in need of support xx

[hannah1987b]

some days I feel Numb , some days I’m completely overwhelmed and days like yesterday and today I feel very flat and low .

All I want to do is curl up in a hall in bed and cry.

I wish someone - especially loved ones- could see and hear that I’m struggling.

My partner - he is younger than me. I have told him several times over the past year we have been together that when I feel like this I do t need or expect yih to fix it…. Just be supportive by showing you care and by being present.

We do not live together. I have two children and he comes over 3nights a week to stay.

We met one another at work. He too has been through a rough period of time in life however, isn’t scarred by childhood trauma and other traumas .

If have told him how I’m these times when I need it- how he can support me but he says away from it.

Is ur h fair to expect the same emotional support and commitment I show him ?

I have one real friend who I have been friends with for 33 years . My best friend. I can’t and wouldn’t put in her at the moment- she gave birth yesterday and is in her baby love bubble.

she has had childhood traumas too and we have been there for one another over the years. My best friend.

Family - turbulent- unreliable really. Don’t feel safe to unleash how I feel. Half wouldn’t care and the other half would worry and at the same time wouldn’t truly understand and tell me to shake it off and get on with life.

I dont really have a support system.

My kids dad - narcissist . Very difficult.

Who do I turn too.

I feel so very alone .

many advice would be greatly appreciated. I have social anxiety esp at work. I struggle with so many personalities and awaiting assessment for ADHD. I also have CPTSD, OCD-intrusive thoughts, GAD and depression , fibromyalgia and spinal issues.

I’m work I look after my kids 90% of the time. They see theirs dad one night every two week.

Both children have special needs.

I feel so flat I dont know what to do.

Appreciate any ideas or advice xxx

[yolie1984]

I know it’s hard being a mostly single parent. I don’t have much in the way of advice since I’m new to this insomnia/anxiety thing but you are heard.

[Sandpiper14]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this.

Have you sought any professional help from the doctors at all? Perhaps asking to join therapy could help so you could at least have an outlet, everyone deserves one.

In respect of your boyfriend I don’t think it’s unfair for you to expect the same emotional support back. To relate a little, I too have been feeling extremely low and anxious just only the last two weeks, I’ve told them this over text and the most I’ve gotten is aw you shouldn’t feel like that. I really want to open up more but they suffer with anxiety too.

But you know, I think we should both have these sit down conversations with our partners. Don’t be afraid I’m sure that he will want to be by your side during this difficult time.

I wish you well and hope you recover soon, hang in there💛

[LoveforAll41]

Hi hannah, I am so sorry that you don't have the support you need. I would maybe say again to your partner that they don't need to fix it, you just need someone to listen. You can also post here. You obviously have a lot going on, and I think anyone would feel flat, overwhelmed, and alone. I would also say to remember that it is okay to feel these feelings. It is okay to be sad, feel alone, overwhelmed, like we need a break from our kids etc. If you don't have access to therapy I really like David Burns book "Feeling Great". I wish you peace, hope, and strength.

[Lovesdogs2]

It’s just really hard simetimes, sounds like you have alott going on……all I can say is you are not alone. I have been isolating alot w no one to really turn too…I get it…

[khadijaaitlahcen]

hey hannah, it must be so hard for you right now. you must feel so lonely and abandoned. no where to turn too. wanting to talk to someone but not knowing if its safe. if your words and feelings and emotions are welcome with people. feeling turned down. and even if you talked to someone you don't get the comfort you need. people keep saying things but not understanding that you just want to be heard. not any advice. just heard and the feelings of care will follow. but people are not doing this. i think its sad that you have to tell people how they need to help you even when you are the one that is suffering. its their duty as human to already know what to do when you come to them with your pain and suffering. people cant emphatize with you. i think it is brave you came to talk about it here. want to know how to heal? you already took the first step: speaking about it. but a big advice from someone who is still going through this myself is to not seek anything from human kind. i told you it is sad that you need to tell people what depression is while you are going through it, but i think and believe thats why you are not surrounded by people who understand. i truly believe you need to understand yourself. i bet you have been taking care of others an forgetting yourself. i feel like you body is telling you to rest and to learn to understand it. depression is the result of neglecting yourself for a while. the healing is to go understand yourself and not figure out why people don't. i'm not saying give up on your family or work. not at all. i believe to be able to take care of them properly is to go relearn you. cause part of work is you, the worker. part of children is you the mother. part of relationship is you, the partner. you want succes in live. you need to fix you. stop. pause. and think. reflect on life. i don't know if you believe in God but i do. and I believe that if He wants good for someone. succes for this person lies in trails. one of those trails is depression. to build strength so this persons life can actually work. go read about psychology, children behavior, nutrition, brain, biology, education, communication, relationship... why? so you can have succes inall of it when you get out of this trail. its it temporary. so you don't need to fall in depression again. so life can be less hard. because you have knowledge and you'll know what to do. you are being heard being seen in your suffering you didn't leave His eyesight. it is not the end, its the start. start of living life with knowledge. life with succes. May you be hugged by peace, dear may you be hugged by peace.

btw don't expect people who are hiding their own feelings and hardships deep inside of them to understand you want to talk and show yours. all they know and was taught to them is to be quit and to not show emotion. its not like they don't want to sit and talk. they don't know what that is. its unfamiliar to them. i hope you didn't take any of what i said harshly. i said it with love and care. its just hard to show that with a typed message. and i apolagize for bad english. its not my first language.

sending love

Khadija