic27]

Hi there its a shame that your parents need to grow up and start treating you with respect after all your there offspring please dont take on board there treatment of you please be yourself you deserve better all the best to you !

[Against_the_current in reply to Celtic27]

Thank you. I just woke up and they did it again 😭

[CLB1125 in reply to Against_the_current]

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here, so don’t get upset, ok? But maybe since both your parents are hard find support from, you start working at being independent from them. Try finding a part time job you can handle. So you have some financial independence from there slowly move forward to taking care of yourself and not depending on them for guidance and support. I know they are your parents and you love and respect them but sometimes parents are not capable of doing anything supportive for their children. They each have their own traumas to deal with. I don’t mean to be disrespectful to you or your parents, just giving you something to think about. My thoughts are with you every day.

[Against_the_current in reply to CLB1125]

Thank you. I'm worrying myself sick over mom's depression and cough. But im not well enough for a job and part time can't pay rent, bills and groceries. That's why I might give in to living with bf even though im terrified

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Moving in with a boyfriend whom I don’t think you know well it’s likely to trap you in another situation where you are helpless. I don’t think you want that. Please be careful and try not to make decisions based on fear.

With your stellar grades and academic record, I think you could probably qualify for scholarships, especially outside Bulgaria. Consider looking into options like that to get you away from your family with the financial support you need.