I have real trouble agreeing this is ... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I have real trouble agreeing this is all anxiety

Adamj profile image
20 Replies

*Trigger warning don’t read if you don’t like talking about symptoms*

the reason I have trouble accepting it as being just all anxiety is because I’ve dealt with anxiety for a long time I’ve never ever felt like this before even during the first height of my anxiety when I was 16-17 panic attacks all the time they were more of the panic attacks of feels like I needed to escape and fear. What I’m experiencing now is my body feels like garbage I have really freaky scary symptoms that I never ever experienced before. Like it doesn’t feel like the anxiety feelings I’ve felt so many times before. The weird thing is I randomly get the feelings of how the anxiety felt before but not when I’m feeling so bad. The one doctor was like do you feel nervous I’m like I don’t really know how I feel weird but if you tell me I look anxious then I guess I am. It doesn’t make sense to me why it feels so different. Some of my weird sensations recently

Gagging, coughing ,throwing up a little, stomach pain all over especially under left ribs

Jaw gets numb randomly

Cold sensation under left ribs

Chest, arm, neck, shoulders/blades, upper back pains

weird eye symptoms like blurriness

Dizzy/lightheaded

Weird sinus pains pressures feels like they got stuck together

Headrushes

Tingly prickly feeling in left side of mouth and tongue

Heavy weak feeling in body

Weird ear pressure

feeling like I’m about to die or dying

Weird feeling like I can’t breath for a second

Body will randomly get tight

Weird sensations inside of my body

Don’t feel real and feel completely out of it sometimes

Like even the panic attacks feel weird most the time I don’t even feel heart racing or anything but like my body is freaking out

When I say my body feels like garbage I absolutely mean it it feels like I’ve gotten ran over my a freight train sometimes not from like being in pain my body just feels like it’s missing something or has a toxin in it

Yes I’ve been to doctors most just say just anxiety take this medicine move on. I don’t want to take some medicine for a month and hope it works and most that I’ve tried make my brain feel weird I’m very sensitive to medication.And frankly I feel like something else is wrong I don’t get how I can feel so bad from stress and anxiety. Granted I am feeling somewhat better then I’ve been but it’s still hell especially just be sitting here and I get these weird sensations. Yes I’ve had full bloods and such done multiple different tests on my heart brain mri my neurosurgeon is like your symptoms aren’t consistent with what the little thing was shown on your mri

It’s hard to try and exercise or anything when I feel so funky

I also don’t drink alcohol caffeine or really anything but water

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Adamj profile image
Adamj
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20 Replies
b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1

I have a recollection that you have indicated you live in the US. If that is correct, the only other thing I can think of is a trip to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Maybe it would be a worthwhile thing to do. They may either find something or else put your mind at rest once and for all that it is anxiety. You may then find a way to move forward. But get the chairi thing resolved by the neurosurgeon first to see if that is responsible for any of your symptoms.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Anxiety takes many forms but it is always still anxiety.

The first objective is to Face that these are the symptoms of anxiety disorder. Then come Accept, Float and Let time pass.

This in my lifetime of experience is the way forward to recovery.

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth

Do you take that list?I think it is possible it is something else. I don’t recall if you said how your diet is or if you looked in inflammation. That is something you can improve with or without a doctor.

Adamj profile image
Adamj in reply to Blueruth

Yeah I take my list to the doctors. I get a lot of “hms” Even just sitting here my hand is in so much pain out of no where it’s weird. They did the one blood test to check for inflammation and supposedly it was fine

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth in reply to Adamj

Are you eating a healthy whole food diet?

Adamj profile image
Adamj in reply to Blueruth

Kind of hard when you don’t have money

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth in reply to Adamj

Actually it is challenging at first but once you learn the tricks it is not expensive. There is lots written about eating healthy on a budget. If you are really interested in feeling better you just do it.

I have no idea what it could be. For all I know the people who say it is simply anxiety/mindset are right. I just know that a healthy diet will make you feel better regardless. When you are sick and really want to take control you eliminate factors like processed food or a sedentary lifestyle. I’m starting to think you aren’t that serious tbh.

Adamj profile image
Adamj in reply to Blueruth

Yeah mental health is a bitch we should all know that. You should also know what it’s like to be frozen from fear and if you don’t I’m glad you never had to deal with it. Or the constant health anxiety related thoughts. I’ve made baby steps here and there. Imagine having a life where you live in a vast area then one day it’s completed closed off to a box. It’s fucking traumatic. So before you say someone isn’t serious remember your journey.

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth in reply to Adamj

Adam, sometimes people feel more comfortable looking for answers than actually finding them.

Adamj profile image
Adamj in reply to Blueruth

Also if you think it’s something else what do you think it could be?

PastelPink20 profile image
PastelPink20

One of the worst things is feeling a deep concerning pain and having the added stress of people belittling it or not believing you.

I believe you. These symptoms sound very hard to live with and I’m sorry that you’re going through them with the added stress of the not knowing… not knowing what it is, how long it will last, or how to prevent it from happening.

