I was made by mom to travel to Grandma's house for Easter and i have been so brave but it's crippling. The conversations we had... My sister is growing up. She wants to leave and study at the Netherlands or something like that. She's not the same. She's growing up. Or she's imitating dad because she misses him and dad thinks he's a colleague student so now they both life rock n roll college students life but real college students life is "wtf should I eat today and should i eat today". And grandma changed my childhood place. They both say i escaped and im not visiting either of them. But i just can't. My doctors aren't putting me in a mental hospital so i put myself in psychological quarantine. So they don't see how ugly it gets. And so i don't get triggered. I miss the times when my family was toghether, my sister and me weren't broken.
My grandma wanted us to stay longer but mom said no and i hurried to defend mom while we should have stayed more. One more day rebonding with my sister, my childhood and not worrying about what to eat and my miserable accomodation where i am alone
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Against_the_current
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It can be so hard to know what to do in the moment, how to make a decision when you don’t have time to think. But I think that maybe your sister is smart to go to the Netherlands to study and get away. I hope she can make that work and that you, too, can find an escape.
I understand. Mental illness is completely unfair. It makes me so angry sometimes, mostly at myself, sometimes at Fate or whatever you want to call it.
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Verbally and sexually Abused 
Should I tell my parents?
