I am a single mom with two very different, but wonderful kids. Caleb is 18 and Amelia 17 next month. I struggle financially, mentally, and emotionally every day. Anxiety is the beast that likes to control me and my thoughts on my worst days.
In June my child support got cut in 1/2 because I didn’t know I was to call child support and inform them my 18 year old disabled son did not graduate. There is no getting it back unless I hire an attorney which I can’t afford. My child support is way more than what I make as a Paraeducator.
I have a boyfriend of 7 years that I live with. He is the main provider of the family, but horrible and incredibly selfish with money. I see us as a family and he sees himself separate. He lives way beyond his means and wants more than what we can afford. His mom, who is now in a nursing home with advancing Alzheimer’s, has never told him “no” and has always paid his way. He/we have a 2500 sq ft home in a beautiful neighborhood (in his mom’s name) that’s 2k a month. He has a Harley Davidson that is $550mo. He has a brand new King Ranch FordF450 that is $900mo. My daughter and I drive old beat up Toyotas that barely run, but are paid for. He pays house, truck, and bike and I pay for EVERYTHING else. Power, gas, food, cable, internet, cell phones, garbage, water, city fees, vet bills, dog food, clothing, school fees, doctor appointments, auto insurance, car maintenance, anything extra.... I was stretched thin with the full child support, but I’m excellent at budgeting and made it work.
With my recent dip in income, I’ve needed to lean on him to pay bills I no longer can and help out with all the little stuff I used to be able to afford but can’t. He blew up on me today because one of our dogs needs a vet visit and I hv no money. He told me it’s bullshit that he can’t buy a toolbox and extra fuel tank for his ridiculously expensive Ford F450 truck or buy a $300 ticket to take me or my daughter on a business trip with him. I’m sitting here with a $325 power bill that’s past due, a daughter who wants to know when we will back school shop, 2 dogs past due for shots (one with severe itching problem), empty fridge and cupboards, clothes that no longer fit (I’ve lost ton of weight due to stress), me and kids are in desperate need of haircuts, and my bank account is running low. I get paid once a month by the school district. I just got paid on the 1st. My boyfriend’s solution is to cancel cable and Internet and boot my daughter off my auto insurance (which her child support pays for) and force my 18 year old son with autism spectrum disorder and severe sleep disorder to get a job and pay rent.
I’m low income and can’t afford to live on my own. Low income apartments in my area have a 5+ year wait list and are riddled with drugs and violence. Even working a 2nd job wouldn’t afford an apartment for me and my kids out here. It would afford a studio in the scary part of town, but that is not an option.
I don’t know how I got to this point and I’m trying desperately to find a way out.
Sorry I went on a rant. Lol! I just need to get these toxic feelings and thoughts out. There is no where to go but up. I’m in pure survival mode and wish I had never left my cozy comfy little low income apartment and hard to come by job in N Idaho to move to WA for the boyfriend I’m with. He is proving to be another bad choice on my part. Story of my life. Oh well, the past is the past and I must live for today and make better choices for my future.
Anybody in WA state need a roommate or better yet, rent one of our spare rooms? Lol! If I don’t laugh I’ll cry.