How do I stop myself from sabotaging my life?

[8666]

I am trying to overcome my phobias, but I think some part of me doesn't want me to. I feel like I am "civil war" in my mind because one part knows I need to live a better life and not let my phobias run my life, but another part won't let go of the fear because it believes it's necessary. I think that's why dbt, cbt, breathing, and meditation isn't working for me; it's because part of me won't let it work. Does anyone else struggle with this?

[LilyAnnepuppy]

The self defense mechanisms I have built up include having fears and anxieties to protect myself. I have the tendency to be waiting for the other shoe to drop. But mindfulness helps. I can be safe in the moment.

[mrmonk]

I learned at a young age how to more or less peacefully coexist with my phobias. I've had them for well over forty years and I can honestly say they've never prevented me from doing something I wanted to do.

[Stippler in reply to mrmonk]

mrmonk - Thank you for sharing this. I have OCD and have learned to accept it and not take so seriously. It sounds like you have done similar with your phobias. This is a new way for me to look at it. Thanks.

[mrmonk in reply to Stippler]

You're welcome, Stippler. I have OCD too, and, though it's mostly phobia-related, I find it permeates other areas of my life. I do take my mental illness seriously, but it's always been a part of who I am and I've never thought less of myself for it. I sometimes wonder if people struggle more when severe mental illness overtakes them later as adults because they experience the loss of a "normal" life, or when they have expectations of what normality should be.

[LifeIsThePitts]

Leaning about the clinical aspects of anxiety and understanding Why they happen made dealing with my debilitating anxiety not such a mystery or foreign disease. Once I understood the reasons I do what I do to avoid and accommodate my habits, letting the disorder manipulate me instead of me being in control of my emotional actions and reactions, I began to build healthier ways of coping.

The anxiety guy, Dennis Simsek, has helped me the most of any teacher on YouTube. Look his channel up. I watch his videos while having breakfast. It's a good time to absorb new Ideas first thing in the morning, too. His Inner Child work is what ultimately hooked me on him, but he's awesome! He used to be a member of this forum too!

[EnergeticTortoise]

I feel ya, I think part of our similar personalities says 'I don't know who I would be without phobias' it's been a destructive little friend for so long.. Might help to find some role in which people need and appreciate you, like volunteering, at a nursing home or animal shelter. I don't know, it's just an idea , that I hoped you would find rewarding.

A reason to push away phobias because the reward is better, and your activities are relied upon.

[EnergeticTortoise]

Yes, I understand. like a little person inside of us is destroying us. I send Light and Love. I can only say i relate, and we can figure this out.