Do I stay or do I go?

Hello, I would really appreciate any and all advice . I have been in a relationship with my partner for over a year now, and we had a child this year. I love my partner very much, but he suffers with a drug addiction that causes me so much pain. I have been lied to more times than I can count and have had days of no sleep because of him and his addiction. I am trying my best to believe him when he says he wants to change and is trying but there has been no changes. I am lost in this relationship on one hand he is my daughter’s father and he’s a good man, but his addiction is something I cannot do anything about. He refuses to leave and says he loves me. I am scared to leave him and have him lose himself entirely to his addiction, but my mental health is suffering being with him. Any advice would be so appreciated.

[WilliamG]

Hello there, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. Drug addiction is no joke. It’s a complex and challenging issue that affects not only the person struggling with it but also those closest to them. It's totally understandable that you are concerned about your partner’s well-being, but it's also essential to take care of yourself and your child. Addiction is a disease and recovery is not easy even when people get professional treatment.

Your mental health is important, and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction is emotionally draining and exhausting. I should know: I put my partner through hell for many years, but I couldn’t stop until I was ready. You might find that setting boundaries and taking steps to protect yourself and your child lead him to realize that he needs help.

Have you considered seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in addiction and can offer guidance and support to you and your partner?

Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave the relationship is yours to make, and there is no easy answer.

Please take care and know that you are not alone.

[LadyZen]

I highly recommend you find a couple's therapist even if you have to go by yourself. I was married for 17 years, and when my marriage began to fall apart, I went to a marriage counselor by myself. She helped me figure out what to do about my marriage. No matter what you decided to do, you'll need support along the way, especially with a little one depending on you. The couple's therapist was there for me from my marriage falling apart, our efforts to try to put it back together, the separation process when things didn't work out, the divorce, and the aftermath to help me keep a stable home for my children.

[Amanba]

He needs an ultimatum. Go to rehab and get to stay in the relationship, or you move out. For starters, what happens when your daughter gets mobile and there are drugs in the house. Protect your mental health and your child's physical and mental health. Not every breakup is toxic and it will let him know that you are seriously concerned about him too. Drugs have a grip on him and you don't want them to destroy him even more.