I just keep crying

[Adamj]

I’m just so burned out over feeling like this ever since start Zoloft I just keep crying and crying thinking about how I can’t handle any of this anymore I want a life back. 6 and a half months of not having a job of slowly getting worse I started getting better 2 and a half months in but then I went for a stress test started having a panic attack and slowly went down hill again especially after trying buspar. The sensations and feelings are just scary really scary. I don’t get why I have to go through it so much worse then it’s ever been before. Dammit dammit dammit I got through bad anxiety when I was 16 but this just feels different and weird. My mind is gone I’m to far gone. I tried contacting my psychiatrist but didn’t get their phone call called back and it doesn’t even go to their office just some weird number. I don’t even know anymore how I feel my memory is shot my body is shot. I self harmed last night not bad just kept plucking my leg hair cuz the pain felt good. Everything is so dark even when it’s bright and sunny out. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me at this point if it’s physical mental both. I’m just exhausted

[Joshgw]

hi. I am so sorry. I feel your pain and i am where you are. I too just sob and sob all over again and scream things like i just cant handle this anymore or someone please take this pain away. Im married with a 12 year old son. If it wasnt for them, i might not be here anymore. I cant leave them. My son's life would be ruined. I dont want to die, i want to be a dad to my son. I know exactly what its like to want your life back. I feel so emotionally paralyzed, like inertia i cant do anything and its breaking up my marriage.

I used to cut myself too because it was the only time i felt like a real live person, not a Suicidal basketcase. Im Exhausted and tired too and ive been going through this for 25 years and ive even been hospitalized. My point is, you're not alone. A lot of people could connect with you like me. If you want to talk more feel free to PM me. Im glad you reached out.

[Starrlight]

❤️ My heart goes out to you Adam and to Josh.

[Raggedy-Ann]

It's good that worked for you but that doesn't work for everyone. I agree with exercise, healthy diet, good sleep but lots of people need some medication. Depression is real. Would you tell someone with a heart condition not to take their meds?

[Raggedy-Ann]

Adam, wait it will get better. Instead of hurting yourself try going for a run. It might feel impossible but run until your lungs are full and your heart is beating. Feel the life pumping through your body. Run until it hurts if you want to feel pain but it will give you a boost of good brain chemistry. You're young I bet you can run like the wind. It's okay to run and cry, exhale the misery. It works when you really need a boost. And call a hotline or a friend. You are not alone here.

[Hidden in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Yes of course medications help depression in the short term, as do anti anxiety, but they are not a permanent fix.

This thread was not about heart conditions, again, i would never tell someone to stop taking heart medication or tell them to go for a run...yes every illness is different to each individual, anxiety is treatable without medication, depression to if its reactive...endogenous requires professional help...i am sorry my suggestions fell short of your expectations....and led someone astray...i have deleted my comment.

[TeddyBear3]

I really think you should talk to someone. Go to your local ER and tell them how you are feeling.

[Adamj in reply to TeddyBear3]

what would going to the ER do?

[TeddyBear3 in reply to Adamj]

It would prevent you from doing real self harm. It might get you connected with counseling help.

[Adamj in reply to TeddyBear3]

I’m not going to do any real self harm I have a therapist but thank you

[Dolphin14]

Adam

I'm so sorry this is continuing to get worse and not better. Sad, frustrated and drained to the point of hurting yourself😢

You know we are here for you

🐬

[Adamj in reply to Dolphin14]

thank you

[kainasar]

I got that way for a while, so started rotating the meds with the Doc's help until depression let up. Sounds like Major Depression Disorder here, so maybe another anti-depressant would work in combination, or alone.