I don’t know what’s causing your issues and most of this reply is just me talking about my stuff - sorry! I relate. I got a colonoscopy and many other tests that came back as A-OK! and I am not okay. I am better now and less terrified on the daily; but med side effects are still scary for me.

I actually want to buy an apply watch to be reassured that I’m not having a heart attack. lol.

How did your blood work look for vitamin deficiencies? Even if you weren’t out of range, having a lower number in the range can still affect you.

I had a lot of pain and I had the “pins and needles” sensation (paresthesia). Vitamins have helped me, but I won’t list them all out unnecessarily. I also found out I have food intolerances which helped the stomach issues. But anxiety makes everything worse.

It is possible that multiple things are affecting you and mental health is just aggravating your experience of them. Some of your symptoms remind me of people describing their sensations they get when they’re disassociating? Like heaviness, blurriness, not feeling real… Have you ever read about disassociation? Idk, this probably isn’t the best source but it has a nice little doodle. simplypsychology.org/dissoc...

Did they check your thyroid?

Again, I believe what you’re experiencing and describing is real! What’s difficult is knowing what’s serious and what’s something you have to disregard and try to live with?

Sometimes, if my body feels heavy and weird like I’m going die and I stand up, my vision goes out a little bit. Sometimes it’s not bad and I just keep standing. I guess it’s orthostatic hypotension? Other times I have to lie down, especially if I haven’t eaten enough (low blood sugar) or am dehydrated so I have to eat something or drink Gatorade for the electrolytes. It might be worth it to review what you’re eating and drinking? If you do have inflammation in your body, like @Blueruth mentioned, then it would hugely affect you.

I hate the answer anxiety, but ours brains are really powerful and can really mess us up. And it can change how it manifests??? You are still valid and your health is important and it’s still something difficult to live through and heal from.

But again, idk. I chose to get all of this testing instead of committing to try cutting out foods. I also changed my anxiety medication which gave me more anxiety so ugh.

You’re doing your best to take care of yourself! I hope the pain eases soon.

Adamj profile image
Adamj in reply to PastelPink20

All my blood work I’ve had has come back fine even a inflammation blood work thing was in normal range besides my vitamin d which was extremely low but over the last couple months have been able to get it to the safe range. I do think it can be somewhat partially anxiety. But it’s so frustrating when so many different things are similar. And one of the annoying things is even eating makes my anxiety spike no matter what I eat. Thyroid was also okay.

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth in reply to PastelPink20

The Apple Watch ecg isn’t quite good enough but I really do use it to keep me motivated. Small things will drastically reduce heart attack risk.

Needtovent profile image
Needtovent

Adam do you have a therapist? I think that is a good person to help you sort through next steps medically and emotionally. Also what Jeff says above is true wisdom, if you can get to a point where you can accept the feelings, float with them, and let time pass - the chemicals in your brain will simmer down resulting in reduced episodes. It takes time and for me the hardest part is floating with my symptoms of ruminating, my thoughts just take on a life of their own. That’s when I need a replacement activity like coming here or puzzles. Hang in there.

Adamj profile image
Adamj in reply to Needtovent

Yep I have a therapist again after not having one for over a month because my other one ditched me so it’s a whole process again ugh.

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance

Sometimes I listen to my favorite songs on spotify and think of the happy memories it brings back.. Or just get lost in the songs.. Talking to supportive friends is, helpful.. Best of luck 🤞.. We are all here for you.

designguy profile image
designguy

Hello Adam, I understand your reluctance about meds, I tried using natural supplements to see if they would help first without results so I wound up taking the meds. I'm glad I did because it allowed me to feel what "normal" felt like after having anxiety/panic for so long. I also knew that I could get off of them if I wanted to so i really had nothing to loose by trying. It helped me realize how many issues/symptoms I thought I had were really due to my anxiety after my mind and body calmed down. The meds, especially klonopin, really helped reduce my anxiety but didn't eliminate the anxiety all together. For that i had to change my approach to anxiety and commit to getting better, learn what really worked for anxiety/panic and realize that my therapist could only help and advise me so much and that it really was up to me to do the work.

Lm92 profile image
Lm92

Not discounting your feelings, but I can say that over time, the symptoms of my anxiety have changed. When they started I was around 8. I would get super nauseous, feeling that something bad was going to happen. As a teenager and early 20s I would get breathless, wring my hands, shiver, have a feeling I was dying, have intense rib pain like I had a tight band around my ribs. Since my 30s, it's dry heaves, losing my breath, feeling like reality is distorted, etc. All that I'm trying to say is that it's perfectly normal for anxiety symptoms to change over time.

Adamj profile image
Adamj in reply to Lm92

But I just can’t get over how intense they came back and why my panic attacks feel different. Like I don’t know if it’s from the intense stress or what

Lm92 profile image
Lm92 in reply to Adamj

Oh I get it. At my worst, I went to 4 different ERs at 4 different hospitals on the same day because I was convinced there HAD to be something wrong with all my intense symptoms. That was 20 years ago and I'm still kicking. :)

